Archived sexual harassment??

[beachypeachy]

so tonight at work a sketchy guy came through my line and said some things to me that made me super uncomfortable
he had to be at least 50 years old, i am only 16.
i didnt tell anyone at my store and when i told my mom at home she yelled at me and said i should have told someone
he didnt directly threaten me he just said things that made me uncomfortable i wont write what he said because i dont want to
but i was wondering if i really should have told someone? what could they have done i mean he didnt threaten me. i will summarize what he said to me if someone asks me to.
i just didnt want to make a mountain out of an ant hill or whatever that saying is
thankksss

 

[jayray]

You need to tell whoever your LOD was tonight. Your mom is right.

 

[BlueSide]

If you can't even type it on the internet, it must've been bad.

 

[Xanatos]

They could've told him it's inappropriate, kicked him out, maybe banned him from the store, etc.

I've seen an older guest take a liking to a 16 year old cashier before. She was uncomfortable with him but he never really did anything, so we pulled her off the floor anytime he was shopping because he would always go through her lane. Looking back on it, they should have actually spoken to the guest, but maybe they were afraid that it wouldn't be pretty if they did, and he wasn't physically harming (or threatening to harm) anyone. Just awkward and uncomfortable.

 

[beachypeachy]

You need to tell whoever your LOD was tonight. Your mom is right.

What will they do about it?

 

[Xanatos]

What will they do about it?

Their actions could range anywhere from doing nothing to calling the police.

 

[beachypeachy]

Ok well he basically complimented every feature on me in a creepy way like "sexy" and "hot"
and it ended with him saying he was imagining biting my ears
Idk it doest seem so bad but It was so disturbing and I was completed freaked out considering he was MUCH older
what 50 or older year man in his right mind thinks its okay to talk to a 16 year old girl like that?? I dont understand

 

[jayray]

They can at least be on the alert for the guy in case he comes back in. He could be perfectly harmless and just classless or a pervert with serious intentions. Either way, his behavior is not acceptable towards anyone but especially a young girl. There needs to be a documented trail just in case.

Also, keep in mind that everything at Target is on camera. They can find what he looks like very easily so that they can look out for him when he comes back in the store.

Tell them ASAP.

 

[commiecorvus]

I know it feels weird to say something, to seem like you are making a big deal out of the situation, but here's the thing we all have instincts (that uncomfortable feeling you were getting) for a reason.
The guy triggered them in you by saying things and acting in a way that was out of line.

You need to report that shit.
Immediately if not sooner.

The LOD or AP isn't going to be upset at you.
They are going to be glad to know about the guy because the next time he starts creeping on a sixteen year old they can eject his ass from the store.

I have two daughters and I raised them to never stand down when that kind of shit happens.
Don't you take it.
You don't have to.
There is an entire store that will back you up.
Your mom is right and there is nothing wrong with reporting what he did and said.

I'm sorry if I sound like a Dad here but it's hard not to.
If something like that happens again, just say "You are making me very uncomfortable." and walk away.
Then go tell somebody.
You don't have to put up with that kind of behavior out of anyone.
Not ever.

 

[beachypeachy]

@commiecorvus Thank you for your reply
I know its pathetic but I have bad social anxiety and I dont do well sticking up for myself and speaking up...as bad as that is, I really try to. How do i talk to the Lod and whatdo I even say? Can i do it anonymously or through a letter or something Im just really uncomfortable talking to people especially in this situation.

 

[jayray]

You need to talk to the LOD in person. Have your mom go with you if you don't feel you can do it alone. You can NOT let this go unreported. By not telling your superiors you are might allow this to happen to someone else at your store. Also, people who start off saying the things he said tend to escalate. You need to tell your LOD tomorrow.

 

[commiecorvus]

I can understand that this is an uncomfortable situation for you.
You are not pathetic, this is not an uncommon problem and people like that scumbag recognize it, use it to their advantage.

Is there anyone at the store, a coworker, a TL, someone female or male, who you feel comfortable with and trust?
Someone you can talk to about this and who might be willing to go with you to see the LOD?
If not you can ask your mom.
If you could have a little moral support with someone who knows the story and who can fill in when you get too nervous it might help.

Also, I would go to the HR TL at this point if you can.
Mention the problem you have with social anxiety so they can understand the situation and why you choose to bring a friend for support.
This may seem difficult but it will go by fast and once you're done you will feel a lot better.

The world spins better when we have courage and strength but we can only have it when we stand together.

Edit: As to what you say -- Describe the man, what he said, the time, when it happened, if you'd seen him before, that kind of thing. Write it all down ahead of time so you don't forget.

 

[dannyy315]

Ok well he basically complimented every feature on me in a creepy way like "sexy" and "hot"
and it ended with him saying he was imagining biting my ears
Idk it doest seem so bad but It was so disturbing and I was completed freaked out considering he was MUCH older
what 50 or older year man in his right mind thinks its okay to talk to a 16 year old girl like that?? I dont understand

That does seem so bad, what a creep. I wish he was in jail just for saying those things out loud to you.

And I understand the social anxiety thing, I deal with it too. But you have to protect yourself when you feel threatened.

 

[GlitterBerries]

I'm in my late 20s and I had a guy that kept coming in around the holiday times and finding me in the store. He was in his 50s and saying creepy things too. I have social anxiety and don't like to make big deals out of things but I told my LOD and they saw him a few days later doing it to a younger girl as well and told him to leave if he's going to act like that with their staff. We haven't seen him since. Its awkward to tell someone but it's more awkward having to deal with it and it potentially getting worse. You never know if he's just doing it to be funny cause he thinks it's funny or is a sexual predator. You don't want it to escalate to where you feel uncomfortable going to work let alone going to and from your car. The sooner they know the better.

 

[Spike]

Is there anyone at the store, a coworker, a TL, someone female or male, who you feel comfortable with and trust?
Someone you can talk to about this and who might be willing to go with you to see the LOD?
If not you can ask your mom.
If you could have a little moral support with someone who knows the story and who can fill in when you get too nervous it might help.

This was going to be my suggestion. It doesn't have to be the LOD that was on duty that day. I wouldn't be 100% comfortable going to a few of mine in that situation, mostly because I would want to go to a female. Another ETL, your GSTL, or an HRTL, anyone you're comfortable with explaining the situation to. You're not supposed to feel creeped out in your workplace. You should be able to go to work and know you are safe. It may not seem like it was a big deal, but it brought you here to question if you should say anything. You never know what could happen.

 

[Guest]

Tell an ETL or TL and if they do nothing then sue Target.
I've never understood why grown men do that shit especially at a store. Just gross and inappropriate. They need to not perv in public and just watch porn or something or just kill themselves. The world would be a better place with them gone.

 

[RedDog]

Talk to your LOD or HR. Sadly you are not alone and this sort stuff happens all the time. Just tell them what happened and how it made you feel. At the very least if he comes in again they can keep an eye on him and keep him away from you. Do not worry your LOD has likely heard it all before.

 

[On6]

Report it immediately.

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Report it immediately even if you need to write it down. His behavior was clearly sexual harassment and AP needs to know to keep an eye out for that creep, because he sounds like a legit sexual predator from what you've said. I understand social anxiety (I had to face that to tell AP about a hot-wheels obsessed guy in his fifties or sixties who was stalking me around the store) but you will feel much better afterwards, I promise. The leadership will not brush this off. You have to say something, you gotta protect yourself.

 

[NPC]

Yep, pretty much what everyone else said. You want to make sure you tell AP or an LOD about this, because you're sort of vulnerable at work, and having a record of the behavior is good in case things ever get out of hand. If they make a pattern of stalking you and have continuous inappropriate behavior, AP can trespass them too I think.

When I used to work in Softlines, stuff like this would happen a lot. Managment always took it seriously. Once I had a guest sort of "stalk" me. I say "sort of" because I had no idea this was happening until he approached me once at work. He had been waiting for me at the jewelry counter where he greeted me. He didn't need help, so I just walked away and forgot about him. But then he followed me throughout mens and ready to wear (still not thinking much of it, I thought he was shopping). It wasn't until he approached me again that things got weird. He tried making it difficult for me to walk away, and tried to get me to tell him my schedule for the week. It was creepy, not flirty. I told another TM in softlines, and she told an LOD for me. I was new and too shy to know what to do. They took it seriously, I got to chill in the fitting room until he was gone. Anyway, the LODs never made me feel guilty for mentioning it. It actually became our "Summer Safety" tip for the huddle, to always report suspicious behavior.

 

[fx0007]

Reminded me of an ex-employee's youtube vid about a death threat they received, not the same thing but just saying not all targets give the best help.

 

[BoxCutter]

Ok well he basically complimented every feature on me in a creepy way like "sexy" and "hot"
and it ended with him saying he was imagining biting my ears

Just this should be all you need to tell the LOD, TL, or Executive. I don't believe anymore elaboration would be necessary. Tell a manager ASAP yourself, with a coworker you're comfortable with, or with your mother.

 

[DoWork]

Definitely tell anyone in a leadership position. People like that only get worse. They become more aggressive as they get away with it. It's no different than physical abuse, theft, and all the other fucked up things people are

 

[jadzia]

Reminded me of an ex-employee's youtube vid about a death threat they received, not the same thing but just saying not all targets give the best help.

I don't really understand how what they did wasn't helpful. It may have been over the top but it sounds like they had good intentions.

 

[HardlinesGuy]

You NEED report it. Talk to any ETL/LOD, preferably HR and/or Assets Protection.