Go Out With A BANG!

Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
217
#1
Well I am sure we have all thought about it once or twice, the day that we will leave Target by either just getting fed up and quitting or getting another job and being on the last day of your two weeks notice. So instead of just filling out some boring voluntary termination forms, in addition to that why not make your last day memorable. Now of course if by some chance you happen to wind up back at Target, you wouldn't want to do anything extremely dangerous or outrageous, but something that you would feel good about and a way to stick it to the man sort of speak lol. So I have mine pretty much planned out for when it happens, but tell me how you would go out on your last day, and after a few responses I will post mine.
 

pzychopopgroove

cyberpunk//my little pony
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
1,655
#4
Get drunk off your ass and post virulent and hate filled messages on target's facebook page, then get talked to by the ETL-HR, ETL-SL, and the STL about it a few days later, only to stop showing up two days later.
 

commiecorvus

Former Signing Ninja
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
15,825
#6
What I really wanted to do was make sure my last day was on a friday. That way a walkie could "mysteriously" disappear and I could loop andrew wk and rebecca black over and over again.
Evil, pure evil.

I actually wondered what it would be like to set all the signs wrong during BF adset and then quit that morning.
 
Joined
Jul 16, 2011
Messages
778
#7
wipes tears/

I am so proud of everybody who posted in this thread...and the walkie thing has been done at my store by some flowteam punks who stole some walkies. There are a couple businesses next to my target that are still in walkie range and it was a solid couple weeks of pranks lol.
 

talan123

Team Member/Troll
Joined
Jun 16, 2011
Messages
652
#9
I'm posting a sign in the high theft areas.

"They know who is stealing what and are counting how much till you hit a Felony so they can brag in the paper about locking you up."

Then use the USB ports on a TV to show something evil, like the anti-union video.
 
L

Ludwig3

Guest
#12
- LOCU every location (My personal favorite!)
- Drive the WAVE off the loading dock.
- Quarter every locker and throw away the keys.
- Print new locations and hide them (On top of selves, inside bailer, etc)

I could go on and on and on.
 
Joined
Nov 17, 2011
Messages
817
#13
I think I wouldn't LOCU all of them, only about half. If you did all of them, they'd soon realize that they were all done, but if only half were done, they'd have to take the time to check before fixing it all.

Print new barcodes for locations, and stick just the barcode onto random location labels, so that items get scanned into a completely different location and no one can ever find anything.

Set off the sprinkler system.

Untie as many POGs as possible. For added fun, retie them to aisles across the store.


Thinking of these is fun.
 

FiFoMaster

The "Go-To" Guy
Joined
Jun 27, 2011
Messages
44
#14
- Gorilla gluing all the Bluray cases in a stack together, or glue them shut with BD's still in them.
- LOCUing one location on the top steel, taking all the pillows i can find and making a fort up there to nap in until my shift is over.
- Steal all the power cords to the PDA/Walkie chargers and put them in a box for MIR
- Put Zorb "lines" on the boat and act like im doing coke off it
- Change the password for Store Applications on every capable computer to "HERP"
- Sit on the futon focal in D and direct guests where to go while playing on my phone
- Take all the packing tape, markers, pens, etc.. from receiving and put them into random wackos
- Massive ************ in the bathroom so the toilet clogs up (will be very hard to do but im determined)
- Attach little bells to random guests' carts
- Remove PS3 and Xbox 360 demo discs and put in Ferris Bueller's Day Off
- Take pictures of people walking by with the demo camera's and shout "Wow your body looks GREAT in this photo!
- Turn EVERY working stereo up as loud as possible and make the alarm function go off at 20 minute intervals

The list goes on. As you can tell, i think about this WAY too much... :dash1:
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
17,897
#16
Not that I'd ever DO this, but....

-Reprogram all the call buttons to include various depts we don't even have
-Do a "close registers" function early in the AM so they'll have to re-open all of them
-Hide the indyme restroom buttons
-Fill the mop bucket on the CA cart with a mix of Axe body wash & a fruit-scented soap so every mop-up reeks
-Fill the cart lanes inside so it blocks the exit (but not the entrance)
-Shoot the LARGEST EXF in corp history, resulting in a train of tubs along the front end
-Replace the restroom air fresheners with the most revolting, cheap cologne so it smells like a Turkish den of ill repute
-Take the overhead mike, lock it in the "on" position next to a jam box playing gangsta rap

...to name a few.
 
Joined
Oct 14, 2011
Messages
825
#20
In my time with Target I have seen the following happen:

*A TM walked in to food ave, took off his shirt (topless), threw it at a table of guests, screamed like a nut case at everyone, and ran out the door. We never saw him again.

*A TM got on the intercom using the red phone extension and cussed ETLs out over the intercom. This went on for a good 15 minutes because he was going around the store from red phone to red phone so no one could figure out where he was. Eventually we heard a fire alarm go off. He ditched out of the store through the backroom fire exit.

*A TM stole a walkie and hid outside the store. He cussed everyone out on the walkie. (this was a huge problem because guests heard all of this across the store) It totally disrupted the store because no one could use the walkies at all. The guy didn't give up after the first day though. He did this again for an entire week. AP could not find him in the parking lot. Eventually we figured he was hiding in the store next to ours. No one ever caught him, and eventually he stopped... probably once the battery died.

*An ETL that was scheduled to close walked out of the store and never told anyone. Eventually it came time to close and no one could find him. Someone eventually found a letter taped to the STLs office that said "I'm sorry, I just can't take this ************ job anymore. I didn't go to college for this" and his keys were on the ground in front of the door. We ended up having to get the DTL out to the store at close to midnight. (we were lucky as hell a TL happened to have our DTLs phone number.... because no one knew how to get in touch with any ETL)

Probably lots more than I am forgetting.
 
Joined
Nov 27, 2011
Messages
10
#22
A Team Member at our store ran as fast as he could with a cart and rammed it into One Spot then walked out.
Having to pick up a giant pile of cheap plastic items wasn't the highlight of my day.
 
Joined
Sep 22, 2011
Messages
18
#25
Mine would be cussing out the ETL during morning huddle and walking out the door. Doesn't really matter spot will not give you a reference. You can put it on your resume with the 800# and they will neither confirm or deny your employment with spot. So do what you want when you leave because it does not matter.
 

FrontEndKnowItAll

Former PFresh Assistant
Joined
Jun 15, 2011
Messages
336
#26
*An ETL that was scheduled to close walked out of the store and never told anyone. Eventually it came time to close and no one could find him. Someone eventually found a letter taped to the STLs office that said "I'm sorry, I just can't take this ************ job anymore. I didn't go to college for this" and his keys were on the ground in front of the door. We ended up having to get the DTL out to the store at close to midnight. (we were lucky as hell a TL happened to have our DTLs phone number.... because no one knew how to get in touch with any ETL)
Just wondering, if this was to happen would it still not be okay to use said exec's keys now laying on the floor to lock the doors yourself as a closing TL or other higher up/trust worthy person... I still understand there are other closing activities to be completed, but, as far as locking the doors?
 
OP
OP
F
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
217
#28
Wow, I am very impressed with your responses and as promised, here are a few things I would do. I would naturally want a closing shift as my last shift, and so here is a few options I have considered:

1. LOCU a few of my favorite aisles that were such a joy to backstock (Shoes, Women's, Men's, etc... basically all of softlines, and then a few locations in steel)
2. Not sure I would cuss out any of my ETL's or LOD's, cause I don't really have a beef with any of them (well except my ETL-LOG), but I would want to have an interaction with a unruly guest, so I could tell them off.
3. At about 15-20 minutes prior to closing, I would make my own little closing announcement on the overhead microphone, which would go something like " Dear Customers...oops I mean guests, it is about 15 minutes til' closing, which basically means you need to get your $h!t and get the hell out. Did you get your milk, eggs, bread, sugary sweets. Did you remember to get your condoms? I see you over there, you don't need Magnum, use the trusted brand. Well as this is my last day, I want to tell all the guests, that you can suck it, and for our listening pleasure, here is "Totally F***ked" by the cast of Spring Awkaening, there might be some words in their you might recognize. Oh and before I forget, we will be open from 8 am until 10 pm for your connivence , have a nice night", yea that sounds good to me lol
 
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
Messages
25,282
#29
Not I would do this.
Here goes:
1. Throw magnetic keys to the top of or in the baler.
2. Put super glue on the time clock buttons.
3. Throw ca remote & keys to the roof of the building(this really happened).
4. Disconnect all battery cables on waves or crowns in the backroom.
5. Hide the mice on the tsc computers.
Still thinking...
 
Joined
Jun 12, 2011
Messages
836
#31
Some of these are pretty funny. The problem is that most of them just leave your coworkers to clean up the mess. Who do you think is going to fix the backroom locations or clean up trash? I feel the same way when TMs just walk out. It doesn't hurt Target or the ETL you may have a beef with it just plops the burden on the people that have been in the trenches with you. However if you are working with some jerks......But the dude with the walkie, now that was classic.
 

pzychopopgroove

cyberpunk//my little pony
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
1,655
#32
Not that I'd ever DO this, but....

-Reprogram all the call buttons to include various depts we don't even have
-Do a "close registers" function early in the AM so they'll have to re-open all of them
-Hide the indyme restroom buttons
-Fill the mop bucket on the CA cart with a mix of Axe body wash & a fruit-scented soap so every mop-up reeks
-Fill the cart lanes inside so it blocks the exit (but not the entrance)
-Shoot the LARGEST EXF in corp history, resulting in a train of tubs along the front end
-Replace the restroom air fresheners with the most revolting, cheap cologne so it smells like a Turkish den of ill repute
-Take the overhead mike, lock it in the "on" position next to a jam box playing gangsta rap

...to name a few.
You sound like my future partner in crime!
 

pzychopopgroove

cyberpunk//my little pony
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
1,655
#33
A Team Member at our store ran as fast as he could with a cart and rammed it into One Spot then walked out.
Having to pick up a giant pile of cheap plastic items wasn't the highlight of my day.
Reminds me when i broke the door with the cart pusher back in march lol
 

pzychopopgroove

cyberpunk//my little pony
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
1,655
#34
In my time with Target I have seen the following happen:

*A TM walked in to food ave, took off his shirt (topless), threw it at a table of guests, screamed like a nut case at everyone, and ran out the door. We never saw him again.

*A TM got on the intercom using the red phone extension and cussed ETLs out over the intercom. This went on for a good 15 minutes because he was going around the store from red phone to red phone so no one could figure out where he was. Eventually we heard a fire alarm go off. He ditched out of the store through the backroom fire exit.

*A TM stole a walkie and hid outside the store. He cussed everyone out on the walkie. (this was a huge problem because guests heard all of this across the store) It totally disrupted the store because no one could use the walkies at all. The guy didn't give up after the first day though. He did this again for an entire week. AP could not find him in the parking lot. Eventually we figured he was hiding in the store next to ours. No one ever caught him, and eventually he stopped... probably once the battery died.

*An ETL that was scheduled to close walked out of the store and never told anyone. Eventually it came time to close and no one could find him. Someone eventually found a letter taped to the STLs office that said "I'm sorry, I just can't take this ************ job anymore. I didn't go to college for this" and his keys were on the ground in front of the door. We ended up having to get the DTL out to the store at close to midnight. (we were lucky as hell a TL happened to have our DTLs phone number.... because no one knew how to get in touch with any ETL)

Probably lots more than I am forgetting.
When you can remember, PLEASE TELL! I am DYING laughing here!
 
B

Barcode

Guest
#36
lol sometimes ill take the keys to the Quickart while the CA is on break (we're friends).

Then I'll get a call on the walkie in a little bit:

"GSTL??"
"Go ahead for GSA"
"4??"
"4"
"Dude, someone took the keys to the cart pusher!!"

proceed to mess with him a bit then give him the keys back :D lol
 

pzychopopgroove

cyberpunk//my little pony
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
1,655
#37
lol sometimes ill take the keys to the Quickart while the CA is on break (we're friends).

Then I'll get a call on the walkie in a little bit:

"GSTL??"
"Go ahead for GSA"
"4??"
"4"
"Dude, someone took the keys to the cart pusher!!"

proceed to mess with him a bit then give him the keys back :D lol
If the GSTL's weren't too busy helping guests they'd have done the EXACT same thing to me.
 
Joined
Sep 20, 2011
Messages
234
#38
I would organize a flash mob

Do the closing announcements early or how I didn't them the first time "than you for calling the super target this is my name here can I help you find something? ....hello?!"

I would unfold every towel
Break every tie in domestics and tie it into Locations that don't really exsist in our store (I have h30-60 availible for tables in rtw)
Go over to girls and infants tie everything into the same location
Change all the clearance signs to 70% off in domestics and infants (I dislike the team leads over there they have sucky attitudes and work ethics)
Wear someone else's name tag and ignore guests, yell at guests and occasionally burst out into tears asking them why Wont you people leave me alone?

Drop an exf for Mmb all for things that are filled
Tell the gstl that I forgot how to do her job so I can't cover her break and continue to insist I never have gotten training
Tell off the annoying GSA who wanted my job but instead got a possition with lots of responsibility no power and little pay...so almost just like my job but I get better hours
Pull a prank on he only boy on my team and have every girl hit on him
 
Joined
Sep 22, 2011
Messages
18
#41
This thread is so hilarious. I was going to start one on Friday very similar to this but then changed my mind and this one popped up. Sunday is actually my last day with spot. I have another job: better pay, better hours, less responsibility, no etl's, no fighting for hours, no business walks, no TL meetings getting nowhere, need I go on? Thanks for all the ideas but I probably won't do anything but walk out with my pride.
 
Joined
Jun 17, 2011
Messages
301
#47
I was an ETL-Hardlines and had many visions of ways to screw my STL and ETL-Merch when I left. In the end I did nothing except walk out the door with my pride intact. They were continually finding ways to screw me so I refused to drop to their level and left the better person.
 

mrknownothing

purveyor of things
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
10,151
#48
I probably won't do anything but walk out with my pride.
I was an ETL-Hardlines and had many visions of ways to screw my STL and ETL-Merch when I left. In the end I did nothing except walk out the door with my pride intact. They were continually finding ways to screw me so I refused to drop to their level and left the better person.
Good for you two!
 
Joined
Jun 7, 2011
Messages
129
#50
Well on my last night at target I left a nasty little note in the AP communication book to the ignorant b*tch ETL-AP and the stupid APS telling them both off. And in the pockets of the AP uniform I had to turn in I left little notes saying "Target sucks" and "ETL-AP is a b*tch" and so on.... yeah nothing that great but i got my dig in... haha oh well
 
Top