Archived Funny Things you hear on the walkie

[lovecats]

All those with duplicate name issues.... in our store my first AND last name both rhyme with another TMs. So they can't separate us by either. They sound about the same over the walkie too but they usually want him and not me. So unless they specify softlines with the name half the time I don't answer. And when it comes to walkies the other issue I have is when I'm talking to guests I often turn my walkie off so that I can hear them clearly and they can hear me. Then after taking care of the guest half the time I forget to turn the darn walkie back on. ><

We had two Kathy's (yes, that's my actual name. Love being retired). Anyway, One was a GSA and one (me worked salesfloor) So we managed to train people to ask for GSA Kathy or Salesfloor Kathy. It did work most of the time.

 

[brizzy93]

We had two Kathy's (yes, that's my actual name. Love being retired). Anyway, One was a GSA and one (me worked salesfloor) So we managed to train people to ask for GSA Kathy or Salesfloor Kathy. It did work most of the time.

The other TM with the same name as me was a GS TM and I am HL but people still rarely specify GS (name) or HL (name) unless we already got mixed up once that day

 

[Havok]

TM: Backroom, where did you put the microwave? (5th time calling us)
BTM: Team member, it is in the first stockroom, I repeat, first stockroom, repeat, first stockroom, I repeat, first stockroom, microwave is in the first stockroom.
TM: Copy..

 

[SFSFun]

LOD: Hey Bob
Bob: Go ahead
LOD: Hey, I need you to stop whatever you're working on and go grab a pull off the line.
Bob: So you want me to stop working on this pull and go grab another one?

 

[GlitterBerries]

Our fun bit this morning.

Joe: This is Joe, heading out.
TM: Be safe, Joe.
TM2: Be careful out there Joe.
ETL: Drive safe Joe.
TM3: Take it easy, Joe.

and on and on and with one TM after another and then....

FRO: Hey Joe, make sure you call us when you get home so we know you made it safe.

Poor Joe. LOL

I've had a similiar one when Someone said they were going on lunch It was like

Tm1: have a good lunch
Tm2: Better be delicious
Lod: get that food in your bellah!
Tm3: check if there are still donuts in the break room and report back
Tm4: want me to sing via the walkie to make your lunch more enjoyable
Me: sloppy Joe sloppy sloppy joe
Tm on lunch: turning off walkie see you in 30

 

[GlitterBerries]

LOD: Hey Bob
Bob: Go ahead
LOD: Hey, I need you to stop whatever you're working on and go grab a pull off the line.
Bob: So you want me to stop working on this pull and go grab another one?

All the time at my store lol

 

[abstractpremed96]

I'm really sorry about gravedigging this thread but I just couldn't resist sharing this one:

This happened at 6PM, 4 hours before close, ULV store (only one opening/closing GSA/GSTL)

Consumables TM: LOD, this is [CTM] clocking out for the day.
LOD: Alright goodnight CTM.
HL TM: LOD, this is [HLTM] clocking out for the day.
LOD: Alright thanks for helping out bud
SLTM: LOD this is SLTM leaving for the day
LOD: See you later
SL TM 2: LOD this is [SLTM] clocking out for the day.
LOD: Have a nice night.
GSTL: LOD This is [GSTL] clocking out for the day
LOD: Ok GSTL have a good night………Wait, hold up you can't leave yet!!

 

[Kaitii]

One of the PAs always calls for the LOD by saying "LOD this is pfresh/his name"

PA: LOD this is *name*
LOD: *Name* this is *LOD's name*

I got a good chuckle outta hearing that

 

[Cart king]

Happened yesterday
New elt: is anyone checking flexes I've misplaced my PDA
Me: I have been checking and pulling flexes since I found your misplaced PDA
ETL: you know how to use a PDA!?!
Me: (knowing backroom has left for the day and knowing this etl is crazy about research) I just learned how to today
Random tm: cart king you know how to do alot with the PDA you have said you prefer it over a my device
ETL: cart king come partner with me in the backroom
I got the pleasure of pulling all his research. But I will say this he did help after I taught him how to pull batches

 

[callmetaylor]

We have a softlines lady who seems genuinely terrified of touching the walkie, even after being there for over a year. She always sounds like someone who's trying to speak english to a spanish speaker or something- like the louder and more abrupt her words are, the better chance the other person will have of understanding. Very strange cadence and bizarre word choice. "LOD to line 2 please, LOD to line 2" ...well when you say it that way it makes it sound like there's a phone call parked on line 2 for the LOD! How hard is it to remember the word "channel"?!

Imagine every cliche of a 90 year old grandma talking on a cell phone for the first time. In theory they know what they're supposed to do, but they just can't fathom that this little piece of plastic will really carry their voice, so there's that weird level of disbelief in their voice.

 

[pinkp2ie]

Had someone steal a walkie and play fuck donald trump once lol

 

[dani346]

this happened when our gsa was keeping an eye out on some thieves

gsa to lod on 1: "it's a white chick and a black lady..."
lod: "gsa go to 4!"

 

[Kartman]

I always want to key the walkie to my radio ( in my truck, on break), but I've resisted so far.

 

[TTGOz]

"SOMEONE POOPED ON THE FLOOR"

-GSA freaking out 2k16

 

[HRZone]

"Team I need a backup one lane 7"

Oh wait that's everyday and that's not funny

 

[brizzy93]

One of the PAs always calls for the LOD by saying "LOD this is pfresh/his name"

PA: LOD this is *name*
LOD: *Name* this is *LOD's name*

I got a good chuckle outta hearing that

My old ETL AP did stuff like that. He was great

 

[Doglover89]

A Target mobile tm once gave his walkie to a guest so the guest could ask the LOD a question... the ETLs weren't amused.

 

[Kartman]

I always want to key the walkie to my radio ( in my truck, on break), but I've resisted so far.

FTR, it would be an awesome tune.

 

[HRZone]

After responding 4 times in a row to backup cashier i sarcastically called out "does anyone else in this store have a walkie" *still no response* "Nope, i didnt think so." So i told my gstl the plan and i called out "team chick fil a just brought fresh sandwiches. Get them while theyre hot" on the walkie and everyone who went up got thrown on a register.

This epic story needed to be bumped

 

[HRZone]

Or a TM who purposefully keeps the volume so low that he can't hear any calls. Our folks do it all the time so they don't have to respond to calls to come up to the lanes when it gets busy.

Some people may do this but there are times you are legitimately called out on walkie and don't have one.

I borrowed a walkie once when ETL HR couldnt reach me and said "It's too bad the folks in Minnesota don't think we should all have walkies." The girl in electronics gave me a high five.

 

[Kroneru]

Fitting Room: "Team... this may be inappropriate, but do we sell anything thing that can hide the smell of weed?
Hardline TL: That's innappropriate...
LOD: No...

 

[Logo]

Team do we sell lock picking kits?

 

[Pale]

"It's too bad the folks in Minnesota don't think we should all have walkies."

The folks in Minnesota struggle too, fuck corporate's stupid decision making. - A Minnesotan

 

[Cart king]

Fitting room: team do we sell soap on a rope
Me: you can get yarn in b13 and soap in A26. It's more of a diy kit
Lod: -mid laughter- way to try to make a sale.

 

[BigEyedPhish]

Some people may do this but there are times you are legitimately called out on walkie and don't have one.

I borrowed a walkie once when ETL HR couldnt reach me and said "It's too bad the folks in Minnesota don't think we should all have walkies." The girl in electronics gave me a high five.

I won't lie as Signing TM I do this sometimes, but hear me out, I would literally get called for help over the walkie more than the LOD. Almost always for lazy shit, that people could solve themselves if they weren't lazy as all hell or had any common sense in their Brains. The only bright part I could find was making lazy people look like complete fools.

It got so bad that my LOG-ETL literally told me to "Come in with a Red Shirt, but wear mesh shorts, so they can't ask for your help on the Sales Floor." on days the Fixture Room is fucked and they want me to clean it. First time they asked me to do that I laughed my ass off, and thought "That's fucking Brilliant", and "Thank You" at the same time.