Archived Gossip at work

[theflowspot]

If this is in the wrong spot please move it since I don't know where else to post this.

So, I am in need of some advice about what to do over a situation a coworker and I are stuck in.

I work flow team, namely push, and I work with all male coworkers say for one other female. I view them all as friends, but being I am the only girl gossip has started pouring out suggesting I'm dating a few of them, one in particular who I will call Joe. Joe and I started off with a mentor relationship since he was the one to train me. That mentor relationship turned into a friendship. We have zero interest in dating each other and even if we did, he is not a manager so it isn't against company policy. Well, after my breakup with my ex in January of this year rumors started forming with coworkers that I was dating Joe, that Joe was in love with me, etc. I thought it was hilarious people would waste their time gossiping, so we continued to ignore them and do our job. Well, Joe and I both got sick at the same time and called out, so even more rumors began. It went from coworkers up to all of my TL, ETL's and even my STL. The more people pushed, the more we went along with it. Apparently a few people are jealous. One girl in particular who we will call Tina adamantly was against the idea of Joe and I dating to the point she went and keyed his car and Joe had to have a meeting with our ETL. While I was out in vacation, this same girl went to HR and said Joe was sexually harassing me. I was pulled into TSC for questioning and I told HR that there was gossip, including from our STL, and she wanted to make sure I was okay and to hear what was really happening. Well. Joe was pulled into the office shortly after and HR told him I went and made a formal complaint about him, which I did not. It has gone so far that one of the ETL's was questioning him about our "relationship" so Joe made a crude comment about me which resulted in him being pulled into the office and almost fired, which he apologized to me for saying but I completely understand why he did it, because if they ask you may as well feed the trolls. We work together doing early push but he is no longer allowed in the same aisle as me, or to talk to me, so pretty much I have to act dead around him. They told him that it was "bothering other females" that we had such a good friendship, and that we had to end that friendship. We both signed up to volunteer for an event, and they told him he is not allowed to go if I go. I'm really pissed that HR and management is allowing other females to dictate a friendship I have to the point where I feel like I just want to quit. I had told him when they pulled me into the office that they were going to try and put a wedge between us so I would either leave or transfer, and that is coming to fruition. I do not like that HR spun it that I made a complaint when I didn't. Should I move above my management and contact my DTL or corporate? It makes me worried if someone needs to complain about a serious issue that there is zero trust to be found if it was a matter of sexual harassment. It angers me that we are both adults, and they are threatened by our friendship, yet they waste time at a huddle announcing all the engagements from other in-store couples. I'm frustrated because you think adults would be adults rather than act like a bunch of high school bullies.

 

[BoxCutter]

This sort of thing happened all the time on overnight Flow when I was on it. Male/female friendships and female/female friendships were always questioned and gossiped about. God forbid you give a fellow TM a lift home after work. Although there were a lot of TMs who did get together, some were talked about if they just sat at the same table during break. Having worked both overnight Flow and dayside, Flow was always worse with this sort of thing.

As to what to do about it to make it stop? Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do other than what you are already contemplating. Haters gonna hate no matter what.

I would transfer to another store and then you and your friend can do as you wish.

 

[tgtguy]

Most of the time when a male and a female are friends people talk. Either, people say the girl is throwing herself at the guy or vice versa or they are screwing each other every chance they get . People ( most people) don't realize that a man and a woman can be friends and even best friends and that's it .Just because you are a friend with some one of the opposite sex doesn't mean you have to be dating them or screwing them. Sounds to me like your leadership is adding fuel to the fire. I would definitely consider making a call to the hotline if I were you.

 

[theflowspot]

Most of the time when a male and a female are friends people talk. Either, the girl is throwing herself at the guy or vice versa or they are screwing each other every chance they get . People ( most people) don't realize that a man and a woman can be friends and even best friends and that's it .Just because you are a friend with some one of the opposite sex doesn't mean you have to be dating them or screwing them. Sounds to me like your leadership is adding fuel to the fire. I would definitely consider making a call to the hotline if I were you.

Yes, thank you! Things would be okay if it was JUST gossip, but having my STL make comments really grinds my gears since he should be shutting it down. Thanks for the input.

 

[CsideMaster]

I would throw it in their face now. Don't transfer, don't give in. Instead continue to hang out with him like you've always done, don't change anything. Talk to him, laugh at something he says while other people are watching to infuriate them. There's nothing anyone can do because you haven't done anything wrong. And if a leader tries t o make a move, then go above their head and call the hotline or corporate.