Remember to lock your doors, folks.

Joined
Nov 26, 2011
Messages
228
#1
Sorry if this seems a bit late, but this could always happen any time of the year.

I went to my local mall the other night and spotted someone weaving between cars in the garage checking handles for unlocked cars. He had a fairly big stack of CDs when I had spotted him.

Also, be aware of your surroundings. Someone who may or may not have been an accomplice of his seemed to enjoy playing Whack-a-mole by zipping out of his own parking space when another car would approach in hopes of getting t-boned.
 

pzychopopgroove

cyberpunk//my little pony
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
1,655
#2
With the car bit I smell someone fishing for a lawsuit and money.

With the bit about the guy zippin through checking for unlocked car handles, someone should've handled that with a 12g loaded with birdshot ;)
 

talan123

Team Member/Troll
Joined
Jun 16, 2011
Messages
652
#4
I prefer to deal with criminals my own way.

"Really? You are robbing me in the middle of the night? Don't you think that somebody much more dangerous than you is coming through here? Statistically speaking..."
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
18,099
#5
A burglar had broken into a house & was starting to go through the dining room, picking up pieces of heirloom silver. Suddenly, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
He paused momentarily, listened, then resumed his looting.
He heard the voice again: "Jesus is watching you."
He snapped on a flashlight in the direction of the voice, shining it on a parrot. The parrot repeated the phrase, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar approached the parrot. "So you can talk, huh?"
"Yes," the parrot replied.
"What's your name, bird?"
"Moses," he replied.
The burglar snickered. "What kinda owner names a parrot 'Moses'?"
The parrot said, "The same one who'd name a rotweiller Jesus."
 

mrknownothing

purveyor of things
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
10,151
#6
A burglar had broken into a house & was starting to go through the dining room, picking up pieces of heirloom silver. Suddenly, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
He paused momentarily, listened, then resumed his looting.
He heard the voice again: "Jesus is watching you."
He snapped on a flashlight in the direction of the voice, shining it on a parrot. The parrot repeated the phrase, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar approached the parrot. "So you can talk, huh?"
"Yes," the parrot replied.
"What's your name, bird?"
"Moses," he replied.
The burglar snickered. "What kinda owner names a parrot 'Moses'?"
The parrot said, "The same one who'd name a rotweiller Jesus."
:rofl:
 

commiecorvus

Former Signing Ninja
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
15,954
#7
Then there is the story of the pacifist Quaker who finds a thug breaking into his home and announces,
"Friend, I would not hurt thee for the world, but thee is stand where I am about to shoot."
 
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