Archived 53 Thoughts Every Girl Has While Shopping At Target

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Perishable Assistant Wizard
Aug 20, 2013
in case you missed this one here it is:

1. Wait, which door should I go in? Ohhh automatic door. This is awkward.
2. Whoa, I don’t want the cart with the receipt in it. NOPE.
3. This cart looks pretty clean.
4. I really just need groceries, but maybe I can just look at the clothes.
5. Omg is that a new line?!?!
6. Wait, do they have the swimsuits out?!
7. I don’t think they’ve been picked over that much yet — better take a look.
8. Well, I have time to try on a few real quick.
9. Ugh, I can only take in six items. Time to make a decision.
10. I just wish my dressing room tag would fit on the hanger.
11. Umm, is this mirror warped? I don’t really look like that.

12. Crap, it’s already been 30 minutes. I need to move on.
13. OK, I’m gonna get this suit. I mean it’s so cheap I basically have to.
14. I wonder if those shoes my friend had are still here.
15. Oh my god, all these shoes on sale! I have to try these on.
16. I mean I don’t REALLY need another pair of wedges but they’re only $14.98.
17. Ohhhh the new sandals are out.
18. If I don’t get these today they’ll probably be gone next week. Better get them.
19. Those would be so cute with that dress I saw earlier.
20. I wonder if they have my size on the fitting room discard rack.
21. OK, on to the groceries. I hope they have the Easter candy

22. I don’t get people and that dollar section.
23. Wait, did that lady have socks with bunnies on them?
24. Are those only a dollar?
25. OK I basically HAVE to get them, they’re a dollar.
26. I think I need this cup too. It’s so cute and basically pays for itself.
27. Is that a CAT COLLAR? I don’t have a cat but I know someone who does. How cute would that be?
28. Oh, I see the Easter candy. Better pick up some Reese’s Eggs. I’m just getting into the Easter spirit.
29. I can give them out at work; I totally won’t eat them all myself.
30. What is that? Is that a pomegranate drink? It says it’s supposed to be good for your skin. I should try it.

31. Wait, the tortilla chips are two for $5. I’ll grab two.
32. I should get some guacamole to go with.
33. That new hummus flavor sounds so good.
34. What should I dip in hummus?
35. Woah, that hottie just went to the freezer section. I probably need something from the freezer section.
37. Are those reduced-fat chicken fingers?!
38. I wonder if chicken fingers would be good with hummus.
39. Woah, that lady has the cutest pillow in her cart.
40. I should check out home goods. I mean, my apartment could really use some updating.

41. Is that wall art? That would be way easier than painting.
42. I totally have this quote on my Pinterest board.
43. I should go before I spend any more money.
44. Are those new Essie colors? I could really use a new spring color.
45. Ugh, should I get the light green or the lighter green?
46. Maybe I should just get both. I mean I’ll use them.
47. These lines are so long.
48. When did my cart get so full?
49. Is that a new EOS flavor? Yum.
50. My bill is HOW MUCH?
51. How am I going to carry all these bags?
52. Was I really just in there for two hours?
53. Shit, I forgot shampoo. I’ll go back next week

this is not from me go and see it
Aug 19, 2013
Hence, why I do most of the shopping for my family.

Recently, my wife was complaining about how everything she has had been worn too often and needs to find some new clothes. Immediately afterwards, she grabs a shirt off a hanger, cuts the tag off of it, tries it on, sighs in frustration, and throws it on the bed.

Me (picking up the tag): Worn this one too often huh?
Her: It doesn't fit well.
Me: So why did you buy it?
Her: It was on clearance for $10!!
Me: And how long ago was that?
Her: About 6 months. Why does that matter?
Me: Because that's an hour and 15 minutes of my time spent at a crappy second job just so a hanger can be decorated. At least setting $10 on fire would be entertaining.

Needless to say, she didn't speak to me the rest of the morning.
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