Anyone here deal with mental illness?

hipturd

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I thought maybe we could support each other and if there is another thread about this by all means let me know! I was diagnosed recently with Bipolar II. I have dealt with severe depression and anxiety since high school. I'm having a terrible day today feeling alone and like I'm being left behind. I feel like everyone has their life together except me. I have one friend (and a very big loving family but they live 6 hrs away), I'm not seeing anyone (and valentines day is coming up yay) and I still love at home because I can't afford to move out. When I start feeling like this I try to shift my thoughts which thankfully the medication I'm on has helped keep my mind from racing 24/7 so I can control them more, but sometimes it's hard to do that. It would just be nice to feel not so alone.
 
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Hi,
Iam so glad you posted this! I had to call in sick b/c migraine, so I cant write much now. I took this job after participating in a bipolar support group. I had retired from my regular job almost 3 yrs ago b/c of my mental health issues. It is a struugle . My Target job challenges me a lot, but I really enjoy it . I am ways afraid I wil l get fired for being so i credibly annoying.

Hope to talk to you and others with these type of issues. Have a good weekend.
 

hipturd

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I feel the same way. Pretty much the only one who knows about my bipolar is the ETL-HR and only because I came in one day just crying my eyes out because I was so tired of life I just didn't want to do it anymore. Other than that I don't really disclose it because it's nobodies business. I haven't missed work over it yet, but in my past jobs I did take off a few days here and there because I just couldn't deal with it. I hope we can get more people to open up and talk about something I feel gets swept under the rug too much.
 

sigma7

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I've struggled with depression, so I know the depressive side of bipolar disorder. Just know that those people you think have their life together have doubts too. I know it's easier said than done, but don't focus on what other people are doing and don't compare yourself to them as much as you can avoid doing it. I still find myself making up scenarios and motivations in my head from time to time. I have to consciously tell myself to stop it and just breathe.

It's nice to see a post like this. Too often mental health issues just get swept under the rug.
 

hipturd

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It's nice to know there are other people out there going through the same thing. I try to explain to people what I go through, but they tend not to understand at all. I have even had relatives tell me to just "be happy" and nothing irritates me more than that. I feel a lot of the time unless you experience it you really have no idea what it's like. My mom tried to describe her idea of what anxiety is and it was so far off from the truth it made me just feel even more misunderstood. I feel like a lot of people are just unwilling to accept that mental illness is a real thing. They think if you just take your vitamins and change your thought patterns you'll be ok. I'm happy to see you guys here it makes me happy.
 
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When I am in one of my states of depression, I have had family members tell me to snap out of it.Which is usually followed by, you are just sad and have the blues everyone goes through that. They fail to realize that being depressed isn't the same as having the blues and or just being sad.
 

commiecorvus

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Depression sucks.
It can take you down in ways that people don't understand, especially when you've learned how to project a 'cheerful' demeanor.

Trying to explain it to people who have never felt it is like trying to explain what drowning feels like to someone who has never had their head held under water until they couldn't breath and started to black out.
 

sigma7

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Try going to a baptist college where when you try to talk to people about being depressed you get more than one "You need to love Jesus more," or "You just need to pray harder," or "I just don't think real believers could even be depressed" in addition to all of the "just stop being sad" sentiments.

Thankfully not everyone at my university was like that, but there was bubble that many of the students and faculty chose to live in.

Being "sad" is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to depression.
 
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I have dysthymia, which is like instead of having depressive episodes that last 2-4+ weeks and being normal the rest of the time i'm depressed most of the time and get more depressed every couple weeks. Counseling has helped, a lot. I started counseling right around the time I started at Target and without it I would have literally had to quit because I couldn't cope with anything (I'd be locked in the flex fufillment closet crying instead of locking myself in there because I hate my job).

My counselor is/was a proponent of ACT therapy which is like, instead of trying to change your bad thoughts you just let unhelpful thoughts go There's a book called The Happiness Trap on it that has honestly helped me a lot, I know self help books are cheeseball but this one is pretty swell.
 
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I have a mentally ill dependent diagnosed with psychosis, depression, anxiety, bipolar in addition to other physical illnesses. I live it every day even though it is not my diagnosis. He is completely dependent upon me for 100% of his care. Please take your meds and know that people care.
 
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I have depression and anxiety and I've been told by doctors I have mild OCD too. For me, it's hell. I hate having to deal with mental illness. People look at you in a negative way and definitely treat you differently. They either don't want to deal with you or act like you can just flip a switch and everything will be okay and normal. And then you have the types that think you're just faking it or you make it worse than it is.
My anxiety has definitely gotten worse over the last 5 to 10 years. When I was in high school and younger, I felt different and healthier. Maybe, the mental illness was just hiding or dormant. The last couple of years, it's gotten the worst it's ever been. I've tried medicine but it never seems to help. I go to therapy once a month but it's a counselor at a Christian based organization so you know it's biased. I'm 50/50 on quitting the sessions. During the last session, my counselor told me that I "need to go to God". I didn't say anything at the time about it because I didn't want to make the counselor mad but it definitely offended me.
Religion is a very sensitive subject for me. I honestly don't want to be preached at when I'm supposed to be trying to fix my mental health. I'm not an atheist but I definitely don't practice Christianity that much anymore. When I'm in therapy, it's about my mental health. Do I blame religion in a way for my mental health problems? In some ways, yeah.
I was constantly teased 24/7 for 10 years because "I was a preacher's kid" or "my dad was a preacher in town". No one ever really wanted to be my friend. Sure, I had "friends" but they weren't true friends. I was always judged simply because of the job my dad had. My social skills definitely were damaged by those 10 years of torment and torture. I have an incredibly hard time trusting anyone or letting anyone get close to me. I'm always worried that they're lying or just making fun of me. I had so many people in high school pretend to be my friend. It was sad.

There is definitely a stigma about mental illness in America.

We either turn the other way or look down on the mentally ill. It's very sad and intolerant. We should be helping people that have mental health problems. Not judging them and making them feel bad about it.
 

sigma7

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Many mental illnesses tend to present in your early 20's, so it totally makes sense that you felt different in high school and earlier. I've taken meds before and they didn't really help me. I didn't like the way I felt on them. They made me pretty flat, which I honestly can't say was an improvement over feeling depressed most of the time but normal every now and then. What's worked the best for me has been regular exercise and teaching myself to think more objectively.

I was lucky enough to find a couple of really good friends in my time at Target. I've always had trouble making friends because my MO was to second guess people's motives and intentions. I never really trusted people. And at the vaguest hint of a slight against me, I would immediately shut people out. It took me a long time to realize that a big part of the reason why I felt and was lonely was my fault. I couldn't trust people. These two guys are now my best friends and have been for several years. We are closer than I am with most of my family. They know everything about me, including that I've been diagnosed with depression. And guess what? They didn't shun me. Every now and then I'll get upset by something, but I have to remind myself that these guys are my brothers and wouldn't intentionally do something to hurt me.

Anyway, this is obviously a subject that I'm passionate about and could go on for quite some time. At the end of the day though, I don't let my depression define me. It's tough, but some days are easier than others. I've had to work hard to change my negative thought patterns and issues with motivation and self destructive behaviors, but I've gotten much better at controlling those facets of depression. sometimes I slip up and find myself sliding down or already back in the pit, but when I finally come to I just have to pull myself back out of it. It's helped me a lot that I pay more attention now and can recognize when I'm starting to drift back into a depressed state. It's much easier to climb a hill than a mountain.
 

buliSBI

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If you haven't already, have your doctor refer you to a neurologist. They can determine if any symptoms you have can be medicated.

Check into a church group or group therapy in your area that deals with mental or recovery issues.
 

hipturd

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I too do Christian based counseling but my counselor is awesome and very rarely mentions religion. He's also been in my position so I feel comfortable talking to him. Sadly he's moving out of state soon so now I'm stuck finding someone new. He wants me to see a psychologist but I'm having issues with my insurance at the moment so I may just have to wait on that which sucks. Right now though I'm more worried about upping my dosage tomorrow. I'm on Lamictal and my psychiatrist says I have to take it very slowly or I can get a horrible rash that can spread to my interal organs. Fun times.
 

commiecorvus

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The tough part about medication is that there is no magic bullet.
They don't work the same on everybody when it comes down to mental illness issues and sometimes the side effects are almost as obnoxious as the problem itself.
But there are different drugs that the doctor can use and it is worth the trouble to play guinea pig for a while.
The end result can often mean the difference between life and well, maybe not death, but certainly a life that damned difficult.
 

hipturd

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The medication I am on right now has already been wonderful for me! I feel like it's helped keep my racing mind in check and I am just so much calmer. I don't explode at the drop of a hat like I used to and I am sleeping a lot better. I find with medication the one downside is you have to feel like crap before you start feeling better. One of the downsides for me is this medication gives me ridiculous heartburn if I don't eat something with it and it makes me drowsy as hell, but I am hopeful that in the end it will all be worth it.
 
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I just don't want to hear someone tell me that I need to "go to God" when it comes to mental health. Do you think a person with AIDS or cancer wants to hear that? And this is 2015 not New Testament times. Jesus isn't walking around healing people by touching them. You can be religious but you also have to be realistic. There has to be something physical or something that you experienced in your past that caused your mental illness. Your genes also play a role too.
 

Nauzhror

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Not sure if I'd call it a mental illness, but severe perfectionism has ruined my life.

I am certifiably a genius, have 152 IQ, am a member of MENSA, and could join the triple nine society (similar to MENSA, but more elitist, requires 150+ IQ, named such because it excludes 99.9% of the population).

I have been socially awkward most of my life due inability to relate with most people. I also often severely underachieved because I felt if I couldn't be the best at it wasn't worth trying.

I am very competitive, and have held world records in many video games, but not in anything with real world importance.
 

hipturd

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I was once told I tested in the top 5% in the state. I'm also socially awkward or at least I feel like I am. I have times where I can tell people are bored with me but I just have to get my thoughts out so I just keep talking with little regard to their feelings. I think maybe you could have something going on but you wouldn't know unless you saw a doctor. I'm usually very anal about my zoning as well like it has to be as close to perfect as possible and my fellow TM's have commented on this so who knows, but I definitely understand at least to some degree where you're coming from.
 
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I suffer from anxiety and depression. I have been hospitalized for it three times...twice while at Target. Unfortunately, the last time a year and a half ago, it was so bad, I was in there for two weeks, but they let me go because my insurance said two weeks was it....never mind I had made an (horribly bad) attempt on my life two days prior while in the hospital.

I've worked hard the past year and a half to get where I am, and I've been struggling recently because this entire job search thing is a very scary emotional roller coaster. And I fear getting into my new job and getting "sick" again and losing that job for it.
 

hipturd

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I've been in a similar situation. When I worked my previous retail job I literally had a nervous breakdown which led me to taking quite a bit of time off. I didn't get fired thankfully, but eventually I quit because I was just not in a good place and they needed to get their shit together. Job searching is always hard especially these days when everything is done online. Like you don't get that personal face to face time when going in to ask for an application they just tell you to fill it out online. Also as my counselor said you have a better chance at getting a job through a friend (which I have like one and she can't help me anyways) and it just sucks it's so hard. I hope you find something soon and just remember you're not alone if you ever need to talk I'm here.
 

redeye58

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Not sure if I'd call it a mental illness, but severe perfectionism has ruined my life.

I am certifiably a genius, have 152 IQ, am a member of MENSA, and could join the triple nine society (similar to MENSA, but more elitist, requires 150+ IQ, named such because it excludes 99.9% of the population).

I have been socially awkward most of my life due inability to relate with most people. I also often severely underachieved because I felt if I couldn't be the best at it wasn't worth trying.

I am very competitive, and have held world records in many video games, but not in anything with real world importance.
Have you been screened for Aspergers?
 
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