- Jun 10, 2011
I was supposed to do this during this school year. I tried. Last time I got dumped I was in undergrad and I threw myself into school and activities, and I was at my dream college. My friends were great and my profs were great. I had that awe feeling walking into performances constantly..."I get to do this." I loved it. But this year with grad? It was a huge failure. I was basically condemned for having personal issues. I hated everything I was a part of. I've been rejected by guys before, but this was completely devastating. It's the worst my depression has ever been and it's not going away. I don't think I'll ever know the real reason why he left, but now it's left me traumatized for any future relationships. Anyone could just pick up and leave like that.One thing that helps a broken heart is doing you. Biding your time, and finding friends, a new hobby, and once you move on or potentially meet someone awesome.. y'know. I know it's easier said than done but I spend most of my depressed times playing the hell out of a guitar, working out my anger(strength training), talking to friends on here, venting on this topic, cleaning my car, cleaning someone else's car for money, stuff like that.. it's helped. I've been eating like shit lately and haven't been working out so I'm hoping I can pick that up again. I just moved 40 minutes from my gym so need to cancel that and get a new one in my new town.
The plan is once I move for my next job, I'll be getting a counselor there and finding some things I actually WANT to do. I just want to put all of this past me. I just have to last until August 10 or so. (I'm trying to quit before back to school but also...the discount...)
I was told to call the resource number through Target too...I just don't because I hate calling people. But maybe I'll get pushed to my limit there too.