Anyone here deal with mental illness?

pellinore

Life sucks and nothing good can come of it.
Joined
Jun 16, 2011
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It is pretty late, but I thought that I ought give a quick note on things.....well, I made it through Christmas. I didn't call my PCP after Christmas. Just knowing that she was available was enough for me to get to the next appointment on January 3. The day before my scheduled appointment I got a phone message that said that there was a scheduling conflict and that I should call in for another appointment. When I called the receptionist said that my doctor had called in to cancel her full week of appointments because she was sick....and actually wasn't feeling well the Thursday and Friday after Christmas. Anyway, the receptionist commented that my doctor never misses work. Anyway I re-scheduled to see the doctor on January 10.
I saw my doctor on January 10. The appointment went really well.

I'll fill-in some of the details soon.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the counselor that I saw three times. Twice before being fired and then on October 31. It has been awhile and I've no idea of what's going to happen and what we will discuss. Guess it will be a surprise.
 

band_rules16

Former Photo Great/Oh No I've Sold My Soul Again
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I've held off on posting on this thread for awhile, but I think it's time I contribute. I was at Target from 2007-2012 while in school (and after), and while my mental health wasn't great then, it seems like a dream compared to what I've been dealing with lately.

I left Spot in 2012 to go teach, and taught in a few areas in my state up until this most recent school year. Last year, I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression. I had also been considering grad school and was dating someone for the first time in a REALLY long time. It seemed like life was going well until my significant other ended things out of the blue in June. That pushed me to quit my job and attend grad school full time, basically running away. My depression has also fully ramped up, to the point where I reapplied for a seasonal position at Spot (different city) so I wasn't sitting around on weekends, moping. (I was one of the few they kept, on which I wasn't surprised at, after all the experience I had from my first store.) I was actually grateful for the holidays as it kept me busy and made the days go by faster.

Amazingly enough, Target hasn't made my mental health worse. Everything else has, but sometimes I'm glad to go into work because it takes my mind off things. Of course, the post holiday hours slash hasn't helped now. I've been seeing a counselor, but the holidays made me reconsider medication. Things haven't gotten better. My ex hasn't talked to me in months, won't talk to me, and I have no idea what I did to merit that. Grad school hasn't been what I expected, almost to the point where I think I'd be better off going back into the teaching field and not finishing the degree. It's getting difficult to want to go see family or friends, and most of them don't understand why I'm not past my ex yet.

I've heard the usual "get a new hobby, stay busy" advice. I've been seeing the counselor (and will have to be going back). I just don't understand why things happened the way they did, and why I'm struggling so much to get past it. It's definitely old of being sick and tired of being sick and tired...I hope better is coming.

Also grateful for all of you here on this forum, welcoming me back into the fold. It's like I never left! *sniff*
 
Joined
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I’m also about to return to work after 8 weeks of FMLA. The closer I get to returning the more anxious and depressed I get. My ETL is horrible. I’ve scheduled a meeting with my HR before I go back. I plan to let HR know that working in a hostile environment contributed to my mental “breakdown.” I’m also going to ask for a few accommodations for when I go back. I’m scared, you guys.
 

Black Sheep 214

Kiss no butts, give no fox
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I’m also about to return to work after 8 weeks of FMLA. The closer I get to returning the more anxious and depressed I get. My ETL is horrible. I’ve scheduled a meeting with my HR before I go back. I plan to let HR know that working in a hostile environment contributed to my mental “breakdown.” I’m also going to ask for a few accommodations for when I go back. I’m scared, you guys.
Sorry that you have a horrible ETL and a hostile work environment. Been there, done that and I hope HR can help you. Good Luck!🍀
 

GoodyNN

Plays with strings; Bacon Number of 2
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I’m also about to return to work after 8 weeks of FMLA. The closer I get to returning the more anxious and depressed I get. My ETL is horrible. I’ve scheduled a meeting with my HR before I go back. I plan to let HR know that working in a hostile environment contributed to my mental “breakdown.” I’m also going to ask for a few accommodations for when I go back. I’m scared, you guys.
Work with your medical care team to document the accommodations requested. You asking for them will not bear as much weight as your doctor ordering the same.
 
Joined
Jan 20, 2019
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I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was about 14/15 and now (15+ years later) I’ve had ups and downs but these last two months I’ve been really depressed. I’ve called out a bunch of times because the depression was so bad. I’m worried I will get fired because of it eventually. I’m medicated but I think maybe I need an increase in my dosage.
 

Amanda Cantwell

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I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was about 14/15 and now (15+ years later) I’ve had ups and downs but these last two months I’ve been really depressed. I’ve called out a bunch of times because the depression was so bad. I’m worried I will get fired because of it eventually. I’m medicated but I think maybe I need an increase in my dosage.
Talk with your doctor or therapist. Let them know what’s going on. If you feel comfortable, talk to ETL HR too so they know why you’re calling out. Medical LOA is an option too
 
Joined
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I’m taking Clonazepam and I wonder if Ativan might be a better fit for me. One of Clonazepam‘s side effects is depression so why prescribe it to someone who is already depressed?
I don't get that either, because I had a similar experience with Clonazepam and I know other people who have, too. I've since switched to another med and feel less depressed, anyway. Being a GSA/SEA has my anxiety off the chain, but I'm working on that with HR and my GSTL. (Feel free to PM if you have any questions about meds. If it's a med, I've probably been on it.)

And hey, good luck with the return and the talk.
 
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Joined
Nov 13, 2018
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Well I might as well jump in on this topic.
Hi my name is “Sweet Pea” and I have dealt w anxiety and depression my entire life. 40+ years.
So lately I’ve been having issues at home and its causing me some anxiety. Usually following anxiety I get depressed. So I’ve been sluggish at work and I hate it. A few times I have just out of the blue started crying. Just for like 30 seconds. Like a release valve has been activated then I’m fine.
Anyway I feel alone at work. And embarrassed to talk about it.
I feel alone at home also.
 
Joined
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I’m taking Clonazepam and I wonder if Ativan might be a better fit for me. One of Clonazepam‘s side effects is depression so why prescribe it to someone who is already depressed?
I take Clonazepam only on occasion as a sedative when my anxiety gets too high. For that it works great. I can’t imagine it would do anything for my depression. I take Zoloft every day for that.
 

Amanda Cantwell

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Well I might as well jump in on this topic.
Hi my name is “Sweet Pea” and I have dealt w anxiety and depression my entire life. 40+ years.
So lately I’ve been having issues at home and its causing me some anxiety. Usually following anxiety I get depressed. So I’ve been sluggish at work and I hate it. A few times I have just out of the blue started crying. Just for like 30 seconds. Like a release valve has been activated then I’m fine.
Anyway I feel alone at work. And embarrassed to talk about it.
I feel alone at home also.
call TMLR if you need someone to talk to. as they say, "it's ok to not feel ok"
 

pellinore

Life sucks and nothing good can come of it.
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Jun 16, 2011
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Sweet Pea- can you contact your doctor? That's the person who will be able to help you the most.
Good luck.
I understand the crying bit, except when I cry many times it lasts for 20 minutes.
I truly hate depression. I don't know why our great creators decided that mental health issues were a good idea.
Very little good comes from these problems. Right now, I'm finding myself working to close off friends because I've been feeling like I don't matter and people shouldn't have to waste their precious time on me. I'm such a waste to humanity and I'm poison to the people that come near me. I don't deserve to have people in my life.
 
Joined
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Sweet Pea- can you contact your doctor? That's the person who will be able to help you the most.
Good luck.
I understand the crying bit, except when I cry many times it lasts for 20 minutes.
I truly hate depression. I don't know why our great creators decided that mental health issues were a good idea.
Very little good comes from these problems. Right now, I'm finding myself working to close off friends because I've been feeling like I don't matter and people shouldn't have to waste their precious time on me. I'm such a waste to humanity and I'm poison to the people that come near me. I don't deserve to have people in my life.
Pell, you have friends who listen &'care about you. Do some volunteer work to keep you active.
 

pellinore

Life sucks and nothing good can come of it.
Joined
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Messages
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I'm making it through, but it is difficult. Earlier this week I called my PCP and was able to talk with her. I was telling her some things and finally she said that I was talking in circles and she was having difficulty understanding what it was I was trying to tell her. Part of what I said was how I had sent an email to a friend and that the friend said that my letter sent up a few red flags and I mentioned something else. She did try to understand what I was saying, but what she tried to say to me wasn't what I was trying to say. So she asked me if I was planning to hurt myself and when I told her that I wasn't. What was weird is that she said "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" I told her that I wouldn't lie to her.

I got to thinking about her question. I think that I must have caused her to be concerned. I don't like that she had to ask me to confirm what was happening. We didn't have much time because she had to go to see another patient. I guess that what I was saying wasn't making as much sense to her as it did to me.

From this experience I have learned that if I can't explain what it is that is going on then calling her (or anyone else ) is not an option. I will be seeing her on Monday afternoon and I'm wondering what's going to happen. Will she ask about my call or just let it go and see if I say anything. I don't know. I feel bad that I wasn't able to be clear. Oh well, this isn't the first time I've screwed up.
 

PassinTime

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From this experience I have learned that if I can't explain what it is that is going on then calling her (or anyone else ) is not an option. I will be seeing her on Monday afternoon and I'm wondering what's going to happen. Will she ask about my call or just let it go and see if I say anything. I don't know. I feel bad that I wasn't able to be clear. Oh well, this isn't the first time I've screwed up.
Maybe have a written note or 2 handy to help ensure you clearly say what you are feeling or thinking. You need and deserve to be heard, but sometimes the depression garbles things up.
 

band_rules16

Former Photo Great/Oh No I've Sold My Soul Again
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
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My depression's been hitting me super hard the last couple of weeks. It's made getting schoolwork done impossible. Target has called me to come in a few times, and I just have no motivation to go in, even though I need the money, so I don't call back. I don't want to be at home and I don't want to be on campus, and visiting my family is a drag, so I feel like I'm in this constant whirlwind of hating everything right now.
 

band_rules16

Former Photo Great/Oh No I've Sold My Soul Again
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
410
Sometimes you need to not listen to your depression, and basically do the opposite of what it's telling you to do.
Lately it's just been winning, motivation wise. I can usually pull myself out of it, but I haven't been able to lately. I feel bad that Target calls and I don't call them back mostly.
 

Marcellow

No and that’s final
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Apr 5, 2017
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Been depressed because my crush from work (which was mutual) rejected me - saying let’s just be friends. We went on a date months ago and haven’t done anything since though I tried scheduling something and he kept saying I’m busy and shit. Heard through the grapevine that he’s seeing someone else, which hurt despite not being surprising. Fuck conflicts of interest.

Went on a date last night and it was magical, the guy treated me like a princess and he was super cute, sent me a poem after our first date. Never felt that way before and now that the other guy is moving to a different department so I’ll be able to get over him even faster and really give this new guy a shot. The universe is working in my favor and I’m here for it.
 
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