Archived I called out from work because... (A game)

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My yacht broke down and my dog is sleeping in the mercedes whil my favorite pet leopard is snuggled up to my never released to the public nikes. Sorry but I am out of transportstion options but I will send you a post card from the carribean when my private jets lands on my wednesday getaway roof. Ktnxbye
 
I'm gonna be late because the softlines girl I've been flirting with stayed at my apartment last night. I'll be in as soon as we finish, shower, and I take her home.

That was a real one back when I was 20. That was the only time I've ever called in for an irresponsible reason and my TL covered for me.
 
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We should have another thread titled "I showed up, even though........."

Mine would be not sleeping a wink, after taking a couple doses of LSD at the Phish Concert the night before.... I had bluish/orange contrails that followed any movement first 1 hour of my shift..... "Huddle was a Struggle, to put it lightly".
 
One of our GSAs called out today because he forgot he had to take camera equipment back to Memphis (a 9 hour drive)...
 
So...I live in a realllly bad neighborhood...so I HAVE to stay home and look out for my AMAZON packages....otherwise they will get stolen from the front porch!
I had a few of my packages stolen too and I wish I could use my Target's shipping address. But then the ship from store crew might mistake it a return and end up reselling it as As Is or Online Item. Haha
 
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Man I wish I was that close to a moose. Now I need some ice cream called Moose Tracks. It's hot as hell here!
 
I just got my delivery from Amazon and need to backstock the shoes.
 
My car got hangry on the way to work so I guess we're not going there.
 
My toilet doesn't have casters and I can't get off it since I'm just cleaning out my intestines when the clock says time to go out the door to work but I just started on the toilet.
 
I have to FIFO my fridge since there is no one else at home and Uncle John is visiting tonight so I don't want him to grab something a week old.
 
I had a few of my packages stolen too and I wish I could use my Target's shipping address. But then the ship from store crew might mistake it a return and end up reselling it as As Is or Online Item. Haha

I spend a $100 a year to have a mail box at a UPS store.. Good money spent.. No worries about them being stolen off my porch.
 
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