Archived Do you carry.....?

[doxiemama]

My favorite is the guest who calls in and says "Do you carry __________?"
No, we don't.
Are you sure?
Yes, I am sure.
Could you check for me anyway?
<Checks My Device>
Nope, we don't carry it.
Could you ask your manager?
I could, but honestly - we don't carry it.
What's your name? I'm coming over there to look for myself and if I find it I'm reporting you to your manager!
That's your choice, madam, but you'd be wasting your time making the drive.
We'll see about that <hangs up in a huff>.

 

[redeye58]

"...common sense? Nope, all out. Sorry-not sorry."

 

[Zone]

You forgot to include "But my friend bought it here the other day!"

 

[Redzee]

"I know it's here." I know it's not, it's not on the floor, in the back, or at the three nearest Target stores. There's a Monty Python riff waiting to be born.

 

[redeye58]

There's a Monty Python riff waiting to be born.

In John Cleese's voice, no less.

 

[NoRedCards]

The store next door sells it, so I assumed you would......

Heard that one a lot.....

 

[3LetterDevil]

Whenever we get a call like this in pharmacy, I can almost guarantee it's going to be something they saw on Dr. Oz.

 

[redeye58]

"Suuuuuuuuure, we carry that! On the shelf right next to the eye of newt & behind the frog toes!"

 

[commiecorvus]

Whenever we get a call like this in pharmacy, I can almost guarantee it's going to be something they saw on Dr. Oz.

EEEVIL!

 

[signingminion]

It's next to the ammonia. And seasonally the cranberry sauce....

 

[DoWork]

I love the ones that say they had purchased the item here before. Fucking liar.

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

It's next to the ammonia. And seasonally the cranberry sauce....

We have the ammonia with lemon.

 

[Westcoast7]

"Its OKAY, I'll stop by Walmart then" as if what they just said made me bleed target-red. I don't give two shits about Walmart, and quite frankly I'd rather you be there then here. Just saying. Cut me deep

 

[dannyy315]

Yep, it's happened to me before. An old woman called once asking if we had a board game and when I told her no, I heard her say to her husband "this guy doesn't know what's he's talking about". She requested to speak to a manager and he gave her the same, difficult news.

 

[dannyy315]

You forgot to include "But my friend bought it here the other day!"

And "but it said you had it online!"

 

[TallAPGuy]

We had a team member ask, over the walkie, if we sold lawn mowers. Not a brand new team member, but a Hardlines TM who's worked for about two months. I suppose she could have been humoring a guest, but I really wanted to reply "No, we're Target, not Sears. We don't sell lawn mowers." I just shook my head and let another TM reply.

 

[signingminion]

We have the ammonia with lemon.

We haven't carried it in two years or longer.

 

[lovecats]

"I know it's here." I know it's not, it's not on the floor, in the back, or at the three nearest Target stores. There's a Monty Python riff waiting to be born.

Actually, I was thinking more like Dr Seuss.

 

[redeye58]

It's not in the back; it's not on the floor.
I doubt that you'll find it at another Target store.
Why won't you listen? No label or bin.
We don't have it 'cause it's NEVER COMIN' IN!!!!

 

[mrknownothing]

We have the ammonia with lemon.

We haven't carried it in two years or longer.

We still have it too. Up&Up brand, bottom shelf of the 4-ft section containing Pine-Sol and Mr. Clean.

Also, for what it's worth, the glass cleaner contains ammonia.

 

[redeye58]

Ammonia is good for scorpion stings.
Yeh, I did find that out the hard way....

 

[mrknownothing]

Ammonia is good for scorpion stings.
Yeh, I did find that out the hard way....

I'm glad we don't have those little bastards up here. The yellow jackets are bad enough.

 

[redeye58]

Working at my cousin's farm one summer I got stings from a scorpion, a few yellow jackets, fire ants & bull nettle in one day.
The scorpion was because I forgot to shake out my boots first, the yellow jackets were in the hayloft, fire ants were next to the water trough & the bull nettle was in the pasture I went through to halter a horse.
Fun times.

 

[mrknownothing]

Working at my cousin's farm one summer I got stings from a scorpion, a few yellow jackets, fire ants & bull nettle in one day.
The scorpion was because I forgot to shake out my boots first, the yellow jackets were in the hayloft, fire ants were next to the water trough & the bull nettle was in the pasture I went through to halter a horse.
Fun times.

Wow. The only reason I've survived southern vacations is because I always stay inside in the AC.

 

[Loki]

When I worked at Target and someone walked up to me and fed me some bullshit about a product we never carried no matter how much they said we did or shit I've never even heard of I would just turn into Jonny Lee Miller's version of Sherlock Holmes and go...