Archived Type A Personality...Problem...

[TM CSI]

Hey everyone, I joined this forum right before transferring to a new store and figured this would be the place to get advice. I love the new store and I work on the Flow team, but there is one specific woman who has been at the store for 30 years who bullies everyone else. She literally points out every single time a TM bowls a box to the wrong aisle or puts something in her cart that shouldn't be there (she works makeup). The first week I was there she "accidentally" threw a bottle of open soda at me and did not apologize...I was ok with putting up with her pointing out errors at first since I am new and the processes are a little different, but the other day she literally stopped working her cart of makeup to come up to my coworker to hold a bottle of shampoo in her face to let my coworker know she'd put it into the makeup cart by accident.
My other coworkers shy away and seem scared of her, but dude, I am a grown woman and am very respectful, and I don't feel like I have to put up with this. I asked my boss how to handle it and she essentially told me to turn the other cheek because she is a Type A personality who is WAY BETTER than she used to be, but I feel that's not really my problem. I think my boss is intimidated by her as well. I am a bit Type A myself but that doesn't mean I point out every time anyone makes a mistake--it just means I like to make lists and stay busy! Next time this happens, I want to A) Ask her what personal satisfaction she gets from pointing out everyone else's mistakes, or B) Start pointing out every little thing SHE does wrong, which I know is passive aggressive, but if my boss isn't going to guide me or handle it, what option do I have?? I love my new team but I'm not the type to just let someone keep digging at me like this. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks, all!!

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

I would talk to your etl to hr about them.
Welcome, by the way.

 

[SFSFun]

There is a very similar TM at my store. I am lucky enough to not work directly with her, but when we do interact I make sure to stand firm in what I say and do, and have an explanation for everything she might question.

That helps me to deal with her, but she still bullies everyone else... Last week I heard her literally yelling at an older TM who had just moved to flow because he dropped her pallet in the wrong place. The TM just kept saying, "well sorry I didn't know and now I do" but she just kept going on and on.

Definitely talk to your ETL-LOG or ETL-HR so they can keep an eye on her.

 

[TM CSI]

Thank you! I am unsure how to approach HR about it since the woman has been there so long. In my experience (at the last store), I find folks who have been there for years stick together, and my HR is a woman in the same age group. My last store kind of branded me a bit of a troublemaker because I wasn't the type to tolerate when people get out of line (I made some complaints regarding some TMs using racial slurs in my presence). It created a lot of stress because those I reported were "in good" with HR. I don't want to be labelled that way but geesh! Respect seems so hard for some people!

 

[redeye58]

Yeh, that falls under 'creating a hostile work environment'.
If your leadership is cowed, you need to go up the chain.
Being new in the store, you won't be able to depend on others but they would consider you a hero if you knocked the bitch down to tolerable levels.

 

[PassinTime]

Yes, talk to your HR-ETL. Is the co worker Type A? Oftentimes people with the need to point out others flaws or mistakes have low self esteem.

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Documents the events & be nice about. Hey, I had May offended another tm on something I did. I did say, I am sorry to them.

 

[redeye58]

When I worked PA for a bit, this (slightly younger) woman was the same way but always in shriek mode.
When she went off on me one day, I looked her in the eye & asked "Do you have any other volume lower than 'Howler monkey'?"
After a few more choice queries, she left me alone but a few others started lobbing them back at her when they realized she was all scream & no bite.
Leadership may tolerate it if she's good at her job but "type A" personality is NO excuse.

 

[DoWork]

While you have every right to exist upset and disagree with management's handling of her, you should understand how hard it is for them to find someone who is motivated and good at their job, especially for the low pay.

You're not likely to get anyone out, just create more hostility, passive aggressiveness, for example.

When dealing with people like this, understand their job is their validation. If you're making it harder on them, or you're their equal, they'll expect a similar, but not matching attitude from you. As one, I can say it's very difficult to see others doing poorly or making mistakes you wouldn't. We can accept failures or mistakes, but we expect effort and you trying to correct the mistakes.

Then, there's the possibility you could never please her. Competitiveness is a self feeding addiction, and creates so many problems in all aspects of life that it's easy to destroy your faith in people and your ability to understand their ways.

 

[Sickofspot]

^That doesn't make it ok. I hate when people are " Oh, that's just how she is-she does an amazing job in cosmetics though." That's a load of garbage!

 

[Target8675]

If any choice in handling the matter only makes it a potential bigger problem then I would re-think the matter. I don't have the hands down end all, be all solution to this matter but from what you described I feel it would only get this individual to double their efforts to be even more difficult. The response from the supervisor is basically one of where it is a delicate balance to put the hammer down on how this team mate behaves. If and only if the manager sees this behavior should it be at the very moment dealt with. Unfortunately, oft times this kind of person picks and chooses when to be the way they are without being seen by management. I would ask management to be more aware of this ongoing behavior as it does affect the balance of the workplace and this person is bordering on creating a "hostile" work environment. That is clearly a "no, no". Hopefully, management steps up and at least is aware that you may be the one to tell this team mate that her actions is in fact creating a "hostile" work environment that you don't appreciate and the company does not condone.

 

[OffYaPhone]

I would wait until she tried it with me and then be firm that you're not there for her shrieking. That others might allow her to talk to them all sorts of way but you're not with it. Stand firm and I bet she won't try it with you any longer. You can't fight other people's battles but as long as it has to do with you then you have every right to go to HR and higher if it becomes a problem. Just because the person is a hard/good worker gives them absolutely NO right to allow them to treat their equals that way.

 

[Patty]

Thats not a Type A personality. Sounds like aa anti social personality disorder. I never tolerate bullies and never have. Something my Dad taught us all. I have gotten beaten up physically, mentally and emotionally over the years . Sometimes some good comes out of it, sometimes it doesn.t . I left 2 different state jobs because of bullying and harrassment. Lots of consequences, but I am and always will be Bob Heads daughter and damm proud of it.

 

[DoWork]

^That doesn't make it ok. I hate when people are " Oh, that's just how she is-she does an amazing job in cosmetics though." That's a load of garbage!

No, it doesn't, but the only solution is termination, which is near impossible. Given the possible outcomes, accepting it probably is the best solution.

 

[Redzee]

Ignore her.

 

[TM CSI]

I tried to respond to this yesterday but I deleted the post somehow!
Here's an update on this situation:
I went to my HR and filled her in, and she actually THANKED me for bringing it to her attention. She told me that, unless TMs speak up, there is no way for her our our TLs to know what is happening on the floor. I don't know how the situation was handled, but it was taken care of and I've had no issue with the TM since then.
It was never my intention to get the woman fired; termination of her position would be extreme and a little ridiculous considering the circumstances. I just wanted her to understand I will not tolerate her bullying. I'm okay working with people I don't like as long as we can be respectful to each other. Ignoring her, or accepting her treatment, was NOT AN OPTION. I am aware I must pick my battles, so to speak, but I'm not about to turn the other cheek and let people walk on me and talk to me any way they feel like it, I don't care where I am or who it is. Just because I'm new to the team doesn't mean I must accept being disrespected.
HR was incredible, and my ETL followed up with me to let me know I should immediately come to him (and not feel like a "tattle-tale") if the situation escalates or continues.
Pretty much everyone walks on eggshells around this woman and was too scared to speak up about her being a bully. The situation has been resolved as far as I'm concerned. I hope this helps others realize that NOT speaking up to a bully means you are condoning the behavior! Of course, there are exceptions (obviously, this was not going to reach the level of a physical altercation), but this wasn't one of them.
Thank you all for your input!

 

[luna831]

I disagree everyone is different you can't agree with everyone so you would rather get her fired that seems like a bad person move.

 

[TM CSI]

I disagree everyone is different you can't agree with everyone so you would rather get her fired that seems like a bad person move.

I'm sorry, I don't understand. I didn't want to get her fired, just wanted her to be respectful. Either way, you're entitled to your opinion as well.

 

[redeye58]

Luna apparently doesn't understand either. No worries.
You did the right thing.
The rest of the team probably appreciates it more than you'll ever know.