Archived We just got the best ETL ever

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So I got to meet our new ETL-LOG at the huddle today. He was more than eager to tell us his whole life story. Here are some highlights:

1. He graduated from are a major state university magna cum laude (said that like 3 times) with a bachelors degree double major in Criminal Justice & Political Science with a double minor in Business and Sociology. Also has like 5 IT certifications.

2. Spent the last year working for the feds doing something with immigration.

3. Spent the year before that as an investigator for his states office of the inspector general

2. Spent the last two years before that as a probation officer.

3. Spent the last three years before that working for the state police.

4. Spent the year before that as an IT tech at Verizon.

5. Apparently his wife moved across the country for some big job she got, so he had to come here with no job connections.

I may have gotten the time he spent doing all that off a little, but that is basically it.

So all during his life story I kept internally shaking my head saying "Dude, WTF are you doing here?". The sad thing? He seems completely oblivious to what he is walking into.... I don't think he has any clue just how different working retail is compared to where he is coming from.

I give him a month at most. Not even being sarcastic. I think HR gave him the "you will be an EXECUTIVE" speech making him think he would be working in some corporate type position. And I don't give him a month at most because he won't be able to handle it.... absolutely the opposite. He comes across as the rare kind of guy who will absolutely own every other ETL in short order and dominate simply because he is that good.

It is super clear that this guy is the real deal and could probably land a job six times better than an ETL.... and probably will. His personality, manner of talking, hell even the way he dresses in red and khaki just "wows" you compared to our ETLs with zero real world experience. The way he talks to people isn't "I'm better than you" either. It is a really sincere "I am confident as hell, but I'm a professional, and as far as I am concerned so are you"... and he doesn't have to say it. You just know it. No way he is sticking around.

On the upside, he seems about 30 years old and I can already tell will definitely be running circles around every other ETL we have within a week even though he has never worked retail. He comes across that competent and legit, and pretty much every TM I talked to about it agrees with me on that.

Our electronics TL told me that on Friday our DTL was walking the store with our STL. This guy approached our DTL, after about 5 mins of talking our DTL completely blew off our STL, then this guy and our DTL left the store together and rumor is they went and had lunch at some restaurant, they both came back to the store, and they spent about an hour going all over the store. Apparently, this is the first time he had ever met our DTL. Talk about balls.... and our DTL must have been incredibly impressed with whatever it was he was saying to him because no one has *ever* seen our DTL hang out in our store with anyone for over 15 mins... not even our STL. Let alone leave with them for lunch.

I'm eagerly awaiting to see how our lazy and completely inept ETL staff handle someone like this showing them up.

Oh, and I also find it hilarious they didn't give him an ETL-AP or district AP job. Glad to see HR is on the ball....
 
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spotsbane

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Every one of those jobs produces nothing for anything.

Only thing that impresses me would be IT tech.

He worked for state police - some of the dumbest people on the planet work in the police force.

He was a probation officer - his "real world experience" is based on dealing with drug dealers, gun runners, prostitutes, and crack heads. Walk through my neighborhood and you'll achieve the same experience.

An investigator for police - once again he had to investigate who peed on someones fence through video feed. Not like he was a detective solving murder cases which many go unsolved.

He worked with feds in regards to immigration - this isn't anything impressive. maybe he helped track down jose and pedro because they jumped over the boarder fence to make a living since there wasn't any opportunity in their own country.

With his education that was probably spoon fed to him thanks to his wealthy parents; he'll probably land some corporate position making over 50K a year one day pushing papers that a high school graduate could do while the corporation continues to impoverish the rest of the world keeping the underprivileged and unfortunate hard working middle class from ever being worthy of simple financial stability in this country.

Assets protection is a joke as they claim the 'feds' learn and use experience from the corporations like target. Nothing could stop me shoplifting in the same exact store once a month. Too easy.

Continue to look up to and admire people like this though. I'm sure one day a useless district manager will notice your hard work and passion and promote you. Hah.

I've met general team members born into poverty trying to struggle through this society that would make better leaders and managers of the world. No privileged college kid will ever have the "real world experience" like the underprivileged that are born into broken familys will.

Your district leader likes him because he's just as spoiled and careless about the real problems in the world as he is. People put too much emphasis on what education mommies and daddies money bought and not enough on someones overall character. They'll all be just as apathetic, greedy, and self centered as the rest of them.

Bet you not your idolized new ETL nor the DTL would ever lift a finger for a team member unloading a truck or stocking shelves which will always be the true tasks that bring success to each store.

This guy would have been better off as a lawyer with his own firm.
 
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Every one of those jobs produces nothing for anything.

Only thing that impresses me would be IT tech.

He worked for state police - some of the dumbest people on the planet work in the police force.

He was a probation officer - his "real world experience" is based on dealing with drug dealers, gun runners, prostitutes, and crack heads. Walk through my neighborhood and you'll achieve the same experience.

An investigator for police - once again he had to investigate who peed on someones fence through video feed. Not like he was a detective solving murder cases which many go unsolved.

He worked with feds in regards to immigration - this isn't anything impressive. maybe he helped track down jose and pedro because they jumped over the boarder fence to make a living since there wasn't any opportunity in their own country.

With his education that was probably spoon fed to him thanks to his wealthy parents; he'll probably land some corporate position making over 50K a year one day pushing papers that a high school graduate could do while the corporation continues to impoverish the rest of the world keeping the underprivileged and unfortunate hard working middle class from ever being worthy of simple financial stability in this country.

Assets protection is a joke as they claim the 'feds' learn and use experience from the corporations like target. Nothing could stop me shoplifting in the same exact store once a month. Too easy.

Continue to look up to and admire people like this though. I'm sure one day a useless district manager will notice your hard work and passion and promote you. Hah.

I've met general team members born into poverty trying to struggle through this society that would make better leaders and managers of the world. No privileged college kid will ever have the "real world experience" like the underprivileged that are born into broken familys will.

Your district leader likes him because he's just as spoiled and careless about the real problems in the world as he is. People put too much emphasis on what education mommies and daddies money bought and not enough on someones overall character. They'll all be just as apathetic, greedy, and self centered as the rest of them.

Bet you not your idolized new ETL nor the DTL would ever lift a finger for a team member unloading a truck or stocking shelves which will always be the true tasks that bring success to each store.

This guy would have been better off as a lawyer with his own firm.

Actually I (and most other TMs) find him so impressive because he is the exact opposite of what you describe.... the exact opposite of damn near every other ETL I have ever met. Take everything you have just described, he is the exact opposite. This is not your typical brat ETL.
 
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spotsbane

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Fine.

Let us know when he promotes the hard working and deserving individuals to full time position status with benefits.

Let us know when he finds a way to sway the corporation from greed and corruption while bringing more payroll and higher wages to the hardest working part time team members who do all the required work that makes the store successful.

And finally, do not forget to let us know when he jumps ship, as you predict, while leaving the 'peons' to fend for themselves as sheep in the midst of wolves with no hope of a prospering society as ours is rapidly declining.

Occupy target.
 

commiecorvus

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I'm surprised he didn't go into AP.
Maybe he was trying for that and they shoved him into the LOG position.
I hope he does well, it's nice to have a good boss for a change.
 
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I am honestly suprised they hired him. Considering how often he changes jobs it is pretty clear he just took something while he looks for a job closer to his field. Not that I blame him but, Target should be smarter.
 
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it is pretty clear he just took something while he looks for a job closer to his field. Not that I blame him but, Target should be smarter.

That's no different than what most of the fresh-out-of-college ETLs do.
 
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it is pretty clear he just took something while he looks for a job closer to his field. Not that I blame him but, Target should be smarter.

That's no different than what most of the fresh-out-of-college ETLs do.

Yeah but, they do not have any experience in their field and may never find anything. This guy has lots experience and is far more likely to find a new job when he finds out how terrible his job is.
 
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Seems overqualified, not sure why they hired him if he's just going to leave in a few months...they will have spent a lot training him.

Also spotsbane can't be more wrong about pretty much everything he or she writes. Still don't know how they're still posting here after they had an entire post dedicated on how to game the unemployment system
 
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I fall somewhere in the middle of the first two posters. The first post did sound like sarcasm at first.
 
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I'm surprised he didn't go into AP.
Maybe he was trying for that and they shoved him into the LOG position.
I hope he does well, it's nice to have a good boss for a change.

AP is basically going bye bye. All of the realignments are being announced at the NSM tomorrow. AP and food are anticipated to take a beating.
 

Rock Lobster

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I'm surprised he didn't go into AP.
Maybe he was trying for that and they shoved him into the LOG position.
I hope he does well, it's nice to have a good boss for a change.

A common problem with AP leaders is they don't have store side background knowledge... If they were thinking APBP for this ETL as a succession plan, Logistics would make sense as a first position to get a strong understanding of store operations! Heck this ETL is probably considered HIPO and will be only spending a year in each position before going for BP or STL... I would guess LOG, then AP, the. APBP or something
 

HardlinesFour

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I'm surprised he didn't go into AP.
Maybe he was trying for that and they shoved him into the LOG position.
I hope he does well, it's nice to have a good boss for a change.
AP is basically going bye bye. All of the realignments are being announced at the NSM tomorrow. AP and food are anticipated to take a beating.

Oh please be rumors, please be rumors. I still have friends in AP :(
 
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I can see food positions getting cut (Pfresh, Super departments) because it is department that takes many people for a very low profit margin. That and Pfresh wasn't their cash cow they expected.
 
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Fine.

Let us know when he promotes the hard working and deserving individuals to full time position status with benefits.

Let us know when he finds a way to sway the corporation from greed and corruption while bringing more payroll and higher wages to the hardest working part time team members who do all the required work that makes the store successful.

And finally, do not forget to let us know when he jumps ship, as you predict, while leaving the 'peons' to fend for themselves as sheep in the midst of wolves with no hope of a prospering society as ours is rapidly declining.

Occupy target.

Ah spotsbane.... I was like you once.... always looking for the negative in everyone.

But you know what? A few weeks ago I made a vow to myself to stop being that way. I have totally changed my attitude/life, and already my life is 5 times better. I used to spend nights at bars and clubs drinking and getting into fights while I hanged out in the worst ghetto parts of town after listening to guys like you tell me how bad everything was. I still have scars from knife fights I was in over the past few years. I've already broken ties with most of my friends who I have now realized are losers. Some of them used to be in the gang I was in, and it wasn't easy. But I'm past that now. I'm totally changing my life, and I suggest you do the same. Instead of hanging out at clubs/bars/strangers homes and the streets at night, I now spend that time in the morning at church. It took me years to get to this point, but my life is already so much better.

Go ahead and trash someone who has done more in life than you have. Go ahead and blame him for not single-handidly changing the entire retail industry as you demand he does.

From this point on, I walk in the path of light not darkness. From this point on, I choose to respect people with degrees and good careers. Not people like you who choose to trash everyone for not promoting to CEO and changing the whole company, while you have never made it past a TM level job.
 
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