Archived ETL is a jerk.

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So my TL's son was murdered recently. I couldn't go to the funeral but some TMs did. The STL and HR went but our ETL didn't go! And I think he was off that day. I am at a loss for words!
 
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Dont get me wrong but why is he a jerk because he didn't go to the funeral. Maybe he had something else in his life too take care of . Just saying. But thats sad about your TL's son.
 
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Carts is right,that is very sad for the family and friends.It may well be that the etl is a jerk but not for that reason,there may have been a lot of reasons that he "could" not go.
 

dutifulTM

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tbh I don't see why working together means that one is required to attend a function such as a funeral... I know, imho, that it'd be awkward going to the funeral of someone else's kid, even if that someone was my co-worker/TL/whatsayyou.

It isn't like they're close friends of mine or whatever, and if I wanted to sympathise, then I'd do so via a card or something...

I agree with the others that it is sad to hear about that happened, though, and I hope the family/friends are able to get through the loss together.
 
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This is something I don't understand.... ETL's *are not your friends* people. I never understood TMs who thought they were.

Just because they are willing to BS with you at work or be nice to you does not mean they care about you.
 
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I'm gonna say --- if you or whoever doesn't attend the wake or funeral --

There's different levels of the relationship from the deceased --

1 - Wife / Husband - Parent of either type

2 - Son / Daughter

3 - Niece / Nephew

4 - Uncle / Aunt

5 - Step Son or Daughter

6 - Maid / house keeper / nanny ( ever see an STL's check ? )

7 - Pet - dog / cat - whatever

Plain out disrespectful weather you like the ETL or not --

A - #1 and #2 - Go to the funeral or wake - sign the book - offer your condolences - if you don't have the stomach for it -- leave that's the correct thing to do !

A.2 - Good catch "Carts" ------ #3 - depending on how the grieving felt toward them - your memory is needed for this -- "That God-Dammed sisters kid of mine is always in trouble with the Law" - then "Sorry for your brother's / sister's loss" - go zone --- if --- "That fantastic niece / nephew of mine - the honor student / soup kitchen volunteer" -- "Sorry for your loss and take this card" -- go zone --

( I have a nephew I'd like to hit with a stick everyday around 2:-- 2:30 for about 20 minutes - if it would do any good -- but hes still my sisters kid -- "Here's a card -- I gotta go zone now" )

B - #4 and #5 - Attending the funeral would be nice - but at least send a card and a personal 2 handed - hand shake

C - #6 - Are you kidding - say in person "I'm sorry for your loss - now I gotta go zone now"

D - #7 - this can be tricky - some people are whack jobs when it comes to their pet's - the ones that carry photos of Fluffy - bring in birthday cake's / show up on their days off carrying a shaved rat like object in a little sweater under their arm and it match's their sweater - you better go to the funeral - give a card - donate to some wild life fund in Fluffy's name and mark it on your calendar

Don't forget the "Pay Back" factor --

It's my experience that ---- people tend to remember ( hold a grudge ) who showed up - gave a card - an eye contact condolence hand shake.

And there's the - "Suck-up Factor" ( two faced pricks ) - I see it all the time - "Good I'm glad his wife is dead" -- their the ones who will be sitting next to and holding the hand of the grieving
 
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If someone you see on a regular basis has a parent/spouse/child die, the right thing to do as a human being is go to the visitation/viewing and offer your condolences. Funeral seems a bit more iffy as those seem to be more for those who knew the person or know the family intimately...but not always.
 
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The fact that the STL and HR went shows badly on the direct ETL. I am betting dollars to donuts when my TL saw the STL and HR and didn't see the ETL, she wondered where he was even if her emotions were focused on other things. Plus one of my fellow TMs is related to the TL. She feels nothing but animosity toward my ETL now, not to mention my other fellow TMs also.

I don't care if it's a business; we're all humans... show some ****ing respect.
 
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I'm gonna say --- if you or whoever doesn't attend the wake or funeral --

There's different levels of the relationship from the deceased --

1 - Wife / Husband - Parent of either type

2 - Son / Daughter

3 - Niece / Nephew

4 - Uncle / Aunt

5 - Step Son or Daughter

6 - Maid / house keeper / nanny ( ever see an STL's check ? )

7 - Pet - dog / cat - whatever

Plain out disrespectful weather you like the ETL or not --

A - #1 and #2 - Go to the funeral or wake - sign the book - offer your condolences - if you don't have the stomach for it -- leave that's the correct thing to do !

B - #4 and #5 - Attending the funeral would be nice - but at least send a card and a personal 2 handed - hand shake

C - #6 - Are you kidding - say in person "I'm sorry for your loss - now I gotta go zone now"

D - #7 - this can be tricky - some people are whack jobs when it comes to their pet's - the ones that carry photos of Fluffy - bring in birthday cake's / show up on their days off carrying a shaved rat like object in a little sweater under their arm and it match's their sweater - you better go to the funeral - give a card - donate to some wild life fund in Fluffy's name and mark it on your calendar

Don't forget the "Pay Back" factor --

It's my experience that ---- people tend to remember ( hold a grudge ) who showed up - gave a card - an eye contact condolence hand shake.

And there's the - "Suck-up Factor" ( two faced pricks ) - I see it all the time - "Good I'm glad his wife is dead" -- their the ones who will be sitting next to and holding the hand of the grieving


Idk why I was so looking forward to #3 since it wasnt there lol.
 
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Idk why I was so looking forward to #3 since it wasnt there lol.

- I'll correct it -- Great Team Card and Karma for you
 
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So my TL's son was murdered recently. I couldn't go to the funeral but some TMs did. The STL and HR went but our ETL didn't go! And I think he was off that day. I am at a loss for words!

P / S ----- By starting this thread - you do realize Spot will put this in "Your" file should ever post something he doesn't like -- how many stores had ETL's kids murdered this week / month / year ???
 
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P / S ----- By starting this thread - you do realize Spot will put this in "Your" file should ever post something he doesn't like -- how many stores had ETL's kids murdered this week / month / year ???

Silly. But I wonder if they do stuff like this so one day an AP Investigator takes you to the booking room and asks you.... What do you know about something called....thebreakroom.org *Flashes bright light in your face*
 
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It's not your "job" to go to the wake of funeral. However I feel it would be the right thing to go to the visitation or wake. I understand not going to the funeral, they seam to be more for the family and close friends. It really doesn't take that much time out of your day to simply show some support for a team member that is going through a horrific event. If the STL and the HR went I think the ETL should have made the same effort. Who knows maybe he did have plans, but as I said it only takes 15 minutes to show your team member that you are not just another boss.
 

talan123

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P / S ----- By starting this thread - you do realize Spot will put this in "Your" file should ever post something he doesn't like -- how many stores had ETL's kids murdered this week / month / year ???

Have you been to my store?

Our store is visited by the FBI at least once a year.
 

commiecorvus

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Silly. But I wonder if they do stuff like this so one day an AP Investigator takes you to the booking room and asks you.... What do you know about something called....thebreakroom.org *Flashes bright light in your face*

Nah, but if at some point you do say something that pisses them off, they can go back through all your posts and figure out who you are by process of elimination.


I have always got a card for folks I didn't know that well who lost family at the store and the first time I saw them, gave them a personal condolence.
At other jobs I have gone to wakes and funerals but those were people I was also close friends with.
The circumstances might make the situation a little bit different.
I know when my daughters friend was murdered they shut down the shop they had worked at, so everyone could go to the funeral.
 

redeye58

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There's protocol - what's professionally proper & then there's the 'right thing to do' - what gives the most comfort to someone during a horrible time.
 
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My brother in law's HR showed up at our father's funeral. She didn't know our father, and we didn't need her there. She wasn't a personal friend. Almost felt like she only came to make sure all the time taken off for his illness was for real.

I say express condolences, send flowers or a card, but unless you personally knew the deceased, don't go to the funeral.

Just my opinion.
 
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My brother in law's HR showed up at our father's funeral. She didn't know our father, and we didn't need her there. She wasn't a personal friend. Almost felt like she only came to make sure all the time taken off for his illness was for real.

I say express condolences, send flowers or a card, but unless you personally knew the deceased, don't go to the funeral.

Just my opinion.


It's awesome that empathy is seen as devious by some. God forbid we think people are nice at their core.
 
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When my Dad died, no one from Target was at the wake/visitation or funeral. No condolences/card/flowers were given to me, either.

Well, maybe an ETL or two and a TL said offered their condolences.
 
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I'm gonna say --- if you or whoever doesn't attend the wake or funeral --

There's different levels of the relationship from the deceased --

1 - Wife / Husband - Parent of either type

2 - Son / Daughter

3 - Niece / Nephew

4 - Uncle / Aunt

5 - Step Son or Daughter

6 - Maid / house keeper / nanny ( ever see an STL's check ? )

7 - Pet - dog / cat - whatever

What about siblings and cousins? :)
 
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Messages
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When my Dad died, no one from Target was at the wake/visitation or funeral. No condolences/card/flowers were given to me, either.

Well, maybe an ETL or two and a TL said offered their condolences.

That's a crap move on their part IMO. I don't care if I'd never met the TM, I'd at least give them a card and a hug. Family is paramount to me, it's tough to lose any of them, much less one of the ones that brought you in to the world.

Also, belated condolences, my father is on his way out and I'll be wreck when that day comes.
 

NOP

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When my Dad died, no one from Target was at the wake/visitation or funeral. No condolences/card/flowers were given to me, either.

Well, maybe an ETL or two and a TL said offered their condolences.

Same thing happens with team member injuries/sickness. Somebody breaks an arm, there's a get well card. Somebody's got cancer and out for chemo, there's a get well card. Somebody's out with an broken leg, they get overlooked and there's no card sent to them.

It's hit and miss with "get well" cards. I've seen it where they put it up front in TSC for team members to sign while waiting to punch in, or they come around to have you sign it.

Funny thing is, on workbench, there's a number/resource for ordering sympathy flowers for Team Members.
 
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I came from an extremely hostile work situation, but even they sent flowers to the funeral home when my grandfather died back in January (out of town). And my dad (it was his dad) who works for a certain competitor of Spot also got flowers from his employer.
 
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It's awesome that empathy is seen as devious by some. God forbid we think people are nice at their core.

After all the hell she gave him for time off and when he died, she asked for a death certificate. It was a hard time for us, and her presence wasn't welcome.
 
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