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If you don't mind harsh jail time, you could always sling rocks. Schools always need people, especially if you live in a large district (paraprofessionals, assistants, cafeteria staff, clerical, etc.)

Jumped from red to green, on your way to getting that stock, good luck but don't become such a sycophant that you go against your customers, the most annoying thing I've encountered in all my years being a patron.

At my store they always carried out TMs that were stealing in handcuffs to make a show as a deterrent for any would be thieves amongst the crew. It only happened twice during my tenure, most of the theft in my store was external.

May thou bread runneth over thine basket as it doth at the Olive Garden, because when thou art there you are indeed family.

My neighbor works for them and he always complains about not getting enough hours and he's been working there for years. He says turnover is high, and instead of giving the long timers more hours they just hire more new people and give the hours to them since they don't want to have to pay more...

"You ain't takin' my job buster!"

You can sneak on a computer and put it in, it's great! They even have a fun survey at the end asking why you're leaving! ;)

This is going to be the album cover for my indie folk AC/DC cover band, Highway to Chill

Wait until the end for the explosives and fireworks so it'll be extra metal!

I have some of those Coleman propane tanks from Sporting Goods we can toss in at the end of the party. In the meantime *throws some wood and old torn khakis and red shirts on the fire*

See, the hardest thing for me was leaving the life. I still love the life. And we were treated like movie stars with muscle. We had it all, just for the asking. Our wives, mothers, kids, everybody rode along. I had paper bags filled with jewelry stashed in the kitchen. I had a sugar bowl full of...

I didn't know you could get cucked by fruit until now...

See you space cowboy...

Paid holidays, consistent hours, a career you might dig for the rest of your life. C'mon! You gotta give it a shot!

You can also just walk out the door with a raised fist while holding a boom box in the other hand blasting "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds. That's my plan when Target has ran it's course.