Archived Demon Spawn

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My kids are past the tantrum phase, but the biggest catch 22 was when they were throwing a fit in a store because they didn't want to be there. Do you leave the store - giving them exactly what they want or do you muscle through your shopping trip to enforce the concept that "mama don't play that game"?
 
When I was a kid, my mom could deal a swat to the butt of a running child without breaking stride.
When my boys were younger, I told them that misbehaving meant we were done & leaving.
I had to leave a cart or 2 before they knew I meant it but they got the message.

@commie - I remember that story about your girls using the "Call 911" yell on YOU.


I reminded her of that at dinner the other night and she insisted that it only happened because I was being unreasonable, or so she felt at the time.
Which she feels is a good illustration of why she never wants to have children because they are terrible.
I couldn't really argue with her at that point.
 
My kids are past the tantrum phase, but the biggest catch 22 was when they were throwing a fit in a store because they didn't want to be there. Do you leave the store - giving them exactly what they want or do you muscle through your shopping trip to enforce the concept that "mama don't play that game"?

I'd just ask someone at the store which aisle their gags are in.
 
"How dare you. How dare you! You bought so much, and I only got diapers. I didn't get any toys today!"

"You're being a little sassy today. You got books. We're going to put them back if you keep that up."

- a conversation I overheard between an indignant little shit and his mother
 
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I had a little girl today about 3 years old literally step in front of my basket (I was going full speed mind you and I almost hit her), stick her hand out, look me dead in the face and go "STOP!" I literally stood there for a good solid minute trying to decide if I should just run her over or spare her life. Luckily her mom stepped in because I was going to just run over her. I don't have time for your antics little minion I have work to do!
 
I had a little girl today about 3 years old literally step in front of my basket (I was going full speed mind you and I almost hit her), stick her hand out, look me dead in the face and go "STOP!" I literally stood there for a good solid minute trying to decide if I should just run her over or spare her life. Luckily her mom stepped in because I was going to just run over her. I don't have time for your antics little minion I have work to do!
Thanks to your avatar, I imagined Starlord doing this.
 
I had a little girl today about 3 years old literally step in front of my basket (I was going full speed mind you and I almost hit her), stick her hand out, look me dead in the face and go "STOP!" I literally stood there for a good solid minute trying to decide if I should just run her over or spare her life. Luckily her mom stepped in because I was going to just run over her. I don't have time for your antics little minion I have work to do!
Good thing she didn't do that to me while I was pushing a tub from FA.
She'd be nothing more than a smear on the floor.
 
We had a young cart attendant bring a toddler up to guest service one night. The kid was wandering around the parking lot, in the dark, no shoes, no coat. I called the police. (LOD said I should not have done that, BITE ME) Right before they showed up the mom comes walking in looking for the little girl.This kids mom went into the store next door leaving the sleeping kid in her carseat. Kid wakes up, no mom, and got out of the car to look for her. So kid sees mom, stops crying and mom goes to leave with kid. My service desk team member sees the police walk in and tries to distract mom while I tell them what happened. She admitted what happened and all they could do was warn her to never do that again. So Demon Spawn is correct in this case because that mom was evil.
 
This one is probably my favorite. A mom had her two kids with her in the toy department. Her kids are yelling at each other and generally carrying on. So the mom leaves the area. The oldest one follows her but the youngest one doesn't because she really wants this damn toy. So instead of going after her mother, she stands in the middle of main aisle and screams. And I don't mean like the usual sad scream, I mean she screamed so loud that the cashiers could hear her up front. She stood there and proceeded to scream for nearly a minute, and her mother never came back. She just kept on walking away. I've never been so mad at a mother in all my life. And thanks to that kid screams, she woke up a two year old in a cart, who then proceeded to scream. It was lovely.
 
The alternative would've been for mom to come back & tell child to come along.
Child would then continue to have a screaming tantrum while jumping up & down.
If mom had tried to take her hand, child would go limp, fall to the floor.....& continue screaming.
If mom picked her up, she would've kicked & struggled.....& continue screaming.
So as much as you hated it, mom did the right thing.
And ain't no kidnapper gonna even wanna touch that screaming child.
It was a hard lesson learned but hopefully one she won't forget because mom didn't cave.
 
Yeah had a lot of carts and momentum. Kid jumps out and I just jack em into an endcap. Nice sturdy and cereal. Mom says "oh just hit her, teach her a lesson." Sh*t really?
You have to have a license to catch a fish, drive a car or own a gun. But anyone can be a parent. Paraphrased from movie Parenthood.
 
We should just sterilize all humans at birth. Put something in the water, I don't care. Fuck kids. I had a family behind me in a line the other day, and the little bastard they had with them kept hitting my shoe with his ball. I ended up kicking the ball down the aisle behind us, not saying anything. I'd like to live in a place where kids are not allowed.
 
We should just sterilize all humans at birth. Put something in the water, I don't care. Fuck kids. I had a family behind me in a line the other day, and the little bastard they had with them kept hitting my shoe with his ball. I ended up kicking the ball down the aisle behind us, not saying anything. I'd like to live in a place where kids are not allowed.
Not all kids are evil little shits. I guarantee mine never would have done something like that....mostly because they knew they'd be in SERIOUS trouble if they did.
 
The alternative would've been for mom to come back & tell child to come along.
Child would then continue to have a screaming tantrum while jumping up & down.
If mom had tried to take her hand, child would go limp, fall to the floor.....& continue screaming.
If mom picked her up, she would've kicked & struggled.....& continue screaming.
So as much as you hated it, mom did the right thing.
And ain't no kidnapper gonna even wanna touch that screaming child.
It was a hard lesson learned but hopefully one she won't forget because mom didn't cave.
I actually saw a mom carrying her demon spawn out of the store over her shoulder throwing such a tantrum over the weekend. The entire time, she was saying, "I told you no and if you didn't stop, we were leaving. Maybe next time, you'll listen." I wanted to tell her "YOU GO, MOM!"
 
One of my older regulars was enjoying her morning coffee in the cafe when a stressed young mom went by with a screaming little boy in the cart.
The regular made a fist in the air & said "Solidarity, sister! Been there & done that."
It gave the mom a much-needed laugh.
 
I'm one of those people who legitimately dislikes kids. Not just demon spawn, but all of them. I just don't like them. Demon spawn are easily the worst things about my job though.

Recently this kid was banging the little door where you can pull the tub of hangers from and it kept pushing it into my legs pretty damn hard. Normally I try and ignore kids, but it was the end of my shift and I was just done. So I kicked the tub back and the door basically flung open and smacked the kid who proceeded to run back to his mom and stay there quietly.
 
I like kids but I HATE it when parents bring all 3-7 of their kids to Target. They always run around screaming and making a mess, and always require 2+ carts to navigate. Like, can one parent not stay home with the kids? Is there no one else to watch them? My mom never brought me or my brother shopping unless she had to, she had my dad or my grandparents watch us.

I also hate it when the kids start banging on the PIN pad, playing with the belt, going up to open and empty cash registers to play, and when I tell them to stop (because they WILL break the PIN pad/hurt themselves/get in serious trouble if they continue) the parents either get mad or condescending like "Oh I can take care of them." Judging by the fact I have to restart your order because your crotch fruit wouldn't stop mashing the PIN pad and it's frozen, you can't.
 
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