Archived Creepy TM

[BuffySummers]

So there's a guy (older, 50+, and married) who works in my store. Overly chatty to some of the female workers including myself, all of us under 30urs old. When he first started he kept wanting to chat with me on my breaks - I like my alone time, he works in a totally different area, so I was short with him, don't want to chat with everyone on my breaks. My choice. For several month he would sit with me if I was on break and attempt small talk (while I star intently at my phone) and he would try to chat with me while I worked if he passed through, even waiting until I finished helping a guest, to say hi. I finally started just ignoring him. Which seemed to really piss him off. He will even stop and eaves drop on conversations in having with my male co-workers. Then I find out afew weeks later he has been trying to flirt (poorly flirt) with a 21 yr old co-worker, and he kept asking her out, even when she brought up his wife. She finally made it clear she knew about his wife and he got annoyed and asked who told her about his wife (pretty sure he thinks it was me ). Then he moved on to another co-worker who's maybe 25. He asked her about a product target doesn't carry, she explained we don't carry that, he insists he's bought it here before, recently. But target doesn't, and hasn't for over 5 years. Then he asked who orders it, and she told him it's a corporate decision. So he said he'd email them. Comes back two days later, has the same conversation with her. Then another day He sat at her table when she was on break at Starbucks, complimented her boots, and stroked her from her boots up to her knee.
We three all work in the same dept, and he still stares at us as he passes by. It's pretty creepy. And I don't think he's giving up on the 3rd coworker yet.

Is this something I can go to HR about? I don't think it is... atleast not yet. But also figure he's probably being inappropriate to other young females aswell.

Thanks.

 

[Fluttervale]

Please tell HR.

What happens is these situations become he said she said when the shit hits the fan. Having a history of minor complaints and statements makes it A TON easier for HR to get rid of him once someone does officially complain.

 

[Jimmy Neutron]

This is called sexual harassment. Just tell HR

 

[SigningLady]

I would also encourage the other female coworkers to go to HR if they have felt creeped out. Having more than one person complain makes the pattern of harassment look worse.

 

[BuffySummers]

Thank you guys! I thought so. But my coworkers don't like to "cause a fuss," and think I over react.
Similar thing happened a year or two ago, with an Insta-cart guy and three different coworkers (one who was 17) (but that guy was more abrupt and persistant). After I reported that guy they found out he was harassing young women at other stores, aswell. And shortly after he was terminated.

 

[SigningLady]

I always follow the general rule of "trust your gut." If it feels creepy and off to you, it probably is. And that's not something you or anyone else should have to deal with at work. Ever.

About 8 years ago we had a new guy start on flow and I swear he was following me around while I was working freight, he always seems to be nearby. Creeped me out. He didn't last long at the job so I never got to the point of reporting him. A year or so later, he shot a stranger in a parking lot while he was in the middle of a domestic dispute.

 

[redeye58]

Sounds like same song, second verse.
If you've noticed what he's doing to other girls, just imagine the ones you HAVEN'T seen & get to your HR ASAP.
What he's doing is creating a hostile work place by making female coworkers uncomfortable at their place of employment.
If you can't persuade the others to talk to HR, at least mention what you've observed but be persistent about YOUR experience.

 

[Aredhel]

No one likes a fuss at work and there are those that exploit that. Perhaps a short, gruff statement will work. “Not interested “ or “Leave me alone”. I would make an immediate supervisor aware of this, both yours and his. Allow no touching. Remember there are parts of the store that have audio and video surveillance- this could work to your advantage as a threat or as evidence. It sucks but the number one person who keeps you safe is you.

 

[GoodyNN]

Absolutely go to HR. Strongly suggest that the other ladies mentioned in your first post do the same. None of you are causing a fuss. He is. with his inappropriate behavior. You are simply responding in an appropriate way to his stepping over the line.

 

[Planosss]

So there's a guy (older, 50+, and married) who works in my store. Overly chatty to some of the female workers including myself, all of us under 30urs old. When he first started he kept wanting to chat with me on my breaks - I like my alone time, he works in a totally different area, so I was short with him, don't want to chat with everyone on my breaks. My choice. For several month he would sit with me if I was on break and attempt small talk (while I star intently at my phone) and he would try to chat with me while I worked if he passed through, even waiting until I finished helping a guest, to say hi. I finally started just ignoring him. Which seemed to really piss him off. He will even stop and eaves drop on conversations in having with my male co-workers. Then I find out afew weeks later he has been trying to flirt (poorly flirt) with a 21 yr old co-worker, and he kept asking her out, even when she brought up his wife. She finally made it clear she knew about his wife and he got annoyed and asked who told her about his wife (pretty sure he thinks it was me ). Then he moved on to another co-worker who's maybe 25. He asked her about a product target doesn't carry, she explained we don't carry that, he insists he's bought it here before, recently. But target doesn't, and hasn't for over 5 years. Then he asked who orders it, and she told him it's a corporate decision. So he said he'd email them. Comes back two days later, has the same conversation with her. Then another day He sat at her table when she was on break at Starbucks, complimented her boots, and stroked her from her boots up to her knee.
We three all work in the same dept, and he still stares at us as he passes by. It's pretty creepy. And I don't think he's giving up on the 3rd coworker yet.

Is this something I can go to HR about? I don't think it is... atleast not yet. But also figure he's probably being inappropriate to other young females aswell.

Thanks.

Are you jelly?

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Document all events. Go to hr now, please.

 

[starmaster1000]

stroked her from her boots up to her knee

Fuck that. Speak up.

 

[commiecorvus]

Take what you wrote here and clean it up a bit.
Make it like a news article, where, when, who, what, why.
Go to HR and give it to them.
Make it clear you expect something to be done.
By having something on paper, it makes it more serious for those types.

 

[commiecorvus]

Are you jelly?

Side Note: Even in The Break Room where we speak fluent snark at all times, that was a bit ... ick.

 

[Pinballmaster]

If this guy literally touched another team member this needs reported immediately. You should never feel unsafe at work.
Some people are just "weird" and don't know the boundary lines. Regardless, I would sit down with HR so they can keep an eye on this.
If others have witnessed the same behavior it would be to your advantage to also have them report it.

 

[KindaOverIt]

HR, like yesterday! This sounds insane. Sorry you have to deal with this

 

[FlowTeamChick]

Absolutely go to HR. "Not wanting to make a fuss" is not a good reason to not speak up. He's almost certainly behaved similarly at other jobs and how many other women have let it slide, thinking it wasn't worth the bother to report it. One of these times, he's going to go too far and someone will be traumatized. Could even be you! Please, don't let it get that far. This guy's butt needs to be kicked out the door.

 

[WalksforMiles]

I swear to fucking god my store never gets rid of the creeps!

They go on and on moving from one girl to the next.
The crazy things is leadership actually likes these POS dudes.

 

[HRLady]

Is this something I can go to HR about?

Yes, like everyone else has said, please notify HR about the sexual harassment ASAP. Don't wait until it is too late. Get this creep on HR's radar early so that they can start documenting everything that they need to potentially term him if he doesn't stop. HR/Leaders can also keep a lookout for his inappropriate behavior and intervene if they notice him harassing people.

Here is the Harassment-free Workplace policy straight from the TM Handbook: