Archived A question about sexual harassment

[Bullselle]

I know it's common for businesses to sweep instances of sexual harassment under the rug, but people are also slow to report it when they witness it. I've already seen a few instances that I'd call questionable and one pretty bold one that was done by a TM to a TL. He was saying a couple of inappropriate things to her and being too touchy, and I was literally two feet away the whole time. I knew it bothered her, but she laughed it off and I felt like it wasn't bothering her enough for her to report it. Plus it was none of my business anyway, so I said nothing. But damn was that an uncomfortable couple of minutes before I left the room.
So I was wondering, have any of you guys ever seen instances of sexual harassment and just ignored it?

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Document events, if it makes you uncomfortable & report them to hr or Etl.

 

[commiecorvus]

HLM has got it right.
Every time something like that happens write it down, time, people involved and exactly what happened.
When you report it try make sure and use the words hostile work environment.

In answer to your to your question about seeing and ignoring harassment.
Things have changed over the years.
I worked in restaurants in my young days and saw (even participated in) things that were sexual harassment and I considered myself to be a feminist.
Even then I walked out of a job with most of the staff when it turned out the owner of the place liked to pin the waitresses in the serve station and feel them up.
A little self awareness and the birth of two daughters changed that.
Now I don't put up with any of it.
You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

 

[Bullselle]

I know you guys are right, but I just can't do it. I feel too weird about it. Plus I don't think she would want me to report it.

 

[Guest]

I see weird shit all the time like team members hugging. I don't think that's appropriate especially on the sales floor. Commie, a restaurant owner holding a waitress against her will and touching her? Wtf?

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

I know you guys are right, but I just can't do it. I feel too weird about it. Plus I don't think she would want me to report it.

Don't let fear defeat you. Document events & report it to your Etl-hr or stl. It appears that it brothers you greatly & causing a high level of stress for you. That's why you are asking for help here.

 

[commiecorvus]

Commie, a restaurant owner holding a waitress against her will and touching her? Wtf?

Oh yeah.
I'm sure older waitresses can tell you worse stories.
Thank g-d things have changed and people realize that woman aren't supposed to laugh off that kind of behavior.

 

[Guest]

Pinning someone down to a wall or the ground and touching them sexually is rape in my opinion. I hope that restaurant owner lost his restaurant and got what he deserved.

 

[Retail Girl]

If you see something and say nothing, then you are condoning it.

 

[redeye58]

Document everything; that TL may be hoping that SOMEONE will see & say SOMETHING.

 

[PinkZinnia]

i feel GE is abusing me - not sexually. I do document everything. It's at the point where my demeanor has changed. I cringe when he is LOD. Never want to be alone with him because of the things he says- and he makes sure we are alone when he has derogatory comments.

 

[Bullselle]

I know you guys are right, but I just can't do it. I feel too weird about it. Plus I don't think she would want me to report it.

Don't let fear defeat you. Document events & report it to your Etl-hr or stl. It appears that it brothers you greatly & causing a high level of stress for you. That's why you are asking for help here.

By the way, I'm fairly new, so I don't know if she's an ETL or a SrTL, that's why I just put TL, but she's pretty high up there.
I wouldn't say it's causing me a great deal of stress right now. It would be stressful if I decided to report it, because that would probably lead to the ETL treating it like I'm blowing it out of proportion.
Anyway, I'll document it and keep my eye out.

 

[redeye58]

i feel GE is abusing me - not sexually. I do document everything. It's at the point where my demeanor has changed. I cringe when he is LOD. Never want to be alone with him because of the things he says- and he makes sure we are alone when he has derogatory comments.

Get a personal recording device. Use it.
When you go to HR about the things he says & he denies them, play it back.
This falls under "creating a hostile work environment".

 

[PinkZinnia]

I believe recording without the other person having knowledge is illegal. At least in my state it is.

 

[semantics]

California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, and Washington.
Would be all parties must be aware of the recording in most circumstances, else you only need 1 party(you). Ofc that's for legal proceedings in courts, probably could get away with recording anyways and just reporting it to HR for Spot to deal with internally. A hostile work environment is a hostile work environment.

 

[hannahlouwho]

HLM has got it right.
Every time something like that happens write it down, time, people involved and exactly what happened.
When you report it try make sure and use the words hostile work environment.

In answer to your to your question about seeing and ignoring harassment.
Things have changed over the years.
I worked in restaurants in my young days and saw (even participated in) things that were sexual harassment and I considered myself to be a feminist.
Even then I walked out of a job with most of the staff when it turned out the owner of the place liked to pin the waitresses in the serve station and feel them up.
A little self awareness and the birth of two daughters changed that.
Now I don't put up with any of it.
You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

So true. I was harassed all the time at my first job (at age 16) buy men in their late 20s. They would comment on my body in ways that made me cringe and touched me inappropriately. I wish I would've said something at the time but I was too afraid, as the manager was one of the guys participating. Now I regret not speaking up because others may have to deal with the same stuff from them.

 

[signingminion]

When I worked in fast food our management company list a 5mil sexual harassment lawsuit. Let's just say I got schooled by a team of layers on the minute details of what is and isn't kosher. For a while weekend.

If you do nothing else, take notes for down the road.

 

[Kaybee988]

We got a whole bunch of seasonal hires and this one guy keeps alienating all the female team members by making lewd comments and just being way too inappropriate. 4 other team members that aren't even in his work station complained about him to my TL. He commented to me that my butt was cute and that he was thinking about it since yesterday because I've been wearing leggings all week. Dude, the number one thing they focus on in orientation is sexual harassment.

 

[redeye58]

Next time he comments, I'd bring him up short & say (loudly):
"Dude! Does the term 'sexual harassment' mean anything to you? If not, it will soon enough!"
Then start documenting & taking it to HR.
Not in this era, not now, not EVER.

 

[commiecorvus]

We got a whole bunch of seasonal hires and this one guy keeps alienating all the female team members by making lewd comments and just being way too inappropriate. 4 other team members that aren't even in his work station complained about him to my TL. He commented to me that my butt was cute and that he was thinking about it since yesterday because I've been wearing leggings all week. Dude, the number one thing they focus on in orientation is sexual harassment.

I'm sorry even if the woman he's making the comments to won't say anything I sure as hell would.
Once to him just as a courtesy to make it clear that I would report if he did it again, the second time to the TL so I would be going up the ladder properly, third time to HR, if there was a fourth it would be to the STL.
The only way to make someone stop is to stop them.

 

[Bullselle]

We got a whole bunch of seasonal hires and this one guy keeps alienating all the female team members by making lewd comments and just being way too inappropriate. 4 other team members that aren't even in his work station complained about him to my TL. He commented to me that my butt was cute and that he was thinking about it since yesterday because I've been wearing leggings all week. Dude, the number one thing they focus on in orientation is sexual harassment.

Wow. What has the TL done to stop this?

 

[Kaybee988]

We got a whole bunch of seasonal hires and this one guy keeps alienating all the female team members by making lewd comments and just being way too inappropriate. 4 other team members that aren't even in his work station complained about him to my TL. He commented to me that my butt was cute and that he was thinking about it since yesterday because I've been wearing leggings all week. Dude, the number one thing they focus on in orientation is sexual harassment.

Wow. What has the TL done to stop this?

I only found out today that he's had other complaints made about him. He's moved to overnight shifts which is what he was originally hired for so I don't know if he's going to be talked to or if they're going to fire him early since he was hired as a seasonal TM.

 

[Guest]

Team members are allowed to wear leggings?

Butt was cute? Unless you are Ron Burgundy, don't even try. Seriously, commenting on a team member's butt? How old is this person? Is this person a rapist or sexual predator or something? Sounds like a horny perv to me. Hopefully, he gets what he deserves.

 

[buliSBI]

The victim doesn't have to report it. When you see something going over the bounds of being Friendly, all parties (even witnesses) are responsible in reporting it.

 

[go ahead]

My store has this TM he's been there for several years he's also deaf he's always massaging people's shoulders both men and women and nobody ever complains about him, I seen people cringe and kind of shooo him away he complies he doesn't come near me but I see him touching others' shoulders I guess it doesn't bother people.