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I love he dumb ones. Makes our job so much easier.

To that one creep: you are very lucky that I was on the clock today and I need my job, or you have no idea how bad your day would have become. If you honestly think it's okay to repeatedly make sexually explicit remarks to a 16 year old female cashier even after she has told you multiple times...

When I first started at Target, one of my cousins had just started dating a guy who was a hard-core, super paranoid socialist who apparently hated corporations, or really any company bigger than a guy selling flowers out of the back of his car. The first time I met him (at a family dinner BTW)...

From what I hear/see, they have maybe a couple years left. They were going bankrupt anyways, but then their new CEO came in and made it even worse. His big idea to raise money was to close stores and sell off the buildings and property, since Kmart owns almost all of the buildings and the land...

This is so true. The one time I shopped at Kmart in the last ten years was because I was in an unfamiliar area, needed to buy something, and literally couldn't find any other store. This was on a Monday afternoon, so the store wasn't even busy, yet somehow I ended up in line for twenty minutes...

TTO shoplifter: you are quite possible the stupidest person I have ever met. Working my new job (plainclothes loss prevention/AP), I saw a guy that I had PMR'd at Target in the past. I followed him, and he ended up trying to steal over $500 worth of merchandise. I apprehended him, he fought a...

So I missed out on most of this thread. Are you implying that I'm "making up the rules as I go"? Hilariously, that's exactly what my loony couponer told me. She found out she was dead WRONG. I only enforce rules that exist. People still get pissed because sometimes team members don't always...

I had one of these whackos call corporate on me recently because I made their fraud experience too uncomfortable for them. I was doing inventory counts in section A when I noticed a man and a women literally clear out an entire shelf of shampoo and load it into their cart. Being the stellar TPS...

Obviously, with Black Friday having just come and gone, I have a few good ones. For now, we'll just start with one. GSA calls me and gives me a transaction number to look up and pull video footage of because the guest says she left behind a bag. Of course it's a $900 transaction, so I have to...

Maybe it's because I'm just a mean person, but when I'm pissed off or bored, I love to head out to the front lanes with a copy of the coupon policy and slowly stalk my way up and down the registers looking for the tell-tale piles of identical items lined up on the belt. Then I slide over and...

I got accused of being racist on my first day working alone because I dared walk up to a black guy and ask him if he needed help with something after I watched him rip open a phone case, remove it from the package, stick it in his pocket, and walk away. Went like this: Me: "Hey, do you need help...

While I'm here, I might as well mention another good one I got a couple days ago: To that one guest drug-dealing dirtbag: I get that you're not the brightest bulb in the box, and I guess that's why you decided to sell heroin for a living. I guess that's also why you though it would be a great...

Yeah, I can see how it would seem weird, but I asked my ETL-AP about it and she told me that there is a difference in the encoding. To be honest, I don't know if it's only my region that does this. We get hammered with return fraud, plus my state has extremely strict money laundering laws that...

TTOG: At least try to be a little bit more smooth next time. You're just embarrassing yourself. Here's the story: Sketchy, drug-addict type comes into our store and returns $130 worth of cosmetic items. He didn't steal it off our sales floor, so we didn't deny the return, he got his gift card...

TTOG: Congratulations, you got away with two $600+ push outs in two days. Probably not a great idea to come back one hour later, in the same car, wearing the same clothes, to pick up your friend from the electronics department (the same guy who unlocked all the merch for you). Thanks for helping...

To that one "guest": We tried to review video, we really did, but we could not find out where you left you phone. Sorry, but its a big store and finding where you dropped your iphone yesterday is nearly impossible. Yes, we really did look. No, we are not lying as part of some elaborate cover-up...

To that one shoplifter: If you notice AP following you, just go ahead and ditch all the clothes you were trying to lift and leave the store. That's what we want you to do. Why you chose to flee into the bathroom and attempt to flush several items of clothing down the toilet, I will never know. I...