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TTOG who insisted on the $1 tip for helping you to your car, to the point where you just walked by me and slipped it into my pocket so I wouldn't have to touch it or acknowledge it: I'm gonna acknowledge it. Thanks, you stubborn nice person.

no but our ETL-AP was there and these folks have done weird returns in the past so I thought I recognized them from that. but we very quickly relayed information after they were in and out in five minutes with a bunch of stuff in their hands to a car waiting out front

TTOGs WHO JUST WALKED IN AND SNAGGED A BUNCH OF SOFTLINES AND PUSHED OUT WITH EVERYTHING IN THEIR ARMS: GODDAMMIT I KNEW I RECOGNIZED YOU FUCKERS I'M SO MAD THAT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO BLOCK YOU OFF I'M PISSED AT HOW BAD I AM AT MY JOB but we got your plates, your car, your faces, and phone...

Cashier who just called out 15 minutes before their shift: SCREW YOU Corporate giving me dick hours on a Sunday and giving no opportunity to do anything and also giving me ETLs who want everything: FUUUUCK YOOOOU

This is something I always wait for when someone does part cash and part card. I'm so glad that it happened to you!

EMBARRASSED. Next question!

TToTM: thanks for following my twitter and validating how fucking hilarious I am also thanks for pointing out that I tweeted about a crush on a coworker I had literally one day ago thanks for needling me about it and thanks for swearing to keep it a secret which YOU FUCKING BETTER JESUS...

TToETL-HR: look I'm sorry that I yelled "fuck off" after you gave me your date of birth for that bottle of wine tonight but a) at least the store was closed and b) SERIOUSLY HOW ARE YOU YOUNGER THAN ME you look so mature and put together and you have a well-adjusted life and i'm over here...

TToGSTL: Ha ha, you're transparent as shit about calling out on Fridays before your weekend off. You fucking weasel. We got way more redcards than we usually do and it seems like it's because everyone was in a good mood because you weren't there. And I don't care how many times you pull me into...

"Huh, whaddya know! I bet you're the first person to think of that. Golly, I can't imagine it really does anything... Just looks like a thick piece of string to me. Aaaanyways, I need to get back to my zone over here next to the camera display.........."

Hey, bud, you actually sent me (and only me???) the information and my salt levels dropped immensely. Yeah we lost but c'mon man it's me I spun that shit so hard and I'm really glad to see how close we got. So.... Okay, thanks. I still got all kinds of salt probably but seeing as how I want to...

TTOG who remembered that I moved and got into a fun conversation about the neighborhood I'm in: I love you guys. I was so excited when my idiot boss directed you guys up to the service desk for quick checkout. I will never bug you two about a redcard, swear to heaven.

ETL-GE: seeing as how we had our best redcard week in a while because of the district competition and getting everyone hyped about goals for once, how about you quit obfuscating the data and just telling us that we're "losing" and threatening to bring the hammer down? We're on a good thing right...

TToGSTL: youuuuuu'rrrrre a PRICK YOU'RE A PRICK you are such a prick Jesus Christ!!! I'm so sick of watching you be a fucking hard ass to our best cashiers about redcards and being all threatening and talking about discipline while they're on a lane and WITH GUESTS!!! TToSTL: why the FUCK is...

TTOG: thanks for wearing headphones and talking on your phone and being so oblivious and disrespectful while slowly checking out and juggling your Very Important Meetings that you didn't even notice that I was making bug eyes at you and then looking at the guests behind you, who were also making...

I mean, speaking for the child inside of me that is still very sour and upset over the day they went to Blockbuster and discovered that all of the Super Nintendo games were removed and replaced with N64 and Playstation games.... I get it, man.

Holy shit, I almost thought I wrote this post.

Re-reading this, this was probably a better answer, except then I wouldn't be able to speedweave or help out with any issues. So maybe it's not a better answer. I can't tell. I'm mad. Sorry for the double post.

TToETL: looking you in the eye and firmly saying that I'm not apologizing for calling for fast service when we were given one cashier before 10:00 on a WEEKEND, with a big kid's event that drew in TONS of parents, was probably incredibly stupid but also incredibly liberating. You're clueless...

TToSTL: sTOP OPENING THE DOORS TWO MINUTES EARLY JUST BECAUSE GUESTS ARE OUTSIDE!! Is it really that big of a deal that they wait?! Because it is a SUPER big deal when you don't want any TMs clocking in until 8 because of payroll! If the store opens at 7:58 and then the TMs are supposed to start...