Archived Target-induced Depression

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Flabbergasted

Ex-GSA
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May 20, 2014
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Since I started at Target a little over a year ago, lots of things have changed. I've seen people come and go, I've been promoted, and more recently, I've been written up. Let me be totally honest and share something about myself that's been affecting me recently, particularly after having been written up: I think I'm experiencing some type of depression as a result of the job. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm underappreciated, disliked and unwanted by not just members of leadership (TLs, ETLs, and STL), but even by fellow team members, particularly those who felt it necessary to report me for muttering a derogatory word under my breath. For a while now, I've felt like nothing I accomplish at work is good enough. I have literally been called a disappointment. I'm looking for new jobs right now, but I feel ready to go sometime within the next month whether or not I land another job, because I just don't feel I can handle this shithole anymore. I didn't want to say that, and I didn't want to believe it. I don't want to feel like a failure as a worker and as a human being. I had better hopes for my time with Spot, but things just didn't go the way they should have and I'm ready to give up this part of my life.

One year with Target has been long and exhausting. My performance in other aspects of life have suffered as a result; my first year grades in college were poor, I barely see my immediate family anymore due to being either at work or school (rarely at home). I don't know how some people manage to stick around even longer -- 10 years, 20 years, etc. I just don't get it. I'm sure their experiences have been better than mine. If I didn't have a boss who probably just wants to get rid of me, maybe my experience would have faired better. If I had been better with the politicking aspect of retail, I'm sure I'd already be a TL. After all, they promoted one individual from softlines TM to GSA to TL in just two months time. I suppose if there's anything to take from this experience, it's to kiss as much booty as possible. Sad indeed.

Has anyone else suffered such mental exhaustion and/or depression from working at this company?
 
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http://www.thebreakroom.org/index.php?threads/anyone-here-deal-with-mental-illness.10892/

I have been with spot over 10 years. It used to be a great company. I have learn to have patience & tolerance over the impossible expectations, nowadays. When you get your new job, take your time to learn the job well. Hold off on try getting promoted too soon. Watch learn & listen to the others, instead. Take good notes.
Focus on school for now.
All good advice, especially the bolded.
 
I can relate. Taking classes and working at Spot at the same time isn't easy. That's why I decreased my hours and only made myself available Thursday-Sunday. I need those weekdays to focus on schoolwork. Also, my weekend shifts end early afternoon so I have time to study and do work.
 
From the way it sounds like you job's affecting you, I'd suggest setting up a few sessions with a counselor and seeing if that helps. Especially if you think you're dealing with depression. Its not much of a time commitment; an hour a 1-2 weeks can go a long way to helping.

I know when I was struggling to finish my degree, having that person to talk to really helped.
 
I was with the company for 9 years. First five were great. I call them the Big Bob years. Prior to Ulrich stepping down, Target was in its hay day. It was focused and growing profitably.

Least few were ridiculous. TMs getting written up for silly stuff. Internals being passed over for external hires. After Ulrich's departure, Target started doing some odd things. Building too quick. Risky ventures. And ultimately put the weight on its lower employees.
 
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Sad how retail and many blue collar jobs have changed from jobs that may not be glamorous but I can make a living (or buy house or kid to college if I'm prudent) to what we have today. Where did decent wages and hours get lost?
How or can we as a society get those things back?
 
I've run into Spot-Induced burnout twice now... Yes you can even get a bit depressed from it.

Best thing to do is re-evaluate your life and what you want to do with it. In my case I had a degree and decided to stop making excuses and USE IT! :)
 
We've already had 3 TMs leave & I've been picking up the slack since the others are dithering little kids.
In a moment of pique, I went to HR & grabbed a voluntary term sheet.
I'm just holding it for now but it's making them nervous.
 
We've already had 3 TMs leave & I've been picking up the slack since the others are dithering little kids.
In a moment of pique, I went to HR & grabbed a voluntary term sheet.
I'm just holding it for now but it's making them nervous.
For kicks I put in a couple applications and schedule the interview right before work. Showing up in makeup always gets questioned and the answer makes them very nervous, even if they would never flat out admit it...
 
I can relate. Taking classes and working at Spot at the same time isn't easy. That's why I decreased my hours and only made myself available Thursday-Sunday. I need those weekdays to focus on schoolwork. Also, my weekend shifts end early afternoon so I have time to study and do work.

Yes, I actually recently changed my availability so that I'm available only Fri-Mon, effective June 22nd when my summer classes start. My ETL-GE and ETL-HR gave me a hard time about it and took a loooong time to approve it, even after I had said it was for school (which usually gets auto-approved). But they seem committed to giving me a hard time. They said it would be bad for "business needs." Well, then maybe you need to staff the place better.
 
I think cutting back your availability will help, immensely. I know you liked the paychecks, but it just isn't worth it when school and your health need to come first.

Yes, the paychecks have been nice. ETL-HR reminded me that as a GSA I am one of the few people in the building supposedly "guaranteed" (by verbal, not written agreement) 30+ hours. But I have to make a choice between my sanity and my bank account. My sanity wins this time.
 
Yes, I actually recently changed my availability so that I'm available only Fri-Mon, effective June 22nd when my summer classes start. My ETL-GE and ETL-HR gave me a hard time about it and took a loooong time to approve it, even after I had said it was for school (which usually gets auto-approved). But they seem committed to giving me a hard time. They said it would be bad for "business needs." Well, then maybe you need to staff the place better.
The way I look at it is that if they can accommodate my needs, great. But if they can't, maybe Target isn't the right place for me and I should start looking elsewhere. But yeah, I think a lot of stress will be taken off when your new schedule goes into effect.
 
5 years at target and I've been dealing with depression since I was 15. It wasn't until I was promoted and had to transfer to a terrible store, STL, HR, and SF ETL. This all resulted in a terrible work culture and me calling out at least twice a month because I couldn't get out of bed. Add going to school full time and low self esteem I still wonder how I'm around. I won't lie there are days I have called the suicide hotline after work. It's hard going to class, going to work and getting written up and attitude from an ETL on a power trip. Things are getting better but there are days when I want to break down and just go off on everybody but it's not their fault. Take care and be kind to yourself. Don't let spot get to you and make you suffer. It's not worth it.
 
Quit. It'll allow you to really focus on getting your application out there and better chance at landing a job you want rather than a job that's better than the bullseye.
 
Its pretty sad that so many of us are suffering from job induced depression at a company that claims to care about their team.

I feel the same way. I have been with my store for over three years now. Despite having prior experience in retail management and a degree, when I expressed interest in leadership, they made me jump through hoops being "developed" (aka doing half of my team lead's responsibilities). I finally was put on the TL bench over a year ago and subsequently been passed over on five separate occasions when positions opened up in my district (that I know of!).

The worst was the most recent. There are three people benched at my store including myself and a few months ago they shadily hired an external for an open TL spot. Without even announcing the position was open, or even talking to any of us about why we weren't being considered. Basically the person was hired as a TM and just got offered the leadership position.

I have never felt so disrespected in my life. I work my ass off and I am just wasting my time here. I can't even stand to be there anymore. Sometimes I find myself breaking down in tears and trying to hide it where no one can see. The freezer is a pretty good spot for that, if any of you need one. I just feel so supremely unwelcome there now. Because despite having plenty of time to say *anything* to me about the situation, none of the leadership team has bothered. In fact, I don't know if I am just being paranoid or what, but I feel like I am getting the cold shoulder from all of them lately, even the ones I used to get on super well with. I constantly feel embarrassed, like they are all laughing at my aspirations behind my back while they have already decided never to move me up. And of course never be honest about it, because hey, I am an awesome employee and who cares if they are literally wasting my life, right? And I have to grit my teeth and be nice to these people every fucking day.

I feel so trapped and helpless. Because I have to pay my bills and there are no better jobs in this Podunk town. Right now I just feel hopeless and worthless.
 
Sorry for the rant. I needed to get it off my chest and figured a few of you could relate. :(
Don't ever apologize for expressing how you feel about that place. You are amongst friends. I don't blame you for how you feel. When it comes to leadership, most stores are all about having a degree, even for a TL position. It's a real shame. :rolleyes:
 
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