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TTOG: I can't sell you display models. They are not functional products. Stop being mad at me because you can't buy a non-functioning display model.

TTOTM: Please stop apologizing for being shitty at your job. Just get better at your job. Or don't. You're probably going to be fired soon anyway. TTOtherTM: If you're going to order me around, insult me, and threaten me all in the same breath you could at least get my name right.

To The Entire Early Morning Backroom Team: Thank you for helping us push when Flow has numerous callouts. We wouldn't get our trucks done without you folks. I hope the new TMs I trained are keeping their backstock tubs organized for you. TTOTM: I don't care how fast stuff is coming down the...

Sequel to my last TTOTM post: the subject of that post apparently got the hint without me even saying a word to him. He was walking on eggshells all around me today. He wouldn't look me in the eye. And he definitely didn't tell me what to do. I don't know what happened, but I'm glad it did. Yayyy.

TTOTM: You need to step away from me. You are on my last nerve. I've been here more than three years, you've been here for barely four weeks. Having a PDA or myDevice in your possession does NOT make you an authority figure or someone who has all the answers when we're pushing. I do not need...

TTOTM: A case of Tide is not a team lift. No I will not help you with it.

To That One Entire Fucking Team: For a hot minute, we were kicking ass and taking names. We got a new TL thst everyone respects, we had a solid team of badasses to get us through the biggest trucks, a third listed thing... Then it all changed. A bunch of those badasses quit, we hired a...

TTOTL: You've generally been getting better at being a leader, and for the most part you've gotten really good at organizing people to speed up our push process, but for fuck's sake you need to stop sending me, by myself, to bowl and push 100+ cartons plus multiple flats worth of autofills in...

TTOTL and the rest of Flow: We killed it today! 2700 pushed in under 4 hours. Such a good day for us.

TTOTL: Maybe I'm just a lazy asshole, but I don't think it's reasonable to give me 30 mins to push 100+ cases that have been inaccurately bowled out by one of the newbies. No I didn't finish before the store opened. Yes you can suck a dick.

TToTL: Do not tell me that this area should have been bowled out by now. No shit it should've been, and it would've been if you sent MORE PEOPLE OVER HERE TO BOWL. We have twice the normal amount of shit in this departmeny to bowl out, plus the boxes from the autofill and the manual, and half...

To those guests at a totally different retailer: I DO NOT WORK HERE. Stop asking me questions. I don't even look like I work here--I'm in bluejeans and a ratty old band shirt. What's your deal?

It makes zero sense for me logistically, but I take my morning twosie 35 minutes before store opens like clockwork, more than an hour after our 15. If the bosses ever give me crap about it, I'll ask if they'd rather I just do it in the racetrack. Thus far nobody seems to give a shit. Poop joke.

TMs at my store and a couple different ones have questioned the authenticity of my discount card (I guess the natural wear and tear on it looks phony? I dunno). The ones at my store questioned it because they'd never seen me before. I've been here for close to three years lol.

Me: *has 3 hour shift today* ETL-Log: *five minutes before my shift is done* can you stay another hour? Me: Sure. ETL-Log: *five minutes before fourth hour is done* can you stay up to your fifth? Me: Sure. ETL-Log: *on my way to clock out, mere feet from the terminal* can you take a lunch and...

I can't even process that. I can't imagine that would go well if that happened during our unloads at my store. :P

My pet peeve: on the rare occasion I have to call out (as early as I can the day before, so there's still time to find coverage if they want to) and this one particular LOD asks "why?" None of your business is why. The other LODs just thank me for calling and wish me a good night.

Today a guest caught me leaving the offices through an employees only door while I was off the clock and out of uniform (blue jeans, green sweater, heavy brown coat and a black beanie...decidedly not looking like an employee). I pretended I didn't hear him and kept moving. If there were any...

TTOTM: do not question my sense of urgency, especially when you spend twenty minutes in the bathroom after every truck unload then spend half your remaining shift dicking around with your phone. You just got off my shit-list, too, thanks to your pizza generosity. Welcome back to the list.

To those seasonal TMs: Good riddance. You all suck.