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Discussion in 'Guests First!' started by TallAPGuy, Apr 14, 2015.

  1. TallAPGuy

    TallAPGuy Team Leader

    I've dealt with many weird people, and I've dealt with plenty of tweakers. I've even (at a previous job) ridden with a cop to drop someone off at the psychiatric hospital (did you know that How to train your dragon is the preeminent source of Norse and dragon lore?) But today's lady takes the cake.
    This afternoon I was standing at our mall entrance providing door presence, receipt checking everyone and their dog and giving little kids stickers. In walks this lady, normal looking enough as she walks in. Before I could ask how she was today, she gets the first words in:
    "I'm sorry, where's your bathroom? I needtoshit before I shop."
    "...Uh, front corner of the store, that way," I respond, caught off guard by her bluntness.
    "OK, thank you I- OH! YOU'RE 'Tall'? Do you remember me? I taught a 'Tall' !" At this point, she takes five steps towards me, now uncomfortably close. (Note: My real name isn't exactly common, but it's far from uncommon)
    I take a step back, "I'm sorry mam, I don't recognize you."
    "Oh, come on 'Tall', I taught you at [Local highschool I didn't attend!"
    "I'm sorry, I didn't go to XXXX, I went to [Highschool in other town]"
    "Oh, then you went to [University of California campus 2 hours away]! You're making a million dollars now. I need a million dollars," She went on while I was shaking my head in dissent.
    "Mam, I didn't-"
    "I need a million dollars. I need someone to move in with me with a million bucks," she continued, cutting me off, and she kept getting closer, while I was trying to step back, and starting to get a bad feeling about this.
    "I needamilliondollars. I need a man. You want to move in with me? Can you move in with me?"
    At this point, I wanted to call for AP, or anyone else. She also put her hand on my shoulder with a disturbing look in her eyes. I gently but forcefully removed it "Mam, I would appreciate you not touching me, and I'm sorry, but no, I'm no moving in."
    "Yeah, I guess I was a little forward, and your wife wouldn't like it. You have a wife, right?"
    "A girlfriend, and yeah, she wouldn't be very happy."
    "That's too bad, I need a million dollars, I need a man, and I would make sure you orgasmed six times a day." And she walked off. I was shocked. I looked over at the electronics team member standing a few feet away, and she was watching the lady walk past, eyebrow raised.
    "What the hell was that???"


    So, anyone have stories about crazy guests?
  2. redeye58

    redeye58 Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!

    Crazy train didn't stop there; sounds like your store is the freakin' depot.

    We had a homeless guy who'd buy HBA stuff with giftcards & cash, then return them for cash before AP cracked down.
    The next time he tried to return the items, the GSTM refused it so he began yelling at her & making threats while she called AP.
    AP came up just as he dropped his pants & told the GSTM to perform an oral sex act.
    Arrested & trespassed.
  3. daninnj

    daninnj Team Leader

    I've posted this before, but I'll put it here too...

    In '09, I'm stocking dairy in the Pfresh endcap and an older lady comes up to me.

    Her: "HEY! You're on the website!"
    Me: "Umm... what website?"
    H: "The most wanted website!"
    M: "America's most wanted?"
    H: "No, INTERPOL!"
    M: "Uhhhh..."
    H: "Have you ever lived in Canada?"
    M: "Uh, no"
    H: "How long have you lived here?"
    M: (I'm guessing she meant the city I live in) "Uh, three years?"
    H: "Well there's a guy on INTERPOL's website that looks just like you. I'll show you a picture next time I'm in."
    M: "uh... okay"
  4. redeye58

    redeye58 Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!

    And I'm sure she said it LOUD enough for everyone aisles away to hear.
    defang and TallAPGuy like this.
  5. My store has a couple who come in and will not allow you to touch their merchandise, even to ring it. They literally hand it to the cashier one at a time to scan with the hand scanner and put it in their own bags. If you try to take it from them they will slap your hand and yell at you.
  6. DoWork

    DoWork Probably a Sociopath

    You're a better person than I. People who don't respect personal boundaries are the absolute worst.

    There's a mentally challenged lady who stalks my meat team leader. Hunts him down to stare at him from a distance for ten minutes at a time. So creepy.

    Also, there's one old man who comes in and tells awful, awful jokes to anyone who will listen. Mostly homophobic and racist jokes, too.
    SupTarj and Deli Ninja like this.
  7. signingminion

    signingminion WAVing in the air like I just don't care

    I'm sorry I don't move in for less than eight orgasms a day...before lunch. :p
  8. iVibe

    iVibe Team Member

    Omg. Some people make me have no hope for the human race. Smh.
    InvisibleGirl likes this.
  9. oath2order

    oath2order Scary Socialist

    Crazy? Eh. That's just how it goes. All these millions of people, living as foes
  10. redeye58

    redeye58 Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!

    Or hoes....
  11. dannyy315

    dannyy315 Team Leader

    She's obviously mentally handicapped, so it's difficult to be too harsh on her. But god, it seems like she needs to be isolated for a while.
  12. masterofalltrades

    masterofalltrades Team Trainer

    My store invented the crazy train. A couple of days ago we had a lady come in screaming. She was yelling that a blonde haired green eyed lady punched her, and we didnt want to help her, this want on for about 2 mins before, she said that ap assaulted her. then the creative language started. After ten minutes of nonsensical screaming ap finally escorts this lady out. As soon as she's out the door she mooned all of ap, including all 3 tps, 2 aps, aptl and the etl.
    20 minutes later i get a weird guest, which is normal were in a weird part of town. Everythings fine until i hand her reciept, then she starts yelling that i stole her lithiums. i got stuck listening to this foor about 5 minutes till she stormed off. The only thing she came in with was a purse, and she only bought 2 pops.
    A hour goes by tgen we get a purchase order guest. Of course something goes wrong. Here we go again rant #3 in 2 hours. By the end of this one the gsa gets called a c u next tuesday
    This is why i hate cashiering.
    Redeye58 may i please have some degreaser.
  13. OP

    TallAPGuy Team Leader

    Your store has two APSs and both an APTL and ETL-AP? I can tell you're in a weird part of town just by that!

    We had a douche claim that the Electronics TM didn't hand him the change from a $100 on a $7.25 bill. Luckily, my boss, the ETL-AP, was LOD this morning and she had me look at the cameras to prove the POS (and not Point Of Sale) was lying through his teeth. The TM actually accidentally handed him an extra $5. She threatened to call the PD on the ass, who took off through the mall at a dead sprint.
    Deli Ninja and evilSF like this.
  14. masterofalltrades

    masterofalltrades Team Trainer

    we are like super duper high risk. Thats not even our whole ap staff. We currently have 7 tps 2 aps 1 sr. Aps an aptl and etl-ap. We average like 7-8 good aps a week. And ap has closed 7 internals already this year.
    babysitrmk likes this.
  15. redeye58

    redeye58 Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!

    Single bottle or do you want the economy 6-pack?
    Cutlery is optional.
  16. SFSFun

    SFSFun Ship from Store: Don't call it Ship To Store!!

    WTF? I think you have more people in AP than my entire store has ETLs and TLs.
  17. PinkZinnia

    PinkZinnia Team Trainer

    We have a lady who comes in and uses self check out.. She never lets anyone near her. You can tell she has some sort of OCD.. She can't touch the screen with her fingers, she uses her knuckles. it freaks her out if she has to open the bags. I have asked her numerous times if she needs help and she always says no. The other day it was hurting me to watch her struggle to open the bag. I went up to her pretending I was fixing the gum display and quietly said - would you like me to open the bag for you?I won't touch it. I will put a bag over my hand.. She said, yes please.. I made progress...
  18. TeamRed

    TeamRed Team Trainer

    I have this lady who comes in every day who whistles all the time and then whistles at the checklanes and then talks about her dogs. She gets mad if you do not put the dog food in the bag correctly.
  19. OP

    TallAPGuy Team Leader

    Holy cow! You must be in Detroit or South Central LA to have that big of an AP team! Last time we had an App was a couple months ago, and we had to call PD b/c we didn't have anyone App certified; not counting the nut job with a knife running around the store cutting open packages a few weeks ago. It's a damn good thing he put it away or the Police would have shot his ass.
    Deli Ninja likes this.
  20. evilSF

    evilSF Team Member

    I really LOOOOVVVVEEE this. The fact you have paid attention to a guest and helped them in a way they feel comfortable, is amazing. Not all weird guests are bad. I'm sure it's not something they chose. So great work!

    My stories don't even come close. The weirdest thing, was when I was shopping in plain clothes. A guy came over to ask me a question.
    "I know you work here, I've seen you many times. Can you tell me where x item is located."

    I did tell him because I would at any other store being a guest. But it did creep me out that I don't even remotely recognize the guy.