Archived My sarcasm really hurt a GSTL

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tomthy

tomthy

Cart Wrestler
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Oct 31, 2015
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I'm a cart attendant. I have really bad sarcasm. If you were to see me around my friends outside of work you'd probably think I hated them, but this is just how we are. Working for 10 months at Target now I've anyways tried to keep my insulting sarcasm extremely low, but today it broke.

This one GSTL is commonly complained about a little bit, nothing big, just average retail stuff. I actually like her more than most, she generally speaking understands my sarcasm and doesn't take it seriously.

But tonight when we were fake arguing about something another co-worker was taking to me. Both were trying to get my attention and I turned to the GSTL and said, "hold on, I'm taking to someone I actually like".

We " argued " (sarcastically)a bit more before I left. Then another co-worker texted me saying that I really hurt her feelings. I'm going to go apologize tomorrow morning if she's there, but in the mean time I can't help but fall apart inside. Not because I'm scared I'll lose my job (I would be very sad if I did though), but because there last thing I ever want to do is hurt someone. Even if I don't always get along with them.

Target is very special for me because the people there are kinda my life support, they're the only reason I'm actually doing well in life. So yes I don't want to lose my job, but more importantly I don't want to seem like I don't care about the people there.

So what should I do? I'm gonna apologize, but should I let HR know that I recognized my mistake. I'm like that a lot, if I mess up I tell people I'm willing to pay the price, not because "I'm strong and cool", buy because no one should ever be hurt because of me. What to do?
 
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Apologize & acknowledged your mistake to your gstl for starters. You might be taken in office & given a "chat" about your comments. Guests might of complain or observed about your comments with them too.
I would keep a low profile as a cooling period for your gstl & keep your sarcasm comments to yourself when you are around them.
 
Apologize. I'm sure it'll turn out to be a positive experience for your guys' working relationship.
 
I did this once...apparently I totally triggered something in an acquaintance who had issues of constantly feeling left out as a kid and I made a joke like "no one likes you anyways!" ...I NEVER would've said it had it been even remotely true. My tone was 100% joking...and yet she literally went running off into a bathroom, was gone for 5+min, came back and would barely even acknowledge me.

That screwed me up. I apologized, but she just kind of ignored me. It was really, really awkward. We were never super close, but things were never really the same after that. I always felt guilty and angry- why couldn't this person just take a freaking joke??? why was I such a fuck-up??? ...it was a weird mixture of feelings.

Point being: don't beat yourself up, but definitely apologize. I would only mention it to a third party if things get really tense or you think it could cause an issue with your working relationship.
 
There are two languages in your life, your neutral social language that you use with the general public and your personal that you use with those close with you. Apologize and just stick to neutral with them. I'm pretty caustic with my sarcasm and some of the lessons in life is that you just can't talk to some people like that, ever. It's not their job to adapt to that, and it's certainly not yours to change who you are and how you feel to match theirs. So you stick to a polite language to convey ideas between the two of you and move on with your lives.

As far punishment, assuming your ETLs aren't insane, it'll just be a coaching. Suck it up, and chalk it up to a learning experience.
 
What I would do in this situation is after clocking in and before doing anything else just go up to her and say "Hey, do you mind if I talk to you in private?" Go somewhere no one can really hear and just go with something "So you know that one day I said this comment? I hope you know that I was just joking around. I don't want you to think that I don't like you since you're actually one of my favorite people here. If I did offend you though, in anyway, I apologize." Either way I'm sure she would appreciate it since it'll show that you actually care. Just tell her what you told us and I'm sure everything will just work out.

Best of luck and keep us updated. Or not, up to you. Hahaha.
 
All great advice,a good apology soon should fix it,those of us who are prone to use sarcasm walk a very fine line and can turn a joke into an arrow to the heart very quickly especially when dealing with some one who is already hurting.No need to have any dealings with hr unless some one else starts it,they do not like problems or what they deem to be problem people and things can take an unexpected turn if they are involved.Do what you need to and good luck.
 
Just apologize, and make sure you are sincere. Also watch what you say for awhile and just do your job.
 
One of my LOD's has a sarcastic sense of humor, I do too but he didn't know that. He said something to me and I knew he was just joking and didn't think twice about it. A few days later he came up to me and said he needed to apologize and how bad he felt. I was totally confused why. He explained he felt really bad about the comment he made and that he was just joking. I told him know that I wasn't offended at all by the comment at all and all was well again in his world.
I would apologize to the GSTL, no gift needed.
 
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