Anyone here deal with mental illness?

Tessa120

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Suicide. An old stigma. Don’t expect coverage soon
"Weak." "Took the coward's way out." "I'm angry that she would do that to us." "Selfish." "He didn't care about us, about what it would do to us."

Yeah. I'm glad I don't know anyone who's lost someone to suicide. If I were to hear those things said to my ear I'd lose all consideration to their grief and rip them a new one.
 

TTGOz

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I had a friend kill himself the weekend before second semester started in the 11th grade. That's how I figured out it was a problem that extended past "they didn't care about the pain they'd cause us" and the simple truth is; maybe it is that simple, but I understand it because when all you feel is pain, the weight of the world burdening down on you, all of the angel/devil voices on your shoulders... you just want it to stop.

I've often caught myself thinking "god, I wouldn't feel this way if I just died." and I realize it's so bad to tell yourself that because while I wouldn't ever kill myself, there's a certain peace I find inside of the thought of not having responsibilities, bills to pay, a job to get to, dishes to clean, etc if I were just dead. That's not right, I should be scared of the thought. Yes, if I killed myself I wouldn't have to do those things, I might not have to suffer through heart disease, cancer, terminal illnesses. I wouldn't have anxiety any more, but I wouldn't be ME... I'd be dead. I wouldn't have the meaningful and rewarding social relationships with humans anymore. I wouldn't be able to see the sun rise and set ever again. I wouldn't be able to take a breath ever again.

There needs to be something done on a societal scale that would appease one of the top countries citizens who suffer. 40 million people where only 36% receive treatment for anxiety and depression in the US alone. What can we do to get that number up to 100%? What can be done to bring relief to these folks that are suffering silently? One issue that could fix this is a more universal or socialized healthcare. At least a more affordable healthcare. Insurance companies are the absolute bane of our existence when we pay them hundreds of dollars a month and they won't cover shit until you reach your deductible... AND EVEN THEN THEY STILL WONT COVER 100% OF ALL THE COSTS. I've gotten into the mindset of if I ever get hurt, I better be severely fucked to the point where my $20,000 hospital bill is only $2000 + 20% of the total cost. I'd much rather pay only $6000 than $20,000, but the fact we can go broke trying to take care of ourselves is wrong.

healthcare is a right, not a privilege. Mental healthcare should be 100% more accessible and affordable, and so should every other sector of healthcare. I don't know if anyone else's insurance is that way, but the way my dad explained our health insurance was "You have to get to $2000 in bills to get to 80% coverage of all costs." and I realize insurance will also partly cover some payment regardless but I always found it's not enough and if I ever need dental work done or anything I'm gonna be pinching pennies more than usual.
 

Tessa120

I escaped the asylum!
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I don't get what the bulk of the US' obsession is with universal health care bad, current system too repressive, old way of insurance good.

I read an article about a month or so ago, there are European countries that have private health insurance companies. The people there don't get surprise bills. They don't have to worry about if someone takes their insurance or not. They can't understand why we in the US have no idea what our end total is after a medical visit is done. Spending a few nights in a hospital would be about $100 out of pocket to people in those countries. They managed it because the governments of those countries mandated that all medical providers take all insurance, one or two countries allow doctors to not take insurance but it's all or nothing and every fee must be posted in the waiting area, and the governments have laws about how much each medical procedure/visit can cost maximum, and it's a LOT smaller of an amount than we get charged here in the US.

I read a very sad article, just last week, a woman without insurance wasn't sure if her daughter had swallowed some medication or not. If she took her daughter in, it would be a couple thousand, if not more, for activated charcoal and monitoring. If she didn't take her daughter in and the daughter had taken the pills, she could have seizures and die. They were already struggling with daily living expenses because she had to go in for a possibly broken wrist a month before and they had that huge bill. She couldn't afford insurance, and she made just a tad too much for Medicaid to cover her daughter, and that state was one that refused the expanded Medicaid that would have given her daughter coverage. She ended up buying activated charcoal OTC, giving it to her daughter and then sitting in the car outside the ER for a few hours until it was pretty clear that her daughter was in no danger. That's a horrible choice as a parent to make. Do you take no chances, walk into the ER, and struggle with buying food and paying rent to keep that child with a fully belly and a bed? Or do you risk that she did swallow some pills and put off going in until she got enough in her blood stream that she's having seizures?

But veering back to the mental health side of things, universal health care will help a lot, but it won't be enough to have all US citizens treated. There's another huge barrier to comprehensive mental health treatment, and that is parental rights.



Warning: This is a very hot topic for me, I'm probably going to cross the thin line into angry ranting.



It's now recognized that many different types of mental illness manifest in tween/teen years. The old thinking, that things like bipolar disorder, major depression, schizophrenia, severe anxiety, old thinking is those were all adult onset. Kids were just moody, angst was normal, they'd grow out of it. Now it's pretty well recognized that "moody" taken to extreme is actually early onset, and sometimes the symptoms display differently than when someone is older.

However far too many assholes of a parent claim that it's just how teens are. Then when the kid has a few years of untreated mental illness and finally turns 18 and things are getting worse, those same assholes wring their hands and say "There were absolutely no symptoms until after he turned 18! We can't do anything because he's an adult!" Sure, mental illness switches on with the birthday candles. Meanwhile the classmates and teachers are there saying "Oh there was something not quite right in his head all through high school."

And that is a HUGE problem when it comes to treatment. The longer mental illness is left untreated, the harder it's going to be to get it under control. The longer the person lives with disordered thinking, the harder it's going to be to accept that the thinking is wrong and medical intervention is needed to think neurotypically. And of course the whole unspoken message the parents gave, that there's something shameful and wrong about openly dealing with whatever is causing the disordered thinking, that has the one-two punch of the person internalizing that message and the resulting lack of emotional and practical support when the person does become brave enough or feeling bad enough to seek help.

If a kid broke his arm and the parents didn't take him to the doctor, the parents could be nailed for child neglect from neglecting the child's medical needs. Parents have been put in jail when the kid has a serious illness like cancer and the parents refuse to treat. Even religious exemption has been yanked away if the child is seriously ill, or if the child died of something commonly treated, like the girl that died of diabetes and her parents were jailed even though they were Christian Scientists. But when the problem is the brain is ill, and not in a "in your face" way like seizures, parents seem to get a free pass when it comes to medical neglect.

They get a free pass, they can ignore their child's suffering, they can actively impede the child trying to seek treatment, and oh fucking well. The kid has to suck it up until he or she turns 18, and then struggle to figure out that how they feel is not normal, that they aren't just bad kids, that they aren't just making drama, how they feel is part of a defined illness, that they are part of a group and not all alone in the world, and that they can be treated. And then struggle some more to figure out how to fund treatment, how to navigate the medical landscape. And that's just all sorts of wrong. It should be a crime. It should be criminal charges of child neglect. It should be court monitoring of getting the kid adequate treatment. Just like they do for kids who are seriously ill with things that can be seen, things that can show up in a blood test.

Universal health care, and mandated treatment of mentally ill children. If you can treat the kids when they are young, they don't grow up with years of maladaptive thinking and a sense of shame over how their brain works. Treatment will be easier, the value of early intervention applies to all chronic conditions. Give it a few years, adults are healthier because those kids grew up as healthy as they could with a treated chronic condition.

And for all those who freak over normal kids being misidentified and medicated, what is worse? A kid undergoing a psych eval and a few rounds with a therapist or doctor to figure out if the scary symptoms are just teenage angst or something darker? Or sticking with the average time of 6 years between misdiagnosis and proper diagnosis before someone with bipolar disorder is properly identified....with the clock not starting after psychiatric help is sought, rather than when symptoms start? Medicine, yeah, that's worth considering.....but most parents have zero issue with demanding antibiotics for a virus or letting their 13 year old take PeptoBismol for diarrhea. What's the greater harm, over treatment for a few months, or no treatment for years?
 

Tessa120

I escaped the asylum!
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I hate my current doctor's practice. I've only seen him once, but I could get along with him, but his staff is ruining it. However I do need medical coverage until August with my new new provider so I can't rock the boat but so much.

But not rocking the boat doesn't mean being a doormat. I've got a letter to the office manager going, I'll cc the doctor, just trying to figure out how to phrase it to where I don't sound like a hysterical, mentally ill nutcase.
 

Aredhel

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^Some of those parents don’t recognize their children’s symptoms because they themselves had them and it was dismissed. Some families have a sustainable business and family system that keeps abuse, substance abuse and a nasty menu of other things going through the generations. There are big wars and little ones to fight. To speak to outsiders is considered such a taboo that breaching means exclusion permanently. There are big wars and little ones to fight. Be thoughtful. Be compassionate. And know the hill you wanna die on. Sorry if it’s tmi.
 

pellinore

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I'm not very sure of where things are going right now. I'm in the process of changing counselors. I see my first counselor for the last time on May 29. There will have been three weeks between my previous visit and my final visit. I still can't get past thinking of this and not crying. I'm feeling like I'm about to be put out on my own. I am and I am not. My first counselor has made a change in her life which is probably a better situation than she is leaving. I am happy for her and hope that she is quite happy in her new role. I'm just wishing that this wasn't so hard for me to deal with.

I've already met with my new counselor and my next two appointments are June 5 and 25. This is going to be difficult. I don't know how I am supposed to adjust to things when my appointments are so far apart. While I have told my psychiatrist and my new counselor that I'll try things out to see if it works for me. However, by the time I have had a chance to see him a couple of times it is going to be the end of June and by that time a lot of time will be lost. So, I am actually starting to consider stopping my counselling. If I stop my counselling I will still have my day group therapy once a week and I'm thinking that this might be enough. Some of the things that I was hoping to work on aren't that important and I think that all will be fine. Since my Effexor seems to be working now (and hopefully continues to work) my thinking is somewhat different and is quiet enough that I'm not having self-harming thoughts like I was before and all the darkest of thoughts seem to have gone away too. So why should I even consider continuing with a counselor? Does it matter if I continue?

I will be seeing my PCP in about two weeks and I'm hoping that she'll agree or at least understand why I'm making the choice to stop. I think that the worst of my difficult times are over and that I will be able to move forward on my own.
 

Times Up

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However, by the time I have had a chance to see him a couple of times it is going to be the end of June and by that time a lot of time will be lost.
I feel sad and scared about that. It seems to me that alot more will be lost if you do stop.
 

can't touch this

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If a kid broke his arm and the parents didn't take him to the doctor, the parents could be nailed for child neglect from neglecting the child's medical needs. Parents have been put in jail when the kid has a serious illness like cancer and the parents refuse to treat. Even religious exemption has been yanked away if the child is seriously ill, or if the child died of something commonly treated, like the girl that died of diabetes and her parents were jailed even though they were Christian Scientists. But when the problem is the brain is ill, and not in a "in your face" way like seizures, parents seem to get a free pass when it comes to medical neglect.
My mom used to have a friend who was deep into one of those pseudo-Christian "no doctors" cults. Said friend's daughter was friends with my sister and got sick while she was spending the weekend at my family's place while her parents were out of town. My mom took her temperature and she had a fever of 105. Presented at the ER with slurred speech and hallucinations. Her fever climbed to 106 and she was in a coma for a couple of hours. The hospital kept her for several days. She recovered, but her parents were so pissed at my mom that they started shunning her and wouldn't let their daughter be friends with my sister anymore. Needless to say my mom was beside herself with fury and she occasionally ranted about it for years afterwards. To put it all into perspective, my mom is a Christian fundie herself and was very involved in the anti-abortion protest scene in the 90s, even handing out pamphlets in front of abortion clinics and trying to talk all these women into going to the women's shelter run by a friend of hers. "THE BIBLE DOESN'T SAY THAT DOCTORS ARE BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN?!?!?!?!"

Yikes.
 

band_rules16

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I feel like some parents are still in the stigma of mental illness, too. Mine are fairly supportive, but I know when I told my dad my diagnosis, he didn't think it was a real thing. Both of them think it's "something to get over". I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 12, but it took almost 20 years for me to finally officially figure that out. I feel like they never noticed or glossed it over. This year I have been at my lowest depression wise and they never said a thing. I'd sleep late or stow myself away in a bedroom to not talk to anyone at their place and nothing was ever said.

My sister is getting help for her anxiety and I know my brother has been prone to panic attacks. I just feel like it's still taboo in my family though. I've become more open about my issues but still can't discuss it with my parents. I'm going to have a hard enough time telling them I'm moving again and that I'm taking a leave of absence from my graduate program (due to my mental health).

Maybe someday it will change.
 

Tessa120

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You've all touched on the problem though. It's 100% the choice of the parents to decide if it should be treated. In your posts substitute "pneumonia" "diabetes" "thyroid" "cancer". Yes, the last is appropriate since mental illness often leads to death. Would it be alright to keep it as a parent's choice? Or should effective treatment be law, with mandated reporters able to get the authorities in to make sure treatment is pursued?
 

Aredhel

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My mom used to have a friend who was deep into one of those pseudo-Christian "no doctors" cults. Said friend's daughter was friends with my sister and got sick while she was spending the weekend at my family's place while her parents were out of town. My mom took her temperature and she had a fever of 105. Presented at the ER with slurred speech and hallucinations. Her fever climbed to 106 and she was in a coma for a couple of hours. The hospital kept her for several days. She recovered, but her parents were so pissed at my mom that they started shunning her and wouldn't let their daughter be friends with my sister anymore. Needless to say my mom was beside herself with fury and she occasionally ranted about it for years afterwards. To put it all into perspective, my mom is a Christian fundie herself and was very involved in the anti-abortion protest scene in the 90s, even handing out pamphlets in front of abortion clinics and trying to talk all these women into going to the women's shelter run by a friend of hers. "THE BIBLE DOESN'T SAY THAT DOCTORS ARE BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN?!?!?!?!"

Yikes.
Luke was probably a doctor. He seemed to have credibility...
 

can't touch this

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Luke was probably a doctor. He seemed to have credibility...
If I ever get a time machine I'm going to bring a fuckload of all the spectrum antibiotics and vaccines and give them to this guy and watch him rake in those shekels by being the only doctor in the "world" who can cure anthrax lesions and rabies and leprosy and malaria. Those people were already aware that copper keeps pipes from going slimy and beverages from going sour, now imagine showing them germs and explaining the reason why their bronze vessels keep things fresh. Or... someone else can do that while I overthrow Caesar and take his place
 

Tessa120

I escaped the asylum!
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I might not fire my doctor after all. Getting the next follow up appointment was smooth, as in every appointment time was available for the day I wanted. Not like before where getting an appointment in a timely manner was near impossible. I told him what the receptionist did, and he asked questions to figure out which one and I truly believe he's going to deal with her lies. I complained about the unnecessary blood tests that I didn't realize I was getting; the first provider I saw filled out the lab order and he had said the other time I saw him that it would work instead of writing a new one, neither of us looked at it carefully at the time. When I said the unnecessary tests cost me $43 out of pocket, he looked really surprised and he genuinely understood that $43 is a lot when you don't make a lot, and he did not say anything in support of those tests having been done.

I have until August to decide. We'll see how the next appointment turns out.
 

band_rules16

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Are you seeing a doctor?
It's been a mess since December 2018. I got diagnosed, got meds, and was trying to find a counselor where I was living. Then I started dating someone and was juggling that and my work schedule, so I thought I didn't need the meds OR the counselor. That ended (horribly) and I moved to a different city for grad school. Saw an on campus counselor for three months, thought I was getting somewhere, and stopped going. Then spring semester got worse and I'm leaving school now. I'm hoping once I'm moved and have a full time job I'll be able to do something more. Maybe I do need the meds after all, but I'm not sure how they'll help a broken heart. I'd also love to have a dog and maybe that would help, but it will depend on where I end up.

I'm sorry your family isn't able to acknowledge your feelings and behavior.
Thanks. Unfortunately, it's been life in our house growing up. Don't talk about issues. Don't talk about money. Everything is fine (as the flames get bigger). For example, when I got dumped, my mom gave me 20 minutes to talk about it the next day and that's been it. If I even as much mentioned my ex after that, she changed the subject to the weather.

I keep hoping things will get better, but it's getting more and more difficult.
 

TTGOz

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It's been a mess since December 2018. I got diagnosed, got meds, and was trying to find a counselor where I was living. Then I started dating someone and was juggling that and my work schedule, so I thought I didn't need the meds OR the counselor. That ended (horribly) and I moved to a different city for grad school. Saw an on campus counselor for three months, thought I was getting somewhere, and stopped going. Then spring semester got worse and I'm leaving school now. I'm hoping once I'm moved and have a full time job I'll be able to do something more. Maybe I do need the meds after all, but I'm not sure how they'll help a broken heart. I'd also love to have a dog and maybe that would help, but it will depend on where I end up.



Thanks. Unfortunately, it's been life in our house growing up. Don't talk about issues. Don't talk about money. Everything is fine (as the flames get bigger). For example, when I got dumped, my mom gave me 20 minutes to talk about it the next day and that's been it. If I even as much mentioned my ex after that, she changed the subject to the weather.

I keep hoping things will get better, but it's getting more and more difficult.
One thing that helps a broken heart is doing you. Biding your time, and finding friends, a new hobby, and once you move on or potentially meet someone awesome.. y'know. I know it's easier said than done but I spend most of my depressed times playing the hell out of a guitar, working out my anger(strength training), talking to friends on here, venting on this topic, cleaning my car, cleaning someone else's car for money, stuff like that.. it's helped. I've been eating like shit lately and haven't been working out so I'm hoping I can pick that up again. I just moved 40 minutes from my gym so need to cancel that and get a new one in my new town.
 
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I have BPD, GAD, and OCD. All of my mental disorders are getting increasingly harder to manage at Target; my OCD alone is triggered nearly hourly by abandons/inefficiency/fifoing/zoning. Even with the company-wide raise I still can't afford medication or therapy, and I don't trust Target's free counseling. Almost all of my current problems are Target-based, so I don't want to go unload on a Target-sponsored councilor. Therefore, I try very hard to manage my mental health on my own.

I've found that eating better, getting enough sleep, and utilizing my support system really do help. I also try calm breathing and quiet time, which help a little. Mostly I work on my thinking, which my family and friends are great for. As much as I hate my job, I'm not suicidal like I was at my last job.

I'm doing much better than I could be, and that's a comfort.
 

Tessa120

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I have BPD, GAD, and OCD. All of my mental disorders are getting increasingly harder to manage at Target; my OCD alone is triggered nearly hourly by abandons/inefficiency/fifoing/zoning. Even with the company-wide raise I still can't afford medication or therapy, and I don't trust Target's free counseling. Almost all of my current problems are Target-based, so I don't want to go unload on a Target-sponsored councilor. Therefore, I try very hard to manage my mental health on my own.
That's not how it works. I don't remember the phone number or department, but you talk to a person about what's bothering you (and you can fudge and change names, they won't know) and if you are in need of counseling they will give you a list of private practice providers in your area and pay for 5 visits. If you have insurance the list is helpful because you can pick someone who does take your insurance to pay for trip #6 on forward. Justifying it was easy, I had barely gone through half of my issues before it was approved. However the 3 providers on the list never called me back to set up an appointment so I can't attest to the actual visits.
 

Amanda Cantwell

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I have BPD, GAD, and OCD. All of my mental disorders are getting increasingly harder to manage at Target; my OCD alone is triggered nearly hourly by abandons/inefficiency/fifoing/zoning. Even with the company-wide raise I still can't afford medication or therapy, and I don't trust Target's free counseling. Almost all of my current problems are Target-based, so I don't want to go unload on a Target-sponsored councilor. Therefore, I try very hard to manage my mental health on my own.

I've found that eating better, getting enough sleep, and utilizing my support system really do help. I also try calm breathing and quiet time, which help a little. Mostly I work on my thinking, which my family and friends are great for. As much as I hate my job, I'm not suicidal like I was at my last job.

I'm doing much better than I could be, and that's a comfort.
As Tessa said— the counselors are target insurance approved but are NOT affiliated with target in any way. Everything is 100% confidential— if it wasn’t, it would be illegal (violation of HIPAA)
 
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That's not how it works. I don't remember the phone number or department, but you talk to a person about what's bothering you (and you can fudge and change names, they won't know) and if you are in need of counseling they will give you a list of private practice providers in your area and pay for 5 visits. If you have insurance the list is helpful because you can pick someone who does take your insurance to pay for trip #6 on forward. Justifying it was easy, I had barely gone through half of my issues before it was approved. However the 3 providers on the list never called me back to set up an appointment so I can't attest to the actual visits.
I didn't know that! My Leader gave me the number but they didn't explain the process, so I assumed the worst (cognitive distortions, am I right?) I might have to take advantage of the counseling, then. At the very least I can get some of my rage off of my chest and hopefully learn some better coping skills. I'm so tired of being miserable all of the time, even for valid reasons. Thank you so much for the clarification!
 
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