Archived Funny Things you hear on the walkie

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At my store we have an ETL that thinks she is gods gift to earth.
Me: cart attendant come in
ETL: go for me
Me: I said cart attendant
Me: cart attendant to lane 5
ETL: team was somebody call me to reg 5
Me: I was calling the cart attefsnt but since you seem to be responding you can help with this carry out since your salary I have to take my lunch before compliance

Me: oh there's our DTL. LOD come in....
Me: LOD come in
DTL: hi
me: hi how are you. Let me call the LOD for you. LOD come in
LOD: am in my office ordering lunch is it something important?
Me: no I am just standing next to the DTL they wanted to know your location
 
An ETL would radio another ETL and ask her to ask a certain part of the overnight team to get a task done. She got yelled at over the radio for it.

ETL 1: Can you tell softlines to move the carts they have blocking the aisle so we can move pallets through there?

ETL 2: You have a radio, use it to talk to them! Come on!
 
I personally love all the newbies when they call for the most random shit on the planet. Some of the stuff I can understand, but the "do we sell puppies here?" made me laugh to no end. Our AP guy also doesn't understand the concept of going to channel 4 and does not shut up. This is also the same man who got on the walkie as we were closing and proceeded to do one hell of a good impression of Bane from The Dark Knight Rises.
 
LOD: Sean, are you there?
5 minutes later - LOD: Sean, if you're there, please respond
5 minutes later - LOD: Sean, do you have a walkie?
5 minutes later - LOD: Is anybody near Sean who can let him answer with your walkie?
5 minutes later - LOD: Has anybody seen Sean?
5 minutes later - Sean: Was somebody looking for me?
 
doxiemama said:
LOD: Sean, are you there?
5 minutes later - LOD: Sean, if you're there, please respond
5 minutes later - LOD: Sean, do you have a walkie?
5 minutes later - LOD: Is anybody near Sean who can let him answer with your walkie?
5 minutes later - LOD: Has anybody seen Sean?
5 minutes later - Sean: Was somebody looking for me?
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Every store with a walkie shortage...
 
A very valuable TL took a few days off work. Our STL was not notified.
STL: Jill do you copy Jill?

STL: Jill do you copy?

STL: Jill.....has anyone seen Jill?

TM: Uhhh..Jill's not here today..

STL: WHAT? What do you mean she is NOT HERE?

TM: She's off until Wednesday...

STL: WEDNESDAY?!:eek:
 
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Every store with a walkie shortage...
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Or a TM who purposefully keeps the volume so low that he can't hear any calls. Our folks do it all the time so they don't have to respond to calls to come up to the lanes when it gets busy.
 
SFSFun said:
Every store with a walkie shortage...
Click to expand...

Hardlines TM - LOD, this is HLTM clocking in, where would you like me to start?
LOD - Hey, HLTM. Can you please start the zone in Market?
HLTM - Sure thing, just so you know there are no walkies up here, borrowed this one to check in. I'm headed to Market.
LOD - No problem, just grab one when you can.
*Less Than 5 Minutes Later*
LOD - Team Member in Market please, Team Member in Market?
LOD - Market, please. Team Member working Market?
LOD - HLTM, you should be in Market!
LOD - HLTM, helloooo?
Electronics TM - What part of "There aren't any walkies up here," didn't you understand?
TPS - Buuuuuurn!
 
SnorlaxTM said:
And I'm always amused by one of the daytime fitting room operators.

Op: "Guest service you have a call! Please it it up!"
Op: "Hello guest services? Please pick up the call."
Op: "Is anyone at Guest Service there's a call waiting"
GS: "I'm with a guest give me a second."
Op: "Ok.... GUEST SERVICE YOU HAVE A CALL WAITING"

Like this isn't even like the 2nd attempt yet to get in contact someone, this is the first call. Rapid fire nonstop "GUEST SERVICE????" over the walkie.
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We had a situation like this at our store on my first day, only it was a tad different. My trainer was showing me how to use the phone, and we had to direct a call to the service desk. And again. And again. This poor lady called like, three times in an hour, still nothing.

Also, I got a giggle out of this.
TM1: Whoever is in infants, I have a stack of jeans for you.
TM2: Oh my gosh, thank you SO much! I always wanted another stack of jeans!
 
The problem with Guest Service taking calls (at least in my store) is that they are almost always helping a guest, so when the phone rings and they're with a guest there is nothing they can do and the call just loops back to the operator. If we get busy, I ask the operator to park any guest service calls on 2280 so that I can take them on my cordless phone when I get a chance.
 
Lets call this ETL Bob

STL: Bob come in
ETL: Go for Bob
STL: Can you meet me in my office
*30 minutes later*
TM: Team, does anyone know if Bob is here?
STL: Team, Bob has left for the day

o_O
 
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Cat said:
I personally love all the newbies when they call for the most random shit on the planet. Some of the stuff I can understand, but the "do we sell puppies here?" made me laugh to no end. Our AP guy also doesn't understand the concept of going to channel 4 and does not shut up. This is also the same man who got on the walkie as we were closing and proceeded to do one hell of a good impression of Bane from The Dark Knight Rises.
Click to expand...

A new guy, everytime someone told him to go to line 4 thought they said "lane 4" and would run up to the register 4. It was 3 or so times before we figured out why he was coming up there it was hilarious
 
I accidentally started a bizarre walkie exchange recently. I was closing BR and a SFTM needed a crib pulled for a guest. It was on the very top shelf and when I got up there with the Wave I realized there was no way I was going to be able to get it down- I couldn't even make it budge! The box was huge and had stuff on top of it...just wasn't gonna happen.

So I walkied out: "Can I have a super strong guy come help me get something down in the backroom?"

Yea...for the next 5 minutes all the guys in the store were posturing over the walkie and (jokingly) busting on our LOD who said he would respond.

The night had been terrible so I was too stressed to even really notice in the moment, but in hindsight it was pretty funny!
 
The other day the STL got a call from a neighboring store ( store is about 45 min from us )...they said the DTL was leaving there and headed our way. So, of course the STL panics which stresses everyone out. So, the STL goes over the walkie and and asks for the gsa...Then tells the gsa to let her ( the stl) know when the dtl arrives. About an hour later the gsa comes over the walkie and says The eagle is in the nest...I repeat the eagle is in the nest. I wasn't sure if I was at Spot or in the middle of a military operation :)
 
Backup calls are the funniest, heard this one earlier:
*Computer*: Additional cashiers are needed at the front lanes
GSTL: Cancel that team we don't need backup
LOD: Are you guys ok, up front?
*Computer*: Additional cashiers are needed at the front lanes
LOD: GSTL, are you guys ok?!
GSTL: Cancel that team, we're ok.
(Meanwhile there's about 4-5 people in line at all 26 registers, and LOD makes their way up front)
LOD: GSTL!!! What are you doing?! TEAM WE NEED BACKUP, BACKUP TO THE FRONT LANES!
GSTL: TEAM CAN WE GET BACKUP TO THE FRONT PLEASE, BACKUP!
LOD: SOFTLINES, HARDLINES, ELECTRONICS, WHO'S RESPONDING FOR BACKUP?
GSTL: BACKUP TO THE FRONT PLEASE BACKUP TO THE FRONT!
LOD: TEAM WE NEED A RESPONSE!
*not a second later* GSTL: I NEED BACKUP TO THE FRONT LANES NOW, MARKET, SOFTLINES, HAR-
LOD: GEEZ, GSTL, GIVE THEM A MOMENT TO ANSWER!

btw, no one could go up for backup because all the lights were on. :)
 
seewhatididthere said:
Backup calls are the funniest, heard this one earlier:
*Computer*: Additional cashiers are needed at the front lanes
GSTL: Cancel that team we don't need backup
LOD: Are you guys ok, up front?
*Computer*: Additional cashiers are needed at the front lanes
LOD: GSTL, are you guys ok?!
GSTL: Cancel that team, we're ok.
(Meanwhile there's about 4-5 people in line at all 26 registers, and LOD makes their way up front)
LOD: GSTL!!! What are you doing?! TEAM WE NEED BACKUP, BACKUP TO THE FRONT LANES!
GSTL: TEAM CAN WE GET BACKUP TO THE FRONT PLEASE, BACKUP!
LOD: SOFTLINES, HARDLINES, ELECTRONICS, WHO'S RESPONDING FOR BACKUP?
GSTL: BACKUP TO THE FRONT PLEASE BACKUP TO THE FRONT!
LOD: TEAM WE NEED A RESPONSE!
*not a second later* GSTL: I NEED BACKUP TO THE FRONT LANES NOW, MARKET, SOFTLINES, HAR-
LOD: GEEZ, GSTL, GIVE THEM A MOMENT TO ANSWER!

btw, no one could go up for backup because all the lights were on. :)
Click to expand...

All lanes being used was why the GSTL kept calling off the back up calls, no point to ask if there is nowhere to go.

I am at the point that I just start walking, cause they will keep screaming for back up until I have walked from the back of the store to the front lanes. They will have shut up just about the time I need to ask what lane would they like.

Happens almost daily.
 
I got the dreaded , Lisa, go to four. At he time i didnt know that meant i was in trouble. Be warned. Dont go to 4 . At least give them time to cool off

P s and take a deep breath.


Getting in trouble always makes me want to quit
 
This happened Friday sure it's happens in other stores. Will use mike for this team member.
Me: mike come in
Mike: go for mike you can hear an echo
Me: never mind mike
Mike: go for mike am in the bathroom thump thump

Please don't respond if your in the bath room specially if your taking a crap
 
Joejoe12 said:
This happened Friday sure it's happens in other stores. Will use mike for this team member.
Me: mike come in
Mike: go for mike you can hear an echo
Me: never mind mike
Mike: go for mike am in the bathroom thump thump

Please don't respond if your in the bath room specially if your taking a crap
Click to expand...
Or be like my store where if a GSA goes to the bathroom and the LOD can't find them, everyone flips the fuck out until they finally respond
 
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