Archived AE 2017

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sigma7

sigma7

Former ETL-All the Things
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Jun 15, 2011
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Anyone hear any rumors yet about changes to come in 2017?
 
Yes. Instead of referring to it as Acheiving Excellence, it will now be referred to as "Maintaining Mediocrity"

It will include further reductions of hours, numerous failed pilots, new equipment which does not work, and software updates that break worse than those that they replace.

Also included for free: a hefty bonus for our lord and savior Brian Cornell for doing such an amazing job. All hail Brian.
 
But, PB & J in the breakroom!
beerchug.gif
 
  • Hours will continue to dwindle in hopes of boosting profit margins. Team lead positions will receive a maximum of twenty hour work weeks, while workloads will double.
  • HR will be mandated to hang ineffective inspiring posters in TSC, which are expected to bring a 235% effectiveness boost to morale. Failure to meet said goals will result in live executions of HR team members and team leads via Skype chat, for the great benefit of district and regional team leads.
  • To fulfill the ethos of "fast, fun, and friendly", all team members are instructed to take a predetermined dose of hyperactive stimulants such as cocaine, amphetamines, or MDMA approximately one hour before clocking in. Failure to comply will result in a strict coaching. Drugs will also be determined by position; higher pay grades shall receive more effective drugs, and in higher doses.
  • The corpses of overdosed team members will be stored in the break room, as a reminder to living team members what will happen to them if they are not effective enough in achieving goals. The stench of death will also serve as a deterrent to extend breaks past their fifteen minute marks.
  • If you die on Target property, your corpse is now Target property.
 
greatteam said:
Yes. Instead of referring to it as Acheiving Excellence, it will now be referred to as "Maintaining Mediocrity"

It will include further reductions of hours, numerous failed pilots, new equipment which does not work, and software updates that break worse than those that they replace.

Also included for free: a hefty bonus for our lord and savior Brian Cornell for doing such an amazing job. All hail Brian.
Click to expand...

Forgot to mention pitifully trying to fight a war with Amazon that was lost five years ago. Kind of like the Justice League movie.
 
HRZone said:
Saw on WB a focus will be in baby registries this year. Ironic because Babys R Us has a way better selection and we got rid of the baby advisor position at our store a long time ago.
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I saw that too. I liked the part about letting guests know that yeah, a bunch of stuff is going to be discontinued and go away so be sure to come back multiple times through the month to fix update their registry.

At least that's how I read it.
 
HRZone said:
Saw on WB a focus will be in baby registries this year. Ironic because Babys R Us has a way better selection and we got rid of the baby advisor position at our store a long time ago.
Click to expand...
Slim chance but I hope this means bringing back a brand/specialist team member there. I've always felt they miss a lot of sales there when no one is around to help registry shoppers find what they're looking for, based on how often (especially on weekends) I get stopped and help guests put hundreds of dollars in their carts. And if there was someone to maintain the zone so the products were actually there to buy, that'd be even more money for stores.
 
I feel like many months ago my sales floor ETL told me that they were "eventually" going to have someone who was like the head of the baby department, and they'd stay over there and know all the products, etc.

Haven't heard anything about it in a long time...I mean, it was probably like 4 months ago that they said this. Weird. It does seem like a really good idea, but if we can't find the hours to get normal day-to-day stuff done I can't fathom how they'll justify it.
 
Don't know if anyone got the memo, but every store is supposed to be dropping manual CAFs for BB01, BB02, and BB03 daily, as well as researching outs in the baby departments. :rolleyes:
 
SrTLall said:
Don't know if anyone got the memo, but every store is supposed to be dropping manual CAFs for BB01, BB02, and BB03 daily, as well as researching outs in the baby departments. :rolleyes:
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Yeah there's no way that's a company-wide thing. They could just change the pull triggers if they want those departments to be full to the max.
 
HRZone said:
Saw on WB a focus will be in baby registries this year. Ironic because Babys R Us has a way better selection and we got rid of the baby advisor position at our store a long time ago.
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That's what I read today as well. We don't have a baby advisor either.
 
I have heard, though I doubt it, that specialists positions would be back. Anybody know something about this?
 
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Joel said:
I have heard, though I doubt it, that specialists positions would be back. Anybody know something about this?
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Well the first position that comes to mind is signing, since every store should already have a signing TM. And I can't really see Target saying "yes, let's go ahead and pay signing TMs more for the job they've already been doing."

I'd really like to see some kind of Flex Fulfillment leadership position (at least in stores with higher order caps). If Target really wants to grow online sales, they need someone focused on getting results instead of a TL who has to worry about backroom/instocks/receiving/and flex. Maybe make a combined Instocks/FF TL.
 
SFSFun said:
Yeah there's no way that's a company-wide thing. They could just change the pull triggers if they want those departments to be full to the max.
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While you don't have to do manual CAFs, it's basically the same thing if you do them daily. Don't know if it's company wide, but it's definitely something my ETL got from somewhere.

Can't find it anywhere on WB so it's probably a regional thing initiated by someone who sits at a desk and is trying to get a raise/promotion.
 

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If that "packet" would include bringing back some of the things that actually made Spot standout in terms of quality, that would be awesome. (Hours, Specialists, etc.) All Focus should be getting us all as a company back to what we once was, instead of what we have become.
 
2Spooky4U said:
  • To fulfill the ethos of "fast, fun, and friendly", all team members are instructed to take a predetermined dose of hyperactive stimulants such as cocaine, amphetamines, or MDMA approximately one hour before clocking in. Failure to comply will result in a strict coaching. Drugs will also be determined by position; higher pay grades shall receive more effective drugs, and in higher doses.
Click to expand...

Fuck, my store must have been a pilot for that because that has been happening for a while here. I always thought the TMs were just showing up for work high.
 
garbage said:
Fuck, my store must have been a pilot for that because that has been happening for a while here. I always thought the TMs were just showing up for work high.
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They may have been going off on their own interpretation of "best practice", because it's intended for speed-increasing narcotics only. No weed or opiates, not until after you clock out.
 
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