How to sew a Gold 'n Plump chicken together to hold stuffing
If some of you aren't selling many Gold 'n Plump chickens, it's probably because comsumers have a major problem roasting the whole ones. These are intended to be roasted: there are roasting instructions on the package. But the chickens are cut through the muscle from the cavity all the way to the leg joint, and the breast skin is cut in a large semicircle that covers most of the breast. The first time I found this, Sunday dinner wasn't ready until almost 11 PM and everyone was disgruntled. Most cooks will look for another brand after the first time.
For those who really, really want to roast a Gold 'n Plump chicken, here are instructions for re-assembly:
1. Allow an extra 20 to 30 minutes prep time - more if you have to search for your sewing kit.
2. Thread a large, sharp needle with about 36" of dark thread. Dark thread is easier to find and pick out after the chicken is roasted.
3. The muscle layer of the chicken will be cut from the opening to the leg joint, and the breast skin will be cut in a large half-circle over the breast. Sewing the muscle layer first, then the skin, produces the best result.
4. To sew the muscle layer together, begin at the leg joint. Pass the thread through both halves of the cut muscle and the needle through the loop in the thread to anchor it, then sew small overhand stitches, holding chicken together, until you reach the opening through which you normally stuff the chicken. Tie off the thread.
5. To sew the breast skin together, begin at the edge of the large half-circle farthest from the opening. Anchor thread as before, and stitch the skin together neatly, without stretching, until you reach the opening through which you stuff the chicken. Tie off thread.
6. Stuff chicken; place in oven; roast as usual.
7. Apologize profusely to family, if they can still be found, for late Sunday dinner.
8. (Optional) Call the 800 number on the package and complain about the state in which you found your chicken.
I've complained repeatedly to Gold 'n Plump, but although they send a $5 coupon that essentially replaces the chicken, it still has to be sewn together before roasting. Maybe a large retailer like Target can get through to them when their customers can't!
