Welcome to the Modern Business 101, your introductory course on how to get as much money from a company as humanly possible all while destroying what the company originally stood for!
Learn how to kiss ass please the shareholders by blowing them delivering healthy returns on their investments. Read up on all current laws and their loopholes so you know exactly how to exploit them how to perform business in an ethical manner. Learn how to manage your employees by pushing them to the edge then Sparta-kicking them over by motivating them to achieve excellence!
Finally, the most important lesson this class can teach you is that you, most likely old white christian heterosexual cisgendered male CEO Mr. CEO, have achieved the American Dream, you are able to provide for your family, and you are quite well off. This is followed by lessons on how to COMPLETELY BURN THE FUCKING BRIDGES BEHIND YOU SO NOBODY ELSE CAN ASCEND TO ACHIEVING THE AMERICAN DREAM LIKE YOU. I MEAN NOT ONLY DO YOU BURN THE BRIDGES YOU BURN THE ENTIRE FOREST SO THAT A NEW BRIDGE CAN'T BE BUILT AND YOU SALT THE FUCKING EARTH SO THAT WE CAN'T REGROW THE TREES TO EVEN BEGIN TO REBUILD THE BRIDGES.
I would be an amazing college course description writer.