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Tessa120

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Horseshoe crabs don't have iron based blood, they have copper based blood. Their blood is pale blue. Shouldn't Mr. Spock's blood look similar to other creatures with copper oxygen exchange?
 

can't touch this

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I never could get into Star Trek but watching both TOS and TNG really underscores the naiveté of technofuturists (what they thought technological advancement would bring us vs. what actually happened)
 

commiecorvus

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I never could get into Star Trek but watching both TOS and TNG really underscores the naiveté of technofuturists (what they thought technological advancement would bring us vs. what actually happened)
It's funny how the series changed with DS9 and Disco.
It got much darker and far less utopic.
The whole just because we have the best toys doesn't make us better people.
Many of the fans just hate that.
It just isn't Star Trek to them.
 

Tessa120

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I really liked DS9. Because it did bring the people factor, it did show negotiation and prime directive when dealing with groups that don't believe in either.

I also liked Voyager. It was a throwback to TOS, where everywhere was new and everyone was new and exotic. Many fans hated it for exactly that reason, they had gotten comfortable with familiar races and locations.

Enterprise had a rough time of it, the writers had to keep the technology pre-TOS but at the same time not keep the TOS technology that had already been surpassed and not keep the lack of special effects. The fan boys were furious that the 1960s style weren't adhered to exactly. The writers also had the problem that every basic plot line that could be put in a story had been done so ad nauseum in the previous 4 shows (5 if you count the animated series) and 9 movies, so keeping things fresh was a huge problem. So stupid temporal cold war plot. And the wave of anger and pain, Xindi plot that was done terribly.

I haven't seen the later series. I saw part of the movie that was a remake of Khan, but I thought the first movie with that cast was not Star Trek in how it was written, trying to give the second a chance was equally not Star Trek, so I didn't bother to finish it.
 
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Okay so this just happened and I’m so fucking pissed off but I wanted to see what other people think about the situation.

Backstory- I’m 20 years old. I still live at home because I work at target. My mom tells me all the time I’m not an actual adult even though I pay her rent and pay my own bills because I still live with her. We always fight about it because in my opinion I am not a child and she says I still am and I think it’s demeaning and condescending for her to say that.

Anyways. As mentioned in another post I live in a ghetto town. On my street there’s a house across the from mine on the corner we refer to as the trap house which looks exactly as you’d imagine a trap house. Today I was walking to my car and a couple guys hanging out in front of the trap house cat-called me. Whatever, it happens, I just ignored them and went on my way. When I got home I told my mom about it because earlier she had mentioned that the people there today had seemed weirder than normal. All I was doing was just venting, at most. She decides to take it upon her fucking self and walk over to the house (in her pajamas) knock on the door, and tell them to leave her daughter alone. I didn’t even know she did this until after she did it she told me. I am absolutely fucking mortified. I am a fucking ADULT. I did not feel threatened, unsafe, nor was I even that bothered. Now she’s made it into some huge blown out of proportion deal where now I’m too embarrassed to even leave the house because they’re always hanging out in front of theirs and my “mommy” ran over to them to scold them. We fought about it because she said she was just protecting me, from my point of view it’s just another thing of her belittling me as a person and as an adult, treating me like a child and deciding things for me without consulting me. Like she didn’t even ask me if she could do this. What do we think was she in the wrong or am I overreacting?
 

Tessa120

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Based on some old stuff you've said and this, you have a helicopter mom. She can't let go because she is convinced that you will make the wrong choice (about anything) so she has to make sure you pick the right choices by picking them for you. Helicopter parents also don't tend to see their child has actually hit mental adulthood, because (parent's mind) they still need a child's level of mothering.

To partially cut the umbilical cord, you have two choices - move out or start hiding stuff big time. The latter isn't all that wise, but it sounds like the former isn't financially feasible yet. Hiding stuff isn't just smuggling weed into your room, it's carving out huge blocks of time that you disappear and do your own activities. Trying to reason, most of the time it won't work, they truly don't see their child doesn't need them involved until only after the child has pushed back hard and gained independence and shown they can pick themselves up after a failure.

Now, word of warning. She didn't turn into a helicopter mom yesterday, she sounds like the stereotype so she's likely been stunting your growth all along because she's convinced she cannot let you fail and must do everything for you. So your risk/reward assessment is likely going to be a little screwed up because you've never had opportunity to learn and you may feel the temptation to jump into the deep end of the independence pool rather than wading in and learning to swim in a safer part.
 
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Update: it turned into such a huge fight my mom went upstairs and started throwing stuff, she punched her closet door which knocked it off the hinges and then both of them fell down off the track, I was downstairs so it sounded like she was going absolutely fucking mental throwing everything and I started to have a panic attack so I grabbed my keys and l left, I just wanted to be out of the house away from her so I drove to the Barnes and noble parking lot, I was sitting in my car trying to calm down when she called me and said “if you feel so fucking threatened that you decided to leave you better bring that car back here right now or I’m going to call the cops and report it stolen” and hung up. It is her extra car that she lets me use, I pay her $150-$200 a month for letting me use it so it technically isn’t mine. I started to have a panic attack again because I didn’t want to go back but I had to or she would call the cops and I had no defense since it isn’t my car. I drove home and we had a very long, emotional talk but basically we made up and now we’re getting dinner lol. My life is like a bad soap opera.
 

seasonaldude

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Transfer to a store in a low cost of living area so you can move out and get away from Mommy Dearest.
 

Tessa120

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If she's that violent towards objects and threatening to put you in jail, that kinda moves past helicopter mom and into verbal and emotional abuse. It might be worthwhile to do some soul searching on that front, if this is a one time event or if there's always a lot of intimidation going on. If there is a lot of intimidation, then maybe consider looking at resources to teach how to handle being in that position.
 

seasonaldude

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I live in the bay area, I’d have to like move states lol :(
Come to the great plains. We're nice and you'd be far away from your mom.

You really need to put youself in a position where you are in charge of you. No questions asked about that. I've been in bad places before. Sometimes it's best just to move far away from it. I've done it. It's hard. But, it's worth it.
 

Tessa120

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Fuck AT&T. Their technology delivery is good, their customer service is the equivalent of what is on the bottom of your shoe when a dog leaves a surprise in your yard.

I go into their store, sign up for cell phone and satellite at the same time. It's been three months. I've had three satellite bills. I still cannot view my phone bill, it says "your first bill isn't ready yet". I was told to wait until the billing cycle was complete, I was told to wait until the billing cycle, I finally found a sum by clicking a lot of links on the website, no bill, no itemization and it was nearly disconnect status, I yelled, I yelled some more, I was promised it was fixed and I would see it next cycle because it was combined with satellite...and today it still shows as not ready, but clicking all those links shows another (hopefully current) payment.

Edit: The last phone call, today, when the representative tried to talk me into paper billing because she couldn't figure out how to get my bill to show online and said that I just needed to wait until the billing cycle finished and it'd be available next cycle, first I told her that this is ridiculous and fix it, that I ought to be entitled to receive a bill in a manner that they already have set up, and she put me on hold to "see what she could find out" I started filling out a BBB complaint form. And when she got back on and tried to say again I just needed to wait until the billing cycle finished up and I would then have a bill available, I chewed her out while continuing to type one handed. And when I hit submit I told her I just filed a BBB complaint and I was done with the phone call since she was not offering resolution. Hopefully the BBB can put enough pressure on them that I will finally have access to my wireless bill through the online billing system, same as how I can see the last three billing statements for DirecTV.
 
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soyaxo

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Speaking of helicopter moms, I went out to have dinner with some old target coworkers to celebrate my promotion, I don’t even drink alcohol, and I fucking leave my Snapchat location on. My mom is literally saved into my phone as FBI. I live in my own house, near my mom but 20 minutes away because we live in a big city. She calls me at midnight asking why I’m not home because I have work tomorrow and my first day of leadership training. She....she DROVE BY MY HOUSE TO CHECK IF I GOT HOME, EVEN THOUGH I DON’T WORK EARLY SO I STAYED OUT A LITTLE LATE. We argued about it. I understand caring, but trying to control every aspect of my life getting a little old once you’re in your 20s. (I’m 22.) She refused to let me have a relationship with my dad for years, and my dad is awesome. But after they divorced, she let her dislike of him take over. He and I have a great relationship now but we know her toxic manipulation almost made that impossible, because it is hard to reach out from 1200 miles away. When I travel on a plane to my hometown by myself, I can see my siblings and dad and stepmom without my mom hovering, and it’s so nice. She bitches about how much my other sister and I stress her out all the time but we literally leave the house like ONCE A MONTH WHEN WE’RE NOT WORKING OR IN SCHOOL (I’m in college.) I have to text her EVERY TIME I arrive to and from work or any other destination. I feel like I have a probation officer. My dad is the opposite. When we were younger and first had cell phones as teens, I would tell my dad (my parents used to have split custody back in the day and I loved when it was time to stay with my dad) where I was and he would be like “ok I trust you dime si necesitas algo but have fun” and then I would get home and go to bed. You know, like a normal person.
 

Tessa120

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Wow.

You say you don't live with her. Is she paying your bills? If she's not paying your bills then you don't have to text her. What's she going to do? Make a scene? Then you back off even more so you aren't around that mess, and just like a toddler she'll learn that throwing a temper tantrum won't wear you down and she won't get what she wants that way. Call the police? You tell the police that she is controlling and demanding all this accounting and you are trying to be an independent adult. Most police will tell you to play nice, once in a while let her hear from you, they'll go back and tell her you're fine and you're an adult, and third or fourth time she calls the police they will tell her in no uncertain terms to stop calling because there are laws about wasting police resources.
 

can't touch this

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Super random but I have a theory. I know a lot of people who are "much better off" than I am in both financial and general quality-of-life terms, and yet they are paradoxically far more prone to bouts of depression than I am. They are, to a person, far more intelligent and educated than I am. They are doing things with their lives or trying to. It weirds me the fuck out and I had to theorize about it. Could it be that low intelligence (hurr I'm dum lol) grants me immunity to depression? Does high intelligence come with a sort of stat penalty in the sense that the more intelligent are more depression prone? Or perhaps it's selection bias or whatever, who tf knows. Whatch'yall think? 🤔
 

tholmes

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Super random but I have a theory. I know a lot of people who are "much better off" than I am in both financial and general quality-of-life terms, and yet they are paradoxically far more prone to bouts of depression than I am. They are, to a person, far more intelligent and educated than I am. They are doing things with their lives or trying to. It weirds me the fuck out and I had to theorize about it. Could it be that low intelligence (hurr I'm dum lol) grants me immunity to depression? Does high intelligence come with a sort of stat penalty in the sense that the more intelligent are more depression prone? Or perhaps it's selection bias or whatever, who tf knows. Whatch'yall think? 🤔
!

This is an interesting read related to your theory. It seems that there is at least a correlation between high IQ and depression rates.

If you'd rather not read the entire thing, here's an interesting tidbit: in this study, their results showed people with high intelligence to be nearly twice as likely to have anxiety than the national average (20% vs 10.9%) and almost 4 times as likely to have depressive disorders (24% vs 6.7%)
 
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