Story Time!

Joined
Aug 16, 2011
Messages
1,826
#1
As you may have noticed, I love telling stories. Share your crazy true experiences here!

When I first got Comcast (in their hometown!) in 2008 the tech tried one box which didn't work. He went to his truck and tried another, which didn't work. Repeat two more times. When he finally left and everything was a-OK, I curiously tapped the My DVR button on the remote, which I didn't sign up for.

It was filled to the brim with such classics as "Sorority Sluts 2" and "MILFs after Dark." My Comcast service came with free hardcore porn. Being a gay male I had no use for it and just deleted it. I didn't complain to them either because the tech was nice. In fact it was at least 1 and a 1/2 years before they realized I actually had DVR service I was supposed to be paying $9.99 a month for and they sent me a letter basically saying "You don't have to pay for the months you had it but we're taking it away now." I believe it was justifiable compensation.
 

NPC

特別な目を開けるためにパトリックを殺す
Joined
May 23, 2015
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6,921
#2
I took many art classes throughout my teens. I had the opportunity during my Junior/Senior year of high school to take some "free" art courses at USC. The very first day, our instructor gave us an at-home assignment to make a drawing with our feet. I understood this as, "Okay, draw our feet. This must have something to do with Anatomy!" It seemed obvious to me, because it was a figure drawing class, and feet are complex. Made sense!

The next class, I come in with a beautiful drawing of my weird feet. I even used a toned paper, and sanguine chalks too. It looked pretty nice. However, as everyone pinned their drawings up for critique, I immediately notice that NO ONE else drew feet. They were all just random still-lives of things from around their house. I then ALSO noticed, that many of the drawings were quite sloppy. I knew this was odd, because it was a specialized course, therefore everyone there was a skillful artist.

It then dawns on me....that what my teacher meant when he said, "Draw a picture with your feet." He meant, "Literally." I was so embarrassed to be the only person to make this mistake. To make matters worse, our teacher didn't even make jokes about it at least. All I remember him saying was that "No one made that mistake before." DEATH! DEATH TO ME! I wanted to melt and then slither away down a drain. I was so embarrassed I have no idea what the point of that assignment even was, because I couldn't focused on the lecture. What a complete waste.

 

Kartman

MasterBlaster
Joined
Nov 20, 2014
Messages
7,954
#3
Mayday Call...

It was hurricane Bob, and I was the "engineer" on the Gwen Lyn, a work boat owned by D & B boat rentals out of Abbyville, LA. We pulled into our dock at Intracoastal City carrying a load of offshore workers we were evacuating because of the hurricane. The port Captain ordered us to head back out to evacuate more workers, so away we went. The hurricane wasn't so bad, but it was getting worse. We went through the locks, entered the Gulf, and that's when the shit hit the fan. We were in a hurricane.

We were loaded with water, almost submerged on the rear decks. I asked the captain if he wanted me to pump water out to raise us up, higher on the water, but the cap said no - we would bob around too much. Long story short, the cap opted to tie up to a wellhead and ride the storm out. Because he was a wuss boat driver, he set us tied up stern first instead of bow first. The incoming waves overwhelmed the scuppers and the waves entered the engine room vent ports, which should have been sealed. They weren't sealed because I was never told to do that, which I should have been told to do, but our Captain was a maroon and we weren't trained worth a shit.

As the boat was going down, I ran downstairs and made a MayDay call. That's a weird feeling, making a MayDay call. "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! GWEN LYN GOING DOWN IN THE 26 FIELD! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!!! Plus, I was in the depths of the sinking boat. I was really not wanting to see water pouring down through the hatch. I escaped with seconds to spare.

A sister ship heard my call, as they were moored correctly and they came to our aid.

I remember being in the water, with all this shit that was on the loading deck swirling all around me, any of which could have killed me in a heartbeat if it struck me. It was actually more peaceful when I was in the water, as opposed to fighting to stay on the boat.

At the Coast Guard hearing, the Captain was found to be completely at fault.
 

NPC

特別な目を開けるためにパトリックを殺す
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#4
When I was a kid, I listened to a lot of my parent's music growing up. They even owned VHS tapes of music videos from various artists. Grace Jones videos were particularly interesting to me as a kid. ANYWAY, one of the VHS tapes my parents owned was one from the Eurythmics. So they would just put that in the TV and go about their business. I would sit though and watch the music videos a lot of the time. For the song, "I Need a Man" my mom asked me once, "What do you think she needs a man for?" My response was, "She needs someone to fix her washing machine." At the time, I legitimately thought that's what Annie Lennox was singing about. Made sense to me, because that's the only time we'd call some man over to OUR house...repair men! So naive and innocent I was!

 

NPC

特別な目を開けるためにパトリックを殺す
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#5
I used to work in the Meat Department at a grocery store. I never became a full on butcher, but I did simple tasks like trimming chicken meat, cleaning the grinders and saws, and mostly just helping customers, and asking if they want me to rub their meat with our special seasonings. ANYWAY, we used to have a lobster tank with live lobsters in it. Despite being basically an adult at the time, I still enjoyed looking at the lobsters. I felt kinda bad for them. They didn't even sell that well. I just imagined they were miserable. They don't get fed or anything. So, what I would do, is I would take small, raw shrimp from the case, and drop one into the tank, to see if they would eat it. It took a minute, but without fail, once that little shrimp was spotted, it was ravenously snatched up by one of the lobsters. It only made me feel for them even more. Apparently we weren't allowed to feed them, because if they weight more than what we bought them for....something something, not fair to whom we bought them from. I forget the reason, but it was bullshit.

Also, I freaked out once because I found worms in our Rockfish fillets. I freaked out because I didn't know how "normal" of a thing it was for fish to have worms. My coworkers told me not to throw it away, and it made zero sense to me. I'm pretty sure the first thing I did as soon as I got home that night, was research fish in worms. Apparently, most get removed before going to the store, but some get missed I guess. I'm very afraid of parasites. Was not a good work day. Despite that....I still love fish. Heh.
 
P

Penrose

Guest
#10
Well, my school mandates that everyone joins the "intramurals" every year - it's not just sports, but we have different kinds of competition from dancing, to board games. This competition last for about 2 weeks - we have parade, ceremony, like a mini-version of an Olympics. Usually, I choose to participate in scrabble or boggle, but my cousin wanted me to join the group dancing contest... Terrible idea... The instructor, who prides herself of always winning the competition, was boggled at my inability to sync with the rest of the group. I wished she kicked me out, but she wasn't allowed to. I put up with the exhausting nightly practice because my cousin won't let me quit, and I was trying to please her. Sadly, we placed 3rd that year. Later that afternoon, I saw her being comforted by other instructors. She looked extremely down.

After that incident, I never joined any dancing competition, ever. No matter the insistence. However, I redeemed myself the next year, by entering the digital media contest - which I won FIRST PLACE. It was one of my greatest win because I was up against highly skilled print artist. I won because the image I created was relevant to the theme, while some of them were just drawing stuff to highlight their skill. Some were drawing anime like dragon ball z, or sailor moon - how is that even relevant to globalization?

Scrabble - I tend to place somewhere between second or third. There is one year, however, where I almost WON. I could have won the entire thing, I can't believe the "luck", I had myself. However, in the end, I chose to lose... Why???? It was because, I saw how much her adviser cared for her. Her adviser bought her some food every game as an encouragement to do well in the competition. My adviser was somewhere in the basketball court. Not even once, did he attend any of my game. Jerk!! He only talked to me during the closing ceremony, like , "what place are you in?" - so he can try to sum all the points we had as a group, and get an idea of our standing as a group.

It was the last letter, I had "J" - and I could have formed the word "JOG" - and those who were watching, couldn't believe I missed it. I could sense her nervousness - she knows, I would have beaten her, and she's really good at scrabble, never beaten. It was when her adviser came in, with a smile, and my competitor looked disappointed... that I decided.. "this is stupid competition, anyway, why take it seriously?" - the game outcome was worth more to her, than it is to me. So, I let her win without her knowing it. They kept saying how I almost won it, if I was only alert, and I never corrected that perception.

I walked away... my prize was looking at her , so happy and hugging her adviser.

During the ceremony, one of classmate did say " oh, you placed, second? Good job!!! We lost our game. Good thing, you won, so we get our scores up!!! " - I just laugh. That made my day.
 
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