Archived Target's got jokes.

[GlobalTL123]

Here's a few good ones.
"Ladderless backrooms"
"Pulling exf batches before the truck"
"40 boxes an hour"
The biggest joke of em all.... "We are guest centric! "😂🤣💀

🖕target

 

[unknown]

No signing hours. Target believes the signing magically unpacks itself, sorts itself, and attaches itself to the ceiling.






Except when a visit is imminent .... then it's .... UNKNOWN! GET THE SIGNING UP NOW!

Never mind it takes hours to build. We'll just act like it doesn't.

 

[qmosqueen]

FIFO and FEFO

Fresh and full by 9 am

Defect all expired items ( oops the wrong item came up when it went to defect screen )

Fast Movers. ( ha more like no movers) never fishing pushing truck

Cleaning Routine (ain’t nobody got time for that)

Assignment Sheet. ( can’t read my leads writing)

DBO — know your areas goal for the day. ( I can’t even remember what day it is )

 

[JAShands]

Apply online only. *Removes application kiosk*

Do all onboarding on a computer. *We have two computers and three ETLs so we’re already short on equipment*

All TM training will be done on Workday. *Omfg can we get another computer??!?*

Style Team has to do their own ad on Sundays. *Style team cannot in fact complete their ad. I’ve tried to train most of them. Utter disappointment.*


And if TLs can’t stop gossiping and talking shit about TLs at other stores I’m taking away their phones on their breaks and giving them a juice box and some grapes and directing them to the Kindermats.

 

[Llamanatee]

Paying people that have been there 4 years and are actually trained well the same as people that have been there since Christmas that still don’t know how to read a schematic and are being trained on the go, and not very well.

 

[Llamanatee]

Apply online only. *Removes application kiosk*

Do all onboarding on a computer. *We have two computers and three ETLs so we’re already short on equipment*

All TM training will be done on Workday. *Omfg can we get another computer??!?*

Style Team has to do their own ad on Sundays. *Style team cannot in fact complete their ad. I’ve tried to train most of them. Utter disappointment.*


And if TLs can’t stop gossiping and talking shit about TLs at other stores I’m taking away their phones on their breaks and giving them a juice box and some grapes and directing them to the Kindermats.

Ah, style team former softlines has always done their ad at my store in the 12 years I’ve been there.
My favorite part is when they ask me, electronics team member who has never set ad over there, to show someone how to do it. I just ask if they know where the brands and such are and tell them to match the signs with them and make it visible. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

 

[NKG]

Do POG batches to fill the floor but given no extra payroll 😂

 

[GlobalTL123]

Theyre not even doing ad prep anymore. Just opening the box on sunday morning. Lol.

 

[Llamanatee]

Theyre not even doing ad prep anymore. Just opening the box on sunday morning. Lol.

Yolo.

 

[Mikuhl]

3 points of contact on the ladders haha.

 

[ShortTM]

Give a TM multiple tasks but never train them how to do it.

 

[Mikuhl]

Backstocking Electronics when theres only two people schedule from 8-4:30, 4:30-close.

 

[unknown]

No lie .... check and change all capacities and salesfloor count on all pogs and revisions. Really? How many days do I get to do that for the last cosmetics set? Cause Maybelline alive will take a solid 8 to 10 hours. So yeah, not happening.

 

[Rock Lobster]

With DBO's... a day at work should feel easier! Uhh, sure.... if I get the payroll to schedule enough of them! When I am taking double the trucks but barely see an increase in hours though, it doesnot feel easier!

 

[NKG]

This is the best joke of all- Being the closing leader on Saturday and none of my peers made plans to have their teams take down ad. I don't have time to do 4 different work centers....

 

[GlobalTL123]

With DBO's... a day at work should feel easier! Uhh, sure.... if I get the payroll to schedule enough of them! When I am taking double the trucks but barely see an increase in hours though, it doesnot feel easier!

Straight from my dtl's mouth "guests are the priority, not the truck" and im thinking ok next time you complain about us not finishing I will use that quote.

 

[RunForACallBox]

Modernization is a joke

 

[redeye58]

Overheard in the BR from a SFTL who just had three more depts added to their workload:
"If they're going to f*ck me over this much, the least they could do is give me a safe word."

 

[greatteam]

Use the mycheckout to save the sale and line bust *breaks mycheckout and makes it unusable*

Create a frictionless guest experience *provides enough payroll for one cashier at a time, takes away front end supervisor*

Train everyone at the front to do everything at the front *provides no training hours and cuts store payroll*

Focus on the guest and selling *coaches for spending 'too much time' with guests*

 

[RunForACallBox]

Use the mycheckout to save the sale and line bust *breaks mycheckout and makes it unusable*

Create a frictionless guest experience *provides enough payroll for one cashier at a time, takes away front end supervisor*

Train everyone at the front to do everything at the front *provides no training hours and cuts store payroll*

Focus on the guest and selling *coaches for spending 'too much time' with guests*

The fucking truth, though.

 

[GlobalTL123]

My checkout is another joke. I tried to save a sale, the app kept crashing. Guest said never mind and left.

 

[PackAndCry]

No lie .... check and change all capacities and salesfloor count on all pogs and revisions. Really? How many days do I get to do that for the last cosmetics set? Cause Maybelline alive will take a solid 8 to 10 hours. So yeah, not happening.

The best part is that the SFQ changes often don't actually stick.

 

[Llamanatee]

Then move up and be a lead.

I don't have an issue with it. I make more than new hires. I was pointing out what I witness and what others talk about. I could have been a lead years ago. No thanks. I'm good where I'm at!

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Scan option don't work when pulling a dpci in the move app. Then you go to my work, it scans & you have the right item.

 

[The Wanderer]

When you do a 30+ piece order pickup and as soon as you get it done it wants you to fill the same 30+ piece order pickup again because the system glitched the first time you did it. Except now goal time is approaching and you know you'll never get all those backroom locations and dpci's scanned in time.