- Joined
- Oct 14, 2011
- Messages
- 825
I wanted to conduct a little experiment last week. Really out of morbid curiosity than anything else. It occurred to me.... where the hell does target find these ETLs that come in to our store, know not a damn thing about anything, treat people like they are god even though they have essentially done nothing in life, and have zero leadership skills to speak of?
So I went on the Target careers site and looked for info on how to apply to be an ETL. It was an interesting experience just at this point because the hiring site for ETLs is completely different than for TMs. Basically the TM hiring site is designed for idiots with page by page answers holding your hand like they assume you would be too stupid to fill out a long form or anything more complicated than "Yes or No" check boxes.
Anyway - I found my way on the ETL site. I had to create a resume and fill out various forms of information.
So I applied as a person with no work history other than being a cashier at McDonalds, and I put that I was terminated after 8 months. I also claimed to have a bachelors degree in criminal justice (basically a degree well known as being near worthless), and also graduated with a 2.1 GPA. (barely passing all the way through college basically) I also put that it was from University of Phoenix online. (basically a joke online degree)
I just wanted to see what happened. Would they be interested in someone who basically came across as a worthless, lazy slacker who had basically a diploma mill degree from an online school?
So this Wednesday all of a sudden I get an email from some kind of human resources executive (not an ETL-HR, but someone with a district HR title). The email was personally written to me telling me that she couldn't get in touch with me at my phone number after trying "multiple times", and that she was extremely interested in interviewing me ASAP. She even offered to rearrange her schedule and let me pick a day and time, and even offered to do the interview as late as 8PM and on a weekend if it was convenient for me.
So yesterday I emailed her back with some BS story telling her I already found a new job and wasn't interested anymore. She wrote back with some fake ass "that's great news good luck on your future" email and told me to apply back if I ever was interested.
It was pretty god damn incredible. Here I was with only one job ever - McDonalds and got fired from it and one of the lowest level degrees you could possibly get.... and they were fully on track to possibly hiring me less than a week after I applied! Not only that, she was willing to bend over backwards to interview me whenever the hell I wanted. Too bad I couldn't take it further.... it would have been fun to see how much further I could have taken it.
This just proved my worst fears about why ETLs seem to be completely inept and worthless these days. They will take anyone apparently as long as you have that piece of paper that says degree on it.
And before anyone tells me Target is going to track me down.... I didn't do anything bad. Just applied for a job and backed out. No harm done, and they suspect nothing unusual. Also I used my brothers computer at his apartment (he has zero to do with Target), and also gave them his phone number knowing that he never answers calls from anyone not on his contacts. I also used a bogus email address I made up. And yes, my application was completely fake - fake name, fake degree, fake work history, nothing that would lead back to me. I also applied at a store 300+ miles away.
It was damn interesting though. When TMs come in to get interviewed at my store they are called by our rude ass clerical TM, told when to be there, and once they get there they are made to wait until an ETL decides they feel like doing an interview. No one sends them personal emails full of feel good BS. I have seen people wait in clerical for over an hour past when they had their interview scheduled and get treated like crap the whole way through. Apparently if you apply for an ETL job you are treated like Jesus Christ himself.
So next time we get a new hire ETL who acts like a king and treats every TM like they are not worth even making eye contact with I will be wondering if he was hired after getting termed from burger king.
So I went on the Target careers site and looked for info on how to apply to be an ETL. It was an interesting experience just at this point because the hiring site for ETLs is completely different than for TMs. Basically the TM hiring site is designed for idiots with page by page answers holding your hand like they assume you would be too stupid to fill out a long form or anything more complicated than "Yes or No" check boxes.
Anyway - I found my way on the ETL site. I had to create a resume and fill out various forms of information.
So I applied as a person with no work history other than being a cashier at McDonalds, and I put that I was terminated after 8 months. I also claimed to have a bachelors degree in criminal justice (basically a degree well known as being near worthless), and also graduated with a 2.1 GPA. (barely passing all the way through college basically) I also put that it was from University of Phoenix online. (basically a joke online degree)
I just wanted to see what happened. Would they be interested in someone who basically came across as a worthless, lazy slacker who had basically a diploma mill degree from an online school?
So this Wednesday all of a sudden I get an email from some kind of human resources executive (not an ETL-HR, but someone with a district HR title). The email was personally written to me telling me that she couldn't get in touch with me at my phone number after trying "multiple times", and that she was extremely interested in interviewing me ASAP. She even offered to rearrange her schedule and let me pick a day and time, and even offered to do the interview as late as 8PM and on a weekend if it was convenient for me.
So yesterday I emailed her back with some BS story telling her I already found a new job and wasn't interested anymore. She wrote back with some fake ass "that's great news good luck on your future" email and told me to apply back if I ever was interested.
It was pretty god damn incredible. Here I was with only one job ever - McDonalds and got fired from it and one of the lowest level degrees you could possibly get.... and they were fully on track to possibly hiring me less than a week after I applied! Not only that, she was willing to bend over backwards to interview me whenever the hell I wanted. Too bad I couldn't take it further.... it would have been fun to see how much further I could have taken it.
This just proved my worst fears about why ETLs seem to be completely inept and worthless these days. They will take anyone apparently as long as you have that piece of paper that says degree on it.
And before anyone tells me Target is going to track me down.... I didn't do anything bad. Just applied for a job and backed out. No harm done, and they suspect nothing unusual. Also I used my brothers computer at his apartment (he has zero to do with Target), and also gave them his phone number knowing that he never answers calls from anyone not on his contacts. I also used a bogus email address I made up. And yes, my application was completely fake - fake name, fake degree, fake work history, nothing that would lead back to me. I also applied at a store 300+ miles away.
It was damn interesting though. When TMs come in to get interviewed at my store they are called by our rude ass clerical TM, told when to be there, and once they get there they are made to wait until an ETL decides they feel like doing an interview. No one sends them personal emails full of feel good BS. I have seen people wait in clerical for over an hour past when they had their interview scheduled and get treated like crap the whole way through. Apparently if you apply for an ETL job you are treated like Jesus Christ himself.
So next time we get a new hire ETL who acts like a king and treats every TM like they are not worth even making eye contact with I will be wondering if he was hired after getting termed from burger king.