Archived Is it unprofessional to talk about mental health on the Sales floor?

[flow4areasonuno]

I don't mention my anxiety at all anymore unless I'm actively having a panic attack. Managed to be lucky enough to only have the issue once.

Think they've forgotten entirely.

 

[Tessa120]

Most people are uneasy if not alarmed about talk of poor mental health. You want to be accepted. I get that. But due to the nature of the problem it will be off putting at best. Careless talk on the floor could have unexpected outcomes.

Acceptance is nice, but not the primary goal of being the way I am. Being the way that makes me feel the best about myself is the goal. Myself accepting the entirety of who I am is the goal. And yeah, if I gotta listen to their vapid talk, they can get what they give and get honesty from me.

 

[WalksforMiles]

These days when I think about discussing my mental issues, I think about the piss for brains ETLs and STL, and most of the TLs.

I think about how they laugh at people who confide to them of their mental heath issues, how they lack empathy, and how they have a complete disregard for confidentiality.
I think about how they have little to no morals and a severe lack of maturity.

Then I tell myself that these pathetic excuses for leaders don’t deserve an ounce of my personal life, or respect.

 

[Dead and Khaki]

I'd avoid potentially triggering topics like suicide, self-harm, eating disorder behaviors, etc., out of courtesy for others who might be dealing with mental illnesses.

 

[Shani]

I'm okay with TMs talking about whatever. Going into details that could be considered TMI though, maybe just keep your voice low so half the store doesn't hear you. Some people talk quite loud and I don't think they realize just how well their voices carry.

I tend to only go into details with TMs I've built up trust with or if someone asks me something specific because they want to know about my experience with certain situations. I got myself sterilized a while back, and I've never been shy about having that fact known. The details of exactly how I went about doing it only get shared when a TM asks... which I've had happen a lot recently, actually.

 

[Pattern Finder]

It really depends on the discussion of mental health for me.

I don’t think it’s inappropriate if I nonchalantly mention how the purpose of fidget toys is not only for fun, but really useful for people who have ADHD that want focus and relieve a certain amount of pain from staying idle. Or squish toys aren’t only for anxiety-reducing purposes, but it actually helps a lot of autistic people who need a type of stimulation (it’s easier to say stim) like a tactile one in this instance too. If I talk ever talk about my mental illnesses on the salesfloors, it’s usually because the TMs too are undergoing similar issues and they need help or it’s briefly how this product helped me through a rough time of my depression/anxiety (omitting the full details) and I would recommend it. I like bringing awareness about mental health and breaking its stigma if I can.

However, I think it’s inappropriate if I were to be talking about my constant intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and list of other symptoms openly. It’s absolutely important for me to discuss this, but that is for a mental health professional and me to work through (unless the people I highly care for and trust are emotionally available and consented their time at that moment). These are triggering topics, so I do want to be considerate to people who are coping and recovering as well on the salesfloor.

 

[Tessa120]

I'd avoid potentially triggering topics like suicide, self-harm, eating disorder behaviors, etc., out of courtesy for others who might be dealing with mental illnesses.

Strength in numbers. Mental illness lies to you and makes you think you are alone. Knowing someone close is just like you can give you both strength to make it through another day.

 

[Aredhel]

Acceptance is nice, but not the primary goal of being the way I am. Being the way that makes me feel the best about myself is the goal. Myself accepting the entirety of who I am is the goal. And yeah, if I gotta listen to their vapid talk, they can get what they give and get honesty from me.

I am talking propriety and safety. Talking in a public situation about mental health issues puts you at risk with predators and gives employers fodder for sanctions. Accepting yourself for who you are is great. But mainstream folks generally don’t have those issues, don’t understand them and don’t care. My experience.

 

[Tessa120]

I am talking propriety and safety. Talking in a public situation about mental health issues puts you at risk with predators and gives employers fodder for sanctions. Accepting yourself for who you are is great. But mainstream folks generally don’t have those issues, don’t understand them and don’t care. My experience.

Some predator is going to have some serious trouble with me. Can I be hurt? Yes. Would I be any more of a target than another woman? No. Someone tries to play brain games with me? I can play them back with the best.

Everything about me that makes me vulnerable is the same as any other woman's vulnerabilities. When I am in the grips of depression I am more vulnerable in some ways, but I am also more protected during those times, because I know I can't take as good care of myself so I stay where it's safe. Grips of mania, my biggest risk would actually be jail time for using excessive force against a perceived threat.

Employers? I've actually found the opposite. My experience, very rarely does an employer react badly. Usually knowing that my eccentricity isn't an act, I really do think differently and I can't help it, and that there's an actual medical reason why I need criticism delivered gently, I'm given the attitude of (as a previous boss put it) "Oh, that's just Tessa, that's how she is". Yeah, I've had the occasional bad workplace, but I can vote on their outlook with my feet, and usually it's obvious quickly enough that my job hunting leads are still hot.

And mainstream folks often do have those issues. 1 in 5 Americans suffer from mental illness each year. 1 in 25 Americans are so debilitated each year that it causes significant life impairment. Those numbers mean that 1 in 5 people around you, everywhere you go, are mentally ill. Of the remaining 4, most of them have someone very close to them who is mentally ill. I have often found that when I say something about being mentally ill to a stranger, either said stranger tells me about their struggles, or said stranger tells me about their brother/husband/daughter/best friend.

You don't want to talk, then that is right for you. But to say that it makes someone vulnerable to predators, that's really only in certain circumstances, and telling a coworker or explaining to someone why you talk to yourself isn't it. The people who are vulnerable are at the mercy of a close relative/partner/friend who is abusive, who would be abusive whether the person is sick or well, and wants to keep them sick so they won't leave.

 

[Aredhel]

Brain games are irrelevant. When in the grips of depression and normal function isn’t possible there is vulnerability. Employers expect work to be done. No excuses. If you have found an environment where you can function with all of your issues- good for you. I don’t mean to be unkind but but I grew up
with the idea that regardless of issues the world didn’t owe you a living and if you had problems you played close to the vest.

 

[redeye58]

Grips of mania, my biggest risk would actually be jail time for using excessive force against a perceived threat.

A woman after my own heart.

 

[flow4areasonuno]

if you had problems you played close to the vest.

Meaning no offense, but this is why I have an anxiety disorder. I have issues I don't talk about to anyone but my wife and fellow ...is sufferers a good word? Probably not...on internet forums (can't afford counselors) and it's crippled me emotionally. I imagine most people like me are alcoholics or into drugs or something. My vice is gaming.

 

[sfslackey]

Meaning no offense, but this is why I have an anxiety disorder. I have issues I don't talk about to anyone but my wife and fellow ...is sufferers a good word? Probably not...on internet forums (can't afford counselors) and it's crippled me emotionally. I imagine most people like me are alcoholics or into drugs or something. My vice is gaming.

I too have Anxiety disorder. Anxiety, depression and the like don't seem to be viewed as something that should require any accommodation to people not going through it. So many times I've heard basically "everyone goes through bad stuff, just tough it out". It's not that simple really and is hard to explain to someone else why it effects me so much (I don't even know). This results in not talking about it at all, even if I am near the point of a breakdown. I just try to hide it the best I can.

 

[Tessa120]

Brain games are irrelevant. When in the grips of depression and normal function isn’t possible there is vulnerability. Employers expect work to be done. No excuses. If you have found an environment where you can function with all of your issues- good for you. I don’t mean to be unkind but but I grew up
with the idea that regardless of issues the world didn’t owe you a living and if you had problems you played close to the vest.

People who are not sociopaths are not going to be more cruel to someone they know is sick than they are to someone they don't know is sick and therefore think is healthy and slacking. It's the opposite.

And on the phrase of owe you a living, it's not like we are asking any more than people with other illnesses. At least a few of the metabolic disorders can screw up mood at times. My mentally healthy grandma actually ended up in a psych ward because of a malfunctioning thyroid. Why should disabilities that can show up on a blood test get special accommodations and can be talked about but we shouldn't claim those same things? Why can people with things that can be measured be just fine in talking and joking about their medical issues, but we've got to hold it all in like it's a personality flaw instead of being akin to the guy who joked about his lost arm.

And you say you're glad I found a good place to work. How about 9 good places? That includes Target. Couple years ago depression had me calling out a lot, I cried when I was there, because of my loud mouth leadership and coworkers knew what was happening instead of thinking me slacking. Two weeks before Black Friday my boss told me she needed me for Black Friday but I needed to go on a medical LOA more and gave me the phone number to call, and after I was welcomed back with open arms. Would I have been welcomed back if I was thought to just have weak work ethic because no one knew of my broken brain?

 

[Cupholders]

Coming in red-eyed today (because I'm so tired) but ready to work. I'm new here and this thread is really helpful, now that I know where to look. Everything seems to have its own language, and trying to understand, so far, has done nothing but make it harder. I'm a woman of my own heart.

 

[Overadecade]

Brain games are irrelevant. When in the grips of depression and normal function isn’t possible there is vulnerability. Employers expect work to be done. No excuses. If you have found an environment where you can function with all of your issues- good for you. I don’t mean to be unkind but but I grew up
with the idea that regardless of issues the world didn’t owe you a living and if you had problems you played close to the vest.

The world owes you the same living as someone with mental health issues as everyone else. You know, by law.

"Normal function" isn't even something that exists, or can be measured. I'm still orders of magnitude more productive, organized, and intuitive than my "normal" peers even when I'm severely depressed.

 

[TTGOz]

I am one of those guys that will always listen to everybody.
if I notice someone's getting too deep into a specific topic that should be a little private I would take them into the back rooms and let them speak, done it twice at Target. I reminded them "hey, we're working, but I'd love to keep talking, lets do it later."

I think it feels good knowing there is someone there who wants to listen, I do it so well because I know how it feels talking about something and someone says "No one cares" or "I don't want to hear about it." because growing up I was told that a lot. I wouldn't ever make anyone feel lesser than me if they have something they want to talk about something.

 

[Cupholders]

Get a lawyer and shove it up there ass, target has lost it from the Top to the bottom, don't talk to any-one in your store, think about your -self just check out your options with a lawyer, you have nothing to lose and every-thing to gain ! Good -luck !

This is the attitude i adopt the most. Which is why I tend to be blunt. But me yelling at everyone about how they don't know what i do on my weekends doesnt solve anything. Guess what? Every day of my week, I meet my EXPECTATIONS. If my "at home" expectations cannot bend to my "out of house" expectations, I have to be a "good employee" EVERY day of my life. At the end of these days, someone needs me, no matter what "house" I'm at. This means I need to know what my "peer(s)" ACTUALLY need. I can play ball, but you can't tell me how to play.

 

[Tessa120]

A reminder about the original discussion.

I have to be because the physical symptoms of my anxiety still show so I make jokes about how my face gets red and how I get shaky and stressed out and it helps a lot.

Cracking jokes over symptoms that simply can't be hidden is a long way from discussing ad nauseam about how your medication gives you diarrhea. I don't think anyone here is arguing to discuss the color of the diarrhea. Should it be mentioned to explain oddities in thinking/behavior and visible symptoms? Should it be mentioned to make sure there are workplace accommodations? Should it be mentioned in case of future instabilities because your coworkers might be initial witnesses and first responders? Can it be mentioned during the social chit chat that friendly coworkers have with each other, or is American Idol, actor's drug use, sister's wedding, and the co-worker's diabetes management is fine but the brain is off the table?

 

[Fluttervale]

Mental illness is just like any other disease. It's cool to say that you have IBD, it isn't cool to describe the 45 minute dump you took last night. It's cool to say you have anxiety or bipolar, it isn't cool to describe a panic attack or suicidal thoughts.

It is important to talk about mental health but there's a line between talkinng about it and making people uncomfortable.

 

[Tessa120]

Mental illness is just like any other disease. It's cool to say that you have IBD, it isn't cool to describe the 45 minute dump you took last night. It's cool to say you have anxiety or bipolar, it isn't cool to describe a panic attack or suicidal thoughts.

It is important to talk about mental health but there's a line between talkinng about it and making people uncomfortable.

It is, but I would make it more akin to diabetes or epilepsy. Both of those, when things go horribly wrong, it not like running for a bathroom and needing to stay there. Sudden acute flare up is a medical urgent situation at best, emergency situation at worst, the person with the disorder may not be able to ask for urgent help on their own, and coworkers need to know that bad things can happen so they will recognize bad things are happening and get help before there's death or permanent damage. Same with mental illness, things can go very bad, possible urgent intervention needed, potential emergency situation, and the ill person might need someone to recognize what's happening and call for help on their behalf.

 

[Fluttervale]

It is, but I would make it more akin to diabetes or epilepsy. Both of those, when things go horribly wrong, it not like running for a bathroom and needing to stay there. Sudden acute flare up is a medical urgent situation at best, emergency situation at worst, the person with the disorder may not be able to ask for urgent help on their own, and coworkers need to know that bad things can happen so they will recognize bad things are happening and get help before there's death or permanent damage. Same with mental illness, things can go very bad, possible urgent intervention needed, potential emergency situation, and the ill person might need someone to recognize what's happening and call for help on their behalf.

Right, but that's a closed door conversation, not a sales floor conversation.

 

[Panna Jotts]

My ETL and I talk about it on the floor because we can never catch a break to be off stage for more than five seconds. It's usually related to something in the moment, though. ie "I need to go take a lorazepam, can you cover?"

 

[Tessa120]

Also, leadership may not be close. If you start hallucinating or hearing very compelling voices or anxiety either makes your blood pressure skyrocket to passing out or phobias are triggered and lead to a total breakdown or just that one straw has you pounding a mirror and hoping it breaks and hurts, and the only coworker nearby is one of the new Tks, wouldn't you want them to know what's wrong so they don't panic and do the wrong thing?

 

[commiecorvus]

One of the things I want people to know is when it is appropriate to call an ambulance and when it isn't.
I don't want them calling an ambulance for every seizure but there are certain times when it should be done.
Making sure all the staff, from the ones who have been there a while to the newbies, is a good idea.

As to the guests overhearing, I once did a short presentation on epilepsy during a huddle and a guest was walking by.
She came up to me afterwards, showing me her medical alert tag, and was effusive in her thanks for sharing the information.
She was older and had grown up when you hid that kind of thing.