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To that one lazy ETL: thanks for having me push five pulls you could've done last night. I'm sure my own team in the backroom will be *so* thrilled when they see that coolers and freezer weren't back stocked for FDC this morning! Today is my last closing shift ever with you, thank god! My only...

It made it out onto the floor? Omg I hope a guest didn't see it! ETL-Log found it at the same time I did, and I thought she was going to puke, so I was like, if you unlock the compactor, I'll throw it out. Never have I power walked so fast in my life....

Direct quote from one of the dudes I used (past tense, thank god) to work with: "We got so many hot underage girls here that I think I'm gonna get the cops called on me one of these days." Thankfully, none of those underage girls were in earshot, but you can be sure HR didn't take too kindly to...

Smelled something gnarly in the back room. Found a whole case of wet dog food (the kinds in the plastic trays) rotting, covered in maggots. Gotta be the nastiest thing I've seen here.

To that one LOD who decided I needed to help the salesfloor with their zone after the backroom was spotless... Thank you sooooo much! I don't mind helping, because you KNOW salesfloor always comes back to help the backroom when THEY'RE caught up.

To that new ETL: You suck. Seriously, what is it with the newest crop of ETLs/Sr. TLs we've had lately, where they're all "Tee hee, I don't know how to use the equipment!" If I'm on lunch and a guest needs some patio furniture down, but you refuse to use the stacker because you were only...

To that one LOD... I hope you enjoyed your lunch while 12 batches from the 5 o'clock pulls ran over last night. When my ETL yells at me about it, I'll be sure to tell her that you told me not to bother calling for help since you "need to be out on the sales floor and not back here."

Guests who are dissatisfied with the box their product comes in and demand I go get a duplicate with a nicer box. Bonus points if it's in an incredibly hard to reach location. Bonus bonus points if that box is "too dusty!"

To whoever it is in the district that keeps hiring young, attractive, empty-headed fools to be new ETLs.... don't be surprised when they end up sleeping around with TLs and TMs.....

To that one HRTM: Thanks for lying to my face, then continuing to double-down on your BS story when I called you on it.

Wow, really? Our AP-TL is always backing up in electronics, and he's definitely on the register. Interesting.

Oh, we do it. I have to get every damn box of Hot Wheels we have for these people so they can root through them like a pig digging for truffles. Fortunately, some of them are nice. But this guy though, omg. Comes in several times a week for the Lego Miniature things. Instead of calling like...

Adult collectors of children's toys can be some of the most obnoxious, creepy people ever. But thanks for telling me how to do my job. You clearly know the backroom better than I do.

To all those guests who walk right in the middle of the aisles, hunkered down on top of their carts like their spines can't support the weight of their body, walking as slowly as humanly possible, ignoring my polite requests to get around them... I seriously hate you. How one person manages to...

Whenever I'm running up something for flexible fulfillment and there's a huge line at Guest service, I'm so nervous some guest is gonna start yelling at me... And then I can say "I'm not even trained on the registers!" I definitely get the stink eye, but no one has yelled at me.... Yet.

Newbie salesfloor TMs trying to get newbie BR TMs to get items... omg what a clusterfuck. And to that one seasonal salesfloor TM who's been here like.... a month.... I hear you enjoy starting drama. You have apparently told everyone with ears that I "gave you a nasty look." Honey, I'm...

Rant ahead. TTO-EVERYBODY: Complete failure at every level. I'm getting so tired of cleaning up after everyone. Didn't finish pushing the truck? Dayside will take care of it. Didn't schedule enough people to push CAFs (on a weekend in December?!)? Dayside will take care of it. Oh, no...

TTOTM: Everything I do is timed. You know this. Get the hell out of my way when I'm trying to get through 12 pm CAFs. PS: There are 15 vehicles of pulls on the line that you could be working on instead of yapping at me and blocking my way.

See, the opposite happens to me. I feel like I NEED to have children to balance out the bad parents out there, LOL.

OMG, this. We juuuuust started getting weekend double-coverage in the backroom this weekend, and I got scheduled with a new TM who's been here about a month and a half (so, long enough to know better). Total lazy-ass. Disappeared at 5 pm, I figured since he was done at 6, maybe he was taking...