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Guest, to another: “Dr. Seuss is a drug addict, no way I’m buying that book for Billy!!!” me: *snickers uncontrollably* Guest, to another: “oh look the Target Boy has a sense of humor” ...

TTOnewTM: You were absolutely amazing tonight. You make me kinda sad I’m leaving because I think you have a good enough work ethic to help us fix some of our problems. I’m sorry for making you follow me as I ran around like a dipshit doing flexes and moving pallets of crap around. TTOTL: You’re...

I cannot stand the flocks of teenage girls that take all the beanbags in child bedding and have a slumber party in the aisle for up to an hour. Happens at least once a week while I’m there. Like, you seriously couldn’t come up with something more entertaining to do for your weeknight?!?

“You don’t have to fold clothes all day, lucky you” Yes, zoning my area might be easier, but that is why there are 5 closers in softlines and 1 closer in hardlines, darling who always seems to be on her phone every time I take a visit in softlines in order to do a flex.

TTOG: Repeating a description of the item you’re looking for after I say “we have nothing like that” multiple times isn’t going to make it appear out of thin air, and it isn’t going to change my answer. Unless you’re looking for Beetlejuice, then you’re in luck.

I've seen him use it plenty of times before and he's been such a pain in the ass to work with anyway so I figured "whats the worst that could happen".

TTOTM: I had the wave keys, I gave them to you. 10 minutes later, "GrandTheftAutumn go to 2" You asked "can you come to the back" FINE... I muttered 'you fricken hack' "How do I turn on the wave" you cried ... fine, I'll show you... I sighed. "Oh no one ever told me that before" Yes they did...

TTOTM: I’m pretty offended that you think you can talk about women like that in front of me. Like damn man you even have a girlfriend. Do I look like the type of guy that would be okay with hearing that crap? And for the last damn time I don’t have a girlfriend and I’m not going to the bar...

Parents that let their children lay down in the space below the cart. One day a child will lose a finger and the store will be blamed. ~ Also TLs that insist on having conversations with each other on top of what you’re working on. Like, if you’re going to get in my damn way gabbing about...

To everyone in leadership: Yo. Sup. Toys guy didn't have any freight today. Why am I doing pulls for other areas other than my own? I still have to work on my freight. Oh he's supposed to be zoning you say? Must be a pretty impressive zone considering he's standing at the electronics boat with...

TTOTM: Second NCNS in two days YIP YIP HOORAY, hopefully this means you're gone for good. You complained about freight when we had a lot of freight and no time to zone. You complained about zoning when we had little freight and all the time in the world to zone. That one time you stormed into...

TTOTM: Hey darling, when you call out that you're going to your '30 minute lunch' (15 minutes late when we have 4 people in HL who need to go to lunch in the same 2 hour period) you should probably make it 30 minutes, not 45. Also, I shouldn't go to lunch, come back 30 minutes later, finish...

TTOTM: I understand you want to go home and get drunk. I need to drown myself in liquor as well after slugging through 8 hours of your shit attitude. And stop throwing a damn temper tantrum whenever we have to stay past 11:15. You're getting paid to mindlessly clean an aisle with no guests or...

I feel like at my store everyone goes out of their way to be super upbeat and friendly. As long as it is sincere I'm all for it but the forced "hey how's it going" type of stuff is cringeworthy. In my instance I just think he sounds like someone I'd get along with, if he wasn't I'd just let him...

TTOnewAPTM: You are adorable as hell. You're quiet, and every time I try to smile at you and say hello when walking past you, you awkwardly smile back but never actually say hi. Then today you actually asked me how I was doing and I was so surprised I stumbled on my words like an idiot. Well...

TTOG: I used to work on ambulances and volunteer in the fire department. Do you want to know what I learned from that? Big vehicle beats little vehicle. So move your damn cart entering the dang aisle I was in so I can get this hugeashellpalletteofrepackagedfreight that is already 80% through the...

TTOG: I think it is great you're telling your 5 year old daughter to stay in school and work hard. And yeah, I guess it is true that your daughter shouldn't want to pursue low level retail as a career. But you don't need to say 'they don't make a lot of money' while you're walking past us as if...

TTOG: You made my day when you called asking about a "jailbreaked tv box thing". You're adorable. TTOG: You hollered at me from all the way down the speedway while I was halfway through carrying a piece of furniture to its location. I am not your houseboy you can summon at a whim, I'm not going...

TTOTM: I don't know how to feel about you anymore. You're older, working two jobs and usually come to work tired and sore from your first job. You're a nice lady, and I can't imagine what it would be like living in your shoes. However you speak broken English and refuse to carry a radio so you...

TTOGSA: I responded to the backup call for a cashier immediately. On my way there you called again for Guest Service. So, you know I know guest service because YOU trained me, why wouldn't you just tell me to go there instead and call for anyone to cashier? And when no one responded after 10...