Target's Night Before Christmas

Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
217
#1
Thought this might be fun, a little story to poke fun at Target with it being the Christmas season and all. So how about a story. Each person write a few sentences to a paragraph to add onto what the last person wrote in order to move the story along, so I will start off.

It was the day before Christmas at (insert your store number here) and guests were shopping in hopes to get deals. Children running a muck, team members unloading freight from the truck. Endcaps stocked by the sales floor team with care in Corporate's hopes that profits would soon be near.
 
Joined
Jul 16, 2011
Messages
778
#2
When all of a sudden, they heard such a clatter...Invictustaylor got verbally coached to keep 3 points of contact on the ladder...
 

Formina Sage💯

Probably still better than you at the stacker
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#3
Away to the backroom I flew like a flash,
With backstock all around, it really looks like "ash"
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
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Jun 9, 2011
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#4
By the light of the moon, the parking lot was clear until I 'spotted' eight tiny reindeer.
Eight flying reindeer pulling a giant red shopping cart, from up in the sky to the lot they did dart!
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
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Jun 9, 2011
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#6
...and all the tired TMs with weary, sore feet
tottered on home, their families to meet.
As they went out the door, the ETL did sing,
"See you all Monday morning, bright & early first thing!"
 
OP
OP
F
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
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#7
Well I am glad this was able to make a short thread, lol. And unlike the original night before Christmas this one had a sucky ending lol, no offense redeye (you told it like it was/is)
 
OP
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#9
your right pzychogroove! let's rewrite some other holiday classic's! how about Spot, the redeyed Christmas dog, take it away!
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
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#10
Spot, the red-eyed Christmas dog...
had a very bright, red eye.
And if you were in an airplane,
you could see it from the sky!
 
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Jun 8, 2011
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#11
News flash!
Spot, the red eye dog was seen leading Santa's sleigh, flying through the sky, with our favorite target lady(m banford) at santa's side.
 

commiecorvus

Former Signing Ninja
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15,888
#12
Three Kings came riding from far away,
Hardlinesmaster and redeye58 and Formina Sage;
Three Wise TM's out of Target were they,
And they worked hard on signing, front end and hardlines,
But they had a cross to bear,

For their ETL thought he was a beautiful, wonderful star.
The ETL was so beautiful, young and just out of college,
That all the other ETL's of the sky
Became a white mist in the atmosphere,
And by this they knew that the coming was near
Of the visit foretold from the high muckety mucks.

Their shirts were of crimson silk with rows
And Pants of khaki twee,
Their hair perfect blown dry with lots of product
And shiny, shiny shoes.

And so the visitor's walked through the store
making comments on all the 'opportunities' there,
And sometimes they nodded with beard on breast,
And sometimes talked down,
With the TM's that they met at some wayside.

"Of the work that's done," said the wise TM's
"And the little time we have had to do it;
The three wise TM's asked the ETL,
What good words have you for us,
For we have worked hard and worked fast,
To help and guide the guests to Leappads and Barbie jets.."

And the ETL answered, "You ask in vain;
I know of no King but Spot!"
He thought the Wise TM's were insane,

And when they came to the back room,
Piled high with product obscene,
The Stl and Etl sent for the Wise Men and questioned them;
And said, "Go down unto the steel, the electronics stockroom and freezer,
And bring us tidings of the pulls."

So they walked away; and the star stood still,
The only one in the grey of morn;
Yes, it stopped -- he stood still of his own free will,
Right there in his office pretty much doing nothing,

And the Three wise TM's went to their jobs,
Through the silent aisles, till their flats and pallets turned
And bowled out hundreds of boxes;
But the shelves were filled, and the guests were helped,
And the star still sat at his desk.

And cradled their heads in their arms on break,
In the air made sweet by the breath of kine,
Tired beyond compare,
They knew someone was going to hand them a GTC,
And it would all they could do not to throw it in the air.

(Sorry this is a bit somber and not funny like everyone else. I'd like to blame the poem I was working with but it was mostly me)
 
Last edited:

doxiemama

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#16
(Sung to Sleighbells Ring)

Guests complain
Do you hear it?

Who's to close?
I guess that we're it.

We're done with the zone,
we want to go home,
Waiting for the last of guests to leave.

Grab that cart,
get the reshop.

Endless pulls -
when will they stop?

We keep stocking shelves
Just like Santa's elves,
Praying for the last of guests to leave.

On the lanes we're pushing for more redcards,
Due to call-outs, lanes are not all manned.
Still, we keep on vibing with the diehards,
hoping we can get the store to brand.

Later on,
as we clock out,

Cursing 'bout
pushing stock out

So happy is Spot
With all that was bought
And finally, we got those guests to leave.
 

mrknownothing

purveyor of things
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
10,151
#18
(Sung to Sleighbells Ring)

Guests complain
Do you hear it?

Who's to close?
I guess that we're it.

We're done with the zone,
we want to go home,
Waiting for the last of guests to leave.

Grab that cart,
get the reshop.

Endless pulls -
when will they stop?

We keep stocking shelves
Just like Santa's elves,
Praying for the last of guests to leave.

On the lanes we're pushing for more redcards,
Due to call-outs, lanes are not all manned.
Still, we keep on vibing with the diehards,
hoping we can get the store to brand.

Later on,
as we clock out,

Cursing 'bout
pushing stock out

So happy is Spot
With all that was bought
And finally, we got those guests to leave.
This post wins the internet.
 

doxiemama

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Sep 6, 2015
Messages
123
#20
Thank you all <takes bow>. I shared it with my STL who apparently sang it to all of the ETLs on duty that evening. I told him he should have gotten on the walkie and serenaded the entire team. No such luck. If I don't have a future at Target, maybe somebody will hire me to write parodies.
 
Last edited:
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