Archived Go Out With A BANG!

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Not so much a going out with a bang but an ongoing outgoing.
You will need:
1 walkie
1 voice recorder to duplicate Ms Spot.
A viscous but restrained imagination.

Record a series of messages that are weird or almost obscene.


"Anus inspection completed"
"Guest assistance needed in garble brible, who is responding?"
"Toilet paper jam in women's restroom stall 2, who is responding?"
"LOD Urgent No pants batch waiting"

Do them randomly, at different times of the day.
Keep them almost real enough that people won't be sure what they are hearing.
Enjoy the chaos.
 
ap215 said:
For the AP team this could really cause a lot of damage.

Grab a shopping cart and wheel it into the AP Office.
Now cut off every single cable connected to the loronix dvr boxs.
(This means spot will have to pay to rewire all those cams)
Once completed load as many of the dvr/computers into your shopping cart as possible.
Get them into the trash compactor and walk away.

Keep in mind with this plan, the video evidence of your doings will be destroyed. Just make sure to unplug the cat5 cables from the loronix computers before beginning, incase corporate is watching your store at the moment.

Those loronix computers will be very expensive to replace, and the store will go a little while without cctv. I would NEVER DO This, I like my job. But if spot did something to make me mad.....
Click to expand...

The only hard part about this plan that I see is wheeling it to the compactor without someone wondering WTF you are doing pushing a cart full of all that crap.
 
pzychopopgroove said:
The only hard part about this plan that I see is wheeling it to the compactor without someone wondering WTF you are doing pushing a cart full of all that crap.
Click to expand...

I could grab black trashbags to hide everything in. Then it will just look like I was just throwing out trash.... Or I could grab some moving boxes to hide the equipment in.
 
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I have given this a bit of thought. I would ONLY do any of this if there is no way I would want to work at Target again. Mostly I would love to tell guests what I really want to say to them. Especially the ones who tell you that the price of the thing you just wrung up is much less. My first response would be something akin to "yeah right in your dreams." followed by "That's too bad isn't because the computer is my god and I refuse to change the price for you. And no I don't care if you can prove it." Also if I am lucky enough to be at Guest Service that day I would love to tell the guest who gives me a hard time because they lost the receipt to get lost coz they ain't getting a refund. I would also like to tell the guest with the screaming baby that they are just ignoring to "shut the kid up!".
I love my job and only if I won millions would I leave, so this isn't likely to happen. Plus 90% of the guests I deal with are wonderful, but that other 10% can drive you batty. So, it's nice to say, what I would say if I could.
 
Fill the walkie cabinet with dead gerbils. No, wait. Half full of dead gerbils. The ones on the bottom are still alive.

Park a couple cars to block the parking lot at both entrances.

Go to the computer control room and pour milk into the computers.

Put up a sign at Starbucks that says "We are sorry, we can no longer serve coffee due to troglodyte soccer moms and filthy hipsters leaving their empty half-caf mocha cups all over the blasted store. Please die. Slowly.'

Then: When guests complain give them the "complaint hotline" - the DTL's cel phone number.
 
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chevalier said:
Park a couple cars to block the parking lot at both entrances.
Click to expand...

If your store is in a plaza like mine, you could park a bunch of cars at the entrances and shop in the other stores so that no one can find you. Or if you're a cart attendant, you could leave lines of carts in the way of every exit from the lot (as long as your car isn't trapped inside).

chevalier said:
Put up a sign at Starbucks that says "We are sorry, we can no longer serve coffee due to troglodyte soccer moms and filthy hipsters leaving their empty half-caf mocha cups all over the blasted store. Please die. Slowly.'
Click to expand...

THIS!
 
Screw around with the automatic front doors wiring so they stay open regularly and slam shut when guests are walking toward them.
Put all the vinegar cleaner where the vinegar goes.
Relabel all the chilli powder as cinnamon.
 
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daninnj said:
Screw around with the automatic front doors wiring so they stay open regularly and slam shut when guests are walking toward them.
Click to expand...
^This too. Short out the automatic door trigger box and it will open and close all the doors randomly.

Some more of my crazy ideas...

If a AP stole all the alpha keys, then everything alpha tagged would be unable to be sold. Imagine, a store without the capability to sell electronics and other expensive things.

The Checkpoint Security Door Alarms/Towers beep every time they power on. Grab a automatic timer, and plug the alarm power supplies into them. Set them at one minute intervals as much as possible. Guests will get all mad that the alarms are beeping at them.

If someone were to cut the wiring to a smoke detector, the fire alarm panel would activate. No matter how many times someone resets it, as long as that smoke detector wire is cut the system will go right back into alarm until its fixed or deprogrammed. Imagine a store with a constant fire alarm going off. Oh, and fire alarm cable can not be patched, it has to be rerun under UL Guidelines. That should be expensive....
 
Record the dead walkie alarm and play it over a walkie throughout the day.
Forget gerbils... Get an army of rats and let them free in the backroom, food ave, and market. Make sure you have both male and female.
 
If I ever decided to leave Target, i'd go into the control room and starting pulling wires! out of the mainframe and watch the store crumble...........
 
daninnj said:
Record the dead walkie alarm and play it over a walkie throughout the day.
Forget gerbils... Get an army of rats and let them free in the backroom, food ave, and market. Make sure you have both male and female.
Click to expand...

What about a endless loop of some teenager pop music like rebecca black, or some heavy metal music..... That could get annoying hearing it all day on those walkies.
Also record a bunch of call button requests to play in between music... Final Request in the Garden Center, Who is responding?
 
I'd go with a simple idea. Show up, do my job at a lazy pace. Not like I have to impress anyone. Any angry guests get "It's my last day, I really don't care." Maybe do some random discounts ($3 apology coupons) for regular guests that have always been good people. Order in pizza for the crew maybe. As much as I hate Spot, it would be nice to have it as a back up plan if anything went south later on in life.
 
On my last day (day that I quit for a much better career) I took longer breaks, stopped upselling, told guests not to waste money on service plans or attachments that they didn't need, didn't ask CIHYFS, didn't work any reshop or backstock, didn't do the job of instocks or plano, did a ****ty job zoning while talking to friends, and played angry birds on my phone at the boat.

Basically for one day I did my job just as ****ty as most of the people at my store do everyday.... and you know what?

The store didn't burn down. I should've been like that from the start.... my last day was fun.
 
Well I know one thing I will be doing. I work with three other awesome TM's in the backroom. So to kind celebrate me leaving, on my last day (which is coming pretty soon), I will be having pizza for the 4 of us delivered and reserving the training room for us to dine in, kind of like an exclusive party lol. Some pulls may or may not roll over, just saying lol.
 
My last day was yesterday. Thank God!!! Quit for a much better paying job ($10 an hr part-time). Didn't do anything drastic. Just went on my break and decided not to come back. Since one of the TLs wanted to tell me that I wouldn't be eligible to come back (not that I would) if I didn't work out two weeks I figured why bother finishing the shift.
 
filmer88 said:
Well I know one thing I will be doing. I work with three other awesome TM's in the backroom. So to kind celebrate me leaving, on my last day (which is coming pretty soon), I will be having pizza for the 4 of us delivered and reserving the training room for us to dine in...
Click to expand...

Now, THAT'S a class act!
 
On my last day I did my work, made sure everyone on the electronics team (I was the electronics team member) knew what they had to accomplish after I left and set them up for success. I didn't hate Target I just couldn't sustain working there with my hours being cut. I also received my last GTH plaque that day.
 
itsamutiny said:
I think I wouldn't LOCU all of them, only about half. If you did all of them, they'd soon realize that they were all done, but if only half were done, they'd have to take the time to check before fixing it all.

Print new barcodes for locations, and stick just the barcode onto random location labels, so that items get scanned into a completely different location and no one can ever find anything.

Set off the sprinkler system.

Untie as many POGs as possible. For added fun, retie them to aisles across the store.


Thinking of these is fun.
Click to expand...

haha I love the idea of LOCUing half the locations and putting wrong locations labels everywhere. Pure evil!
 
I haven't read this entire thread but do have a comment about one BR TM we had several years ago. He knew he was going to be fired soon, just didn't know when. As suggested by someone else he LOCUed several wacos in different aisles. He probably would have done more damage by printing wrong barcodes, but he didn't think of that.
 
I know that after I eventually get fired from spot, I will still occasionally dress up in red and khakis and put a nametag on that I have stashed away.

Perhaps grab the walkie off the team member entrance before the store opens at 8 o'clock. And then just go around to different targets at different times of the day and either play mild pranks on guests or just jump in with the teams like i've been doin it everyday with those guys.

If I found out that a store I was auditing was on an awesome safety/no incidence run, I'd probably wait for a mile marker like 1000 days accident free, and then on day 999 I'd jump in the box bailer and turn it on!!!

I've got it all figured out, it would be like the last scene in Terminator II: Judgement Day where Arnold Schwartznegger has to lower himself into the pit of molten lava to destroy the chip in his brain and he's tear jerkin' John Conner while he holds the thumbs up to the very end.

But at the last second, I would summon chi from every piece of recognition I had ever recieved and I would use it to defeat the hydralic compressor. And I would turn the situation into an opportunity for safety training. I'd emphasize that you really need to be certified to operate equipment! Because people are replaceable, but equipment repairs cost money, and when numbers and metrics go down, they are lost forever and you can never get those scores back!!! :spiteful:
 
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