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When I was on the salesfloor, I had a guest snap their fingers and whistle at me like I was a dog. I just kept on walking.

To that one TL: I don't care how long you've been at Target and how long you've been a TL, I don't work for you. You have no people skills, and you're obviously not used to someone telling you no. If you talk to me again like I'm your little bitch, I'll probably cut you.

15 years ago, my procedure would've involved smoking it.

I have the same policy.

We've had the same issue at my store as well (hell, probably happens in every store). It got to the point where they had to purposely hold some of the food back just so those of us that work at night would have some. I'd get to work at Open, or 9 am, and the food would be all gone already. A...

Okay. Sure, I can say I'm joking...but me and my therapist know better.

Then you're lucky. My parents made a point of filming the conception. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't whip out the video at all my birthday parties as a kid.

Another Darwin joke? I didn't realize I'd made an initial one...

Its possible. Were you conceived in a circus tent outside of Des Moines like I was?

Often, while at my post at the doors, I'll usually try and make sure the area is clear of carts. My store is small, and there is not much space at all between the cart wall and the doors. Quite often, however, I'll just be standing there, doin' my AP thing, and a guest will just push a cart...

Man, if I had a dime for everytime I've been called racist at work...well, I'd have 50 cents. For the record, I wasn't following them because they were black or hispanic or smurf, I followed them because they were stealing. Quit stealing, and I won't follow you, jackass!

I'm not racist. I hate everyone equally.

As AP, I would find that utterly hilarious, but yeah, probably not a good idea.