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He deserves a medal. I would have gotten him an Icee or something from Food Ave for that one!

To that one guest: Instocks sees everything, but you don't always see us. So while I was crouched behind a fixture scanning outs, I certainly did see you knock that bra on the floor. Normally, I wouldn't be too bothered by it, but the effort you put in to trying to shove it under the gondola...

Can't believe you didn't Vibe that further and give her a few sticks to munch on while she shops. You know, let them figure it out on their own. ;)

TTOG: Sorry that we were out of Duraflame logs and won't be getting anymore in since BTS is setting in a few weeks. "But, it's *JUNE*!" you gasped, flabbergasted that a retail store would stop selling a thing to make room for other things. Sorry that I don't control that, either. You poor...

To the guests who come in just to walk around the store scoffing at how high the prices are, and then scoff when someone tells them about the money we are basically throwing at them between the Red Card, Cartwheel, and more... Feel free to take your talents and attitude to WalMart!

I'm almost positive this is the plaza my store is in! I think that's our water tower in the background.

To whoever opened market this morning... thank you once again for not pushing any of the cooler, freezer, pro, or meat autofills. Thank you for leaving me a bin of QMOS to process, thank you for leaving me a smart cart full of cardboard and trash, and thank you for not filling milk or bananas...

To every. single. guest. Hi, I'm looseseal. You don't know me, and I'm a terrible person, but you have to act like the sun shines out of my ass anyways. I think I'm going to invite myself over to your house today. Sound good? I hope you have a coffee maker, because I really need to get my...

To that one guest... I'm so sorry that I won't allow you to buy the bananas that I have culled through. I mean really... I have some moldy strawberries in my cart too, would you like those? And whining like a two-year-old that the bananas I'm putting out aren't ripe enough really isn't going to...

To every guest using the endcaps by the price scanners as a dumping grounds for all their unwanted Christmas junk... Can. You. Not?

To that one guest: why yes, I did just see you empty out your basket into one of our open coolers. That bag of potatoes you didn't want? Literally 4 feet from where you're standing. The package of bacon? 10 feet away. The yogurt? ON THE SHELF RIGHT ABOVE THE ONE you just dumped your crap on...

To that one guest making a fuss over 10.5 oz bags of Sun Chips vs. 7 oz bags... you do realize that half the bag is filled with air anyways, right?

My favorite is always the "how do I get out of the store???" Um... the same way you came in?