can't touch this
PhD
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2017
- Messages
- 5,503
After the unexpected popularity of my STL types post in the other thread, I thought it would be fun to make a thread where we can describe all the typical types and traits of the STLs and ETLs that we've seen. I think Target actually goes out of its way to search for and hire these people on purpose lol.
to my original list I should add:
- the "globetrotter" STL is rarely in the store because he's always out of town on vacation, probably in the French Riviera. As many stickers on his suitcase as there are digits in his salary. Has been kicked out of several casinos in Monaco.
- the "Butt Pirate of Silicon Valley" wears a red turtleneck and always carries the latest model iPhone in homage to his idol Steve Jobs. Tries to be ~QUIRKY~ and ~UNCONVENTIONAL~ like same, or at least wishes he could get away with verbally abusing his people like Jobs did. This one is gunning for a high level job at the Cupertino campus so he can do exactly that. He feels stuck at Target Corp with its lack of innovation and embarrassingly small market cap.
- the "Baritone Butch" really puts the "scissor" in "scissor lift". She can switch between intimidating and cool on the fly as she feels is necessary. Considered a career in law enforcement but ultimately ended up at Target because being with a LEO would conflict with her wife's political views. She has definitely broken several of her knuckles on several jaws. Wears rings on her fingers because brass knuckles would raise some eyebrows. Chain smokes menthols.
- the "two-faced babyface" is usually a chick in her early 20s who interacts with the other leads like a normal person (telling stories, laughing, making random small talk) but acts cold and disinterested when talking to TMs. She isn't -exactly- what you would call a bitch, but it's like her sense of humor shuts off if a non-salaried person talks to her. It's like her own bizarre concept of professionalism, I guess?
Feel free to add your own!
to my original list I should add:
- the "globetrotter" STL is rarely in the store because he's always out of town on vacation, probably in the French Riviera. As many stickers on his suitcase as there are digits in his salary. Has been kicked out of several casinos in Monaco.
- the "Butt Pirate of Silicon Valley" wears a red turtleneck and always carries the latest model iPhone in homage to his idol Steve Jobs. Tries to be ~QUIRKY~ and ~UNCONVENTIONAL~ like same, or at least wishes he could get away with verbally abusing his people like Jobs did. This one is gunning for a high level job at the Cupertino campus so he can do exactly that. He feels stuck at Target Corp with its lack of innovation and embarrassingly small market cap.
- the "Baritone Butch" really puts the "scissor" in "scissor lift". She can switch between intimidating and cool on the fly as she feels is necessary. Considered a career in law enforcement but ultimately ended up at Target because being with a LEO would conflict with her wife's political views. She has definitely broken several of her knuckles on several jaws. Wears rings on her fingers because brass knuckles would raise some eyebrows. Chain smokes menthols.
- the "two-faced babyface" is usually a chick in her early 20s who interacts with the other leads like a normal person (telling stories, laughing, making random small talk) but acts cold and disinterested when talking to TMs. She isn't -exactly- what you would call a bitch, but it's like her sense of humor shuts off if a non-salaried person talks to her. It's like her own bizarre concept of professionalism, I guess?
Feel free to add your own!