Archived I Think I Give Up (LONG. Very.)

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I've worked at target for "Some years" - keeping it vague. My store has started awful and only gone straight downhill. It's for VERY correctable reasons, however, which has given me ulcers. One thing I will say is that I am a "lowly TM", but most of us know that title means "anything from nothing to pretend LOD". I am, and have been for years, "pretend LOD" in every single department.

My store has gone through a slew of rotating management. None of them hired internally. Every single one quit. From Day 1, many moons ago, I found my store defined itself by "Leader-Employee" antagonism. Employees would want to do something to make their jobs easier, leaders would deliberately stonewall or sabotage it without reason given. Even if, to make it easier, requires making it brand. I have known no leader, in my store, who accepts TM input or processes, even if it's a copy-and-paste of material found in Targets own resources. In fact, that a TM suggests it seems default-deny. This has been true since it opened, over two decades if the "lifers" are being truthful.

The thing is, I know most people who quit also have some personal problems. I just want to say, I really don't think I do, I want to love my job. I don't "hate" retail work, I don't hate my coworkers, I often don't hate my managers. I'm defeated. I've tried everything with every manager. Nothing, directed at management, works. Nobody in, or out, of the store seems to care, even when there's a LOT of money involved. If it can only make them look good, why do they get off kicking their TM's down?!

Which brings me to the reason(s) I may now quit. Every department I have been in has markedly improved by the fact I really like teamwork. It makes my job easy. Makes my teams job easy. I've done this so long I even think "my team". They are. I often trained all of them. From Electronics, to Front End, to Sales Floor, Back Room, Overnight, Pfresh, I have literally been everywhere. Just not management. In each case I work equally with my coworkers because we ALL want an easier job...which the leaders have sabotaged every single day. Unless there's a visit. But the visitors never talk to TM's. I do not know why. None ever have. I've been to EVERY DEPARTMENT trying to get promoted after I worked Electronics (with GREEN scores) many years.

The final straw was the first and only in-store promotion: They promoted somebody, proved a liar, who everyone dislikes (took credit for others work, lied about finishing work, all TM's and managers know this, has on-record HR complaints, etc). A very toxic "team" member whose world revolved around himself. Worse still, I am many years his senior, with a proved track record with many teams and many more departments. They chose him. Once word got around this almost caused a riot. People WANT me to be TL, because they know I won't sabotage them, and will work just as hard if not harder to make it work. I want to work FOR THEM.

Look. I want to be promoted. I want to do a good job. I have proved, can prove, and without any authority whatsoever would at any given SECOND prove AGAIN, I can work with any team I am put with. TM's who've never been trained or made do anything "correctly" (oh my God, the horror stories...) often just DO NOT KNOW ANY BETTER. I've gotten good at doing this over the years, and now new TM's look up to me even though they're often near my age or older (old demographics here).

I really wanted to fix my store. I've tried. In each department I did so as best I could. It's in the stores statistics. Why did the DTL never talk to me? Why did nobody notice when, after I left a department, it dropped to bottom list? Why does nobody care? What's the god-damned point of all the policies, statistics, data, if nobody uses it to actually give promotions, pay raises, etc?

Why is it, in spite of the fact TM's like me for making their jobs easier, every pay raise I've ever gotten was at best "eh"? Why has this been every single job I've ever had? Why MUST leaders ONLY be toxic to the employee environment? I've literally witnessed, more than once, management abusing employees or holding them to many double standards to the point of harassment...and of course "well talk to HR" leads nowhere. No matter who became ETL-HR.

I've tried. My friends, my fellow TM's, have tried. Even people who didn't like me, or just didn't give a shit about the job, THEY begin to try when they see it makes the job BETTER. That they can ENJOY, in SOME manner, working in a job where everything works. Versus now. Where it doesn't. And the whole store is falling apart faster than ever. All the while I try to fight for the most basic things like TM training...which I have to be doing myself, behind the backs of managers, because they're rubber stamping mandated OSHA training materials without actually doing it.

Just. What can I do? None of the DTL's ever came to me. I haven't been ever given proper procedures nor proper STL "talks". This latest TL promotion has just bitch-slapped everything I've done in so many years at that place, PROVING I can do it, PROVING I would only benefit the company. Without any knocks on my record. Approaching every manager I've had for opportunities.

What. What the hell. What can I do? Is there anybody, anywhere, somewhere in Target, who cares? Can I please work for them? I swear to God the only thing I have ever wanted in that place was to get recognized for the fact I have to play LOD while arguing with the LOD's about them not doing their jobs in a way that comes across as a compliment.

...I think I give up. Please. Dear Christ. Why the hell doesn't anybody care? Why can't I find a job that at least doesn't sabotage everything the employees do? I've been working over ten years. God damn it. Just...god fucking damn it. I'm sorry. I never do this. I just...that guy being promoted. God fucking damn it.
 
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Yeah...I just wish somebody would care. Somebody in corporate claims to so they can look pretty to investors I suppose. It just makes no damn sense to me. You run a COMPANY. You want PROFITS. You don't get that by letting your management hang your staff out to dry. I just can't believe nobody is giving a god-damn about my district. If they are, they need a bull horn, because we aren't seeing it.

But where can I go? I've been looking. I'm in the middle of improving my skills for a different career, but retail I feel has ruined me. I've developed so many leadership skills as a means of survival I can't turn them off. I'm afraid that office politics will hang me for it. I'm afraid every job is like this. That I'll never be management, or anything, without just blatantly being an asshole to my coworkers and acting like I'm above them. This hasn't been my only job.

I'm not just defeated with Target. I feel defeated. In life. Supposedly I'm intelligent but, at the same time, that's not exactly working miracles now is it? What am I to do? I want, NEED, somebody or something to believe in. Or at least to be in a position where I can, for someone like me, set an example of somebody to be believed in. It would be one thing if I was talking out of my ass, like some do (you know the type), but...the data. It's there. I'm the one who lets my team know how they're doing, not the TL. And I do it so we know that we're doing our best to make OUR jobs easier.

...And in spite of all that another job will just see "Team Member". I want to cry. I only ever end up floating back here when it gets bad and, honestly, its really damn bad now. I'd have to start over, fully knowing not one job has so far proved to be anything but a big farce.
 
Ck with your local family services dept. They have a job education for free or small fee to give more office/computer skills then you may have now. Don't let fear of failure or what if's stop you. Have ck other stores around you?
Hang in there!
 
The most important thing is not to let it get to you.
Spot is not the end.
They've done a pretty effective job of beating you into the ground but take those skills you've learned and move on.
They don't deserve you sweat, blood and most certainly not your tears.

It's really hard when you care about someone and want them to do well but they don't give a shit about you.
Spot is pretty much definition of a abusive relationship.

Yes, I know there are good stores and I'm really happy for folks who work in them, but the bad stores are what we're talking about.
 
I've never done that before. It is not that I do not have the skills, I just do not have the ridiculous "proof" and "mandatory 4 years experience to get experience". I've recently investigated some temp agencies but...that uncertainty. I don't have family or anything to rely on. Quitting this job and relying on temp work means relying on the job market to not return me homeless.

I know there are good stores. I firmly believe if some TV-magic were to happen, and somebody just give me one month in my store, I could turn it around completely without any authority at all. People WANT to work well so they don't have to work hard. They just don't get the chance. I just wish it were possible for me to get the chance to prove it to somebody not invested in sabotaging that for no apparent reason. I want to work for one of those good stores. I just can't find one.

I mean, right now, I'm teaching myself PHP and may try to save up more to pay for those needless computer-related certs for skills I can already prove I have. I can actually do linux based network administration and database management, with some types of software commonly used, but do you have any idea how expensive the certifications are?! Target doesn't pay me enough for me to stop working at target. And so far I can't seem to find another job who will hire me and pay more.

That's...kinda why I'm feeling defeated. Like in an abusive relationship. I'm teaching myself skills to try and dig myself out on my own, working on public projects maybe, to prove that way too I know what I know. I just wish it wasn't so god-damn hard when you have no family. Or that somebody would notice how fucking hard I am trying. How desperately I need to succeed. How thin the fucking ice under my feet feels.
 
Look for workforce in your area. Try checking out smal companies, sell yourself & say I am the get it fix done person.
 
The thing about an abusive relationship is that you feel trapped and that there is no way out.

I know the economy is bad and that the area you live in may not offer a great many options but the fact is that you will survive if you go out and find a new job.
Spot is not the end.
It's just one place to work that can make you feel like it is.
 
Just need to keep at it. Looking at how abusive it gets around the holidays it's like looking at a rather long, dark tunnel. And this year is....this is going to be the worst year I've ever seen. And the last one was really bad. So, so very bad.
 
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