Archived why do ETLs twist your words around?

[Midoninger]

each time i talk to my ETL they seem to like to take what ive said and turn it around on me to make me at fault.
EXAMPLE 1:
me: "the issue im having with my TL is they do things to aggravate me. when i explained that certain things were made a priority, per your word, they said they didnt know what the word "priority" meant and to stop using it its confusing them."
ETL: "you realize you want to be a team lead but youre telling me you have anger management problems?"

EXAMPLE 2:
ETL: "how is everything going? do you need any help?"
me: "good, and yes id like some help, there are 76 POGs in the gun and FFs have been dropping all morning."
ETL: "what could you have done to prevent this situation from happening? my challenge to you is to figure out how to avoid having so many POGs build up."

the joke to example 2 is that when i came in he told me to start with pulling the POGs because there was 30 from the day before.
why do ETLs do this?

 

[Him]

I've seen this before and experienced this myself.. If it is true you do want to become TL, the questions are being asked to see how you respond to "a difficult situation" and not lose your cool. It's really stressful, trust me I know. When talking to anyone in leadership higher than a TL, they tend to respond to what I have dubbed as "Targetnese". (The Target language) As I said before, it's quite stressful sometimes just trying to get your point across without it falling under "Core Roles" or "Leadership Expectations". Best suggestion, before you explain any of your future situations, tell them "Can I just speak to you, (blank), without the Target Terms and Expectations?" That way hopefully you both will have a median and can get on the same page to finding solutions. Good luck

 

[monkeyman90]

each time i talk to my ETL they seem to like to take what ive said and turn it around on me to make me at fault.
EXAMPLE 1:
me: "the issue im having with my TL is they do things to aggravate me. when i explained that certain things were made a priority, per your word, they said they didnt know what the word "priority" meant and to stop using it its confusing them."
ETL: "you realize you want to be a team lead but youre telling me you have anger management problems?"

EXAMPLE 2:
ETL: "how is everything going? do you need any help?"
me: "good, and yes id like some help, there are 76 POGs in the gun and FFs have been dropping all morning."
ETL: "what could you have done to prevent this situation from happening? my challenge to you is to figure out how to avoid having so many POGs build up."

the joke to example 2 is that when i came in he told me to start with pulling the POGs because there was 30 from the day before.
why do ETLs do this?

sounds like you want to be a tl and frustrated with the process. it sucks for a lot.

#1 should be hey tl isn't following your direction and giving different directions. can we come to a consensus on how to deal with it?

#2 why are there 76 pogs in the gun and ff wasn't planned? never give an etl problems. give them solutions. hey there are 76 pogs on the gun, i'll pull them for you, but we need to make sure x does ff.

learn target speak. it'll make your life a lot easier. i haven't met a metric for months but i talked to it in target speak and everyone group down was happy with me.

 

[commiecorvus]

Both folks here are giving you good advice, especially if you want to move up with Spot.

You have to learn the lingo, think of these not as bullshit problems but 'opportunities'.
If you have way too much to do you don't ask for help, you 'partner' with someone to 'accomplish the goal.'

And damn right they don't want you telling them about problems.
If you come to them with something, you had better have a solution in your pocket and it better not include any extra headaches for them.

So before you go to them make sure you think through what their response will be and think of the one that would be the most obnoxious and useless (which will probably be the most likely) then decide how you would handle that so you can cut them off at the pass.
Be one step ahead of them.

 

[anathema]

monkeyman is right, no problems, only solutions. Always have a plan.

 

[Xanatos]

Also, saying you were "aggravated" because your plans got changed is not good. Plans change on an hourly basis (or more frequently than that). I realize I am way oversimplifying your situation, but that's probably how it came off when you told the ETL.

 

[redeye58]

And if you don't have a solution, approach with a suggestion.
Ex: When I came in, there were 30 POGs in the gun & no one is handling FF.
Would you like me to do the POGs (which are up to 76) & see if Fred can handle FF or would you rather me take care of FF & have Griselda continue with the POGs?

 

[HRZone]

Monkey man said it best some leaders will think you are just whining or complaining which is frustrating when you have a valid concern. But you can make yourself look good by taking the steps listed by others above. Good luck!

 

[Midoninger]

well with example 1 i went to the ETL, simply because i was tired of trying to reach a middle ground with my TL. with example 2 he asked me a question and then asked if i needed help. i answered honestly and regretted it. now i just say everything is fine and persevere through my work load.

as for having a plan, whether i do or dont isnt the issue. my problem is when i do have a plan and am working on making it happen, while im working im focused on what im doing so when asked, "what is your plan of action?" its hard to switch gears in my head to answer the question "superfastimmediately" and i believe it comes off as i dont know what im doing im just doing. which, may not be the case.

as for me being a TL? yes i did apply for a TL role a year and a half ago.... but only he throws it in my face. i wont say whether or not i see myself as a TL or if i have any intertest as this point, however, i will say im sick of him holding that over my head. i didnt get the job nor did a get benched. from what i understood my TL at the time, who is long gone, threw me under the bus, the train, and the crashing 747 so i wouldnt get the job. in fact now that im thinking about it this same ETL said he wouldnt never see me as a TL as im only useful as a TM.

 

[redeye58]

in fact now that im thinking about it this same ETL said he wouldnt never see me as a TL as im only useful as a TM.

....until you were to decide to transfer; THEN let's see how useful you are to him.

 

[Midoninger]

....until you were to decide to transfer; THEN let's see how useful you are to him.

haha! WELL! as a matter of fact i did try to transfer to another store! and he was very hurt about that. of the 2 years ive worked under him i got my first and likely last compliment! "we cant have you transfer, whether you know it or not you make a big impact on this store and it would really hurt us if you left." and for the unofficial record that is this page, because the backroom role elsewhere was for 3am. sorry but no. my days of doing that shift are hopefully over!

 

[redeye58]

im only useful as a TM.

That's when you look at him & say "Wow. Way to encourage/develop your team."

 

[Midoninger]

hmm ... ill have to remember that as he wants to speak to me about the market team change. he assumed i wanted to be in it since i kinda of am, however i see opportunity with instocks/backroom, as that TL asked me to join. so thanks for the "bullet for the chamber" so to speak!

 

[redeye58]

Any time.
Also turning things back on him can be a subtle jab.
Ex: Since you seem dissatisfied with my handling of today's duties, how would YOU have handled it?
Please be specific since it's difficult to develop leadership skills without a good role model & I'd REALLY like to put your practices into play.

 

[cobycord]

Any time.
Also turning things back on him can be a subtle jab.
Ex: Since you seem dissatisfied with my handling of today's duties, how would YOU have handled it?
Please be specific since it's difficult to develop leadership skills without a good role model & I'd REALLY like to put your practices into play.

I honestly completely agree with this...if you're a leader and you can't convey what they did wrong and tell exactly how you would have done it differently and speak to how it would have been more effective then you shouldn't say s#$t......also I've been told i'm slightly petty and that response would've been right up my alley when I was a TM LOL