Archived Overheard at Target

[ChecklaneChica]

Not sure if a thread like this exists already, but I wanted to share...

Little boy, upon tasting his cinnamon pretzel from Food Ave:
"This looks like heaven.... smells like heaven.... but it doesn't taste like heaven"

I just wanted to pat him on the back and tell him I understood. What funny/ crazy things have you guys heard while working?

 

[BullseyeBlues]

The first Wednesday before Thanksgiving/Black Friday I worked at Target, a three year old boy told me (as his dad was pushing the cart away) "Happy Thanksgiving, and have a big poo-poo!" Dad was mortified, while I was doubled over laughing.

 

[GlitterBerries]

"Gerry you know your big ass isn't going to fit in these small depends.. Don't give me that look everyone here knows your lying if you think you can squeeze into those"

 

[redeye58]

Heard from two little girls in the ladies' restroom as they're examining the feminine products machine:
"You put your money in the slot here & you get a cigarette or a kleenex!"

 

[Rarejem]

After the third time helping the same guest with her young son: "Mom! I think that lady knows everything!"

 

[Produce Queen]

A kid about 3 walks up to the women's bathing suits and says, "look at all the boobie holders." I nearly fell over laughing.

 

[TallAPGuy]

On Saturday while near Electronics, I saw this group of people, 4 or 5 adults and two kids, a 9 year old girl and a boy probably 4, maybe 5 at most.
Apparently some of the adults hadn't seen the others in quite some time and they were reminiscing, when one of the older guys asked the little boy what he wanted. I couldn't hear the reply, but then I here in a nasally, loud, little kid voice: "HEEEYYY! HE'S PUTTING GIRLS THINGS IN MY CART!"
The group, and pretty much everyone in earshot, laughed, another guy asked the kid what he said and the 4 year old pointed at the 50-60 year old perpetrator and said "THAT BOY KEEPS PUTTING GIRL THINGS IN THE CART!"
I couldn't help laughing.

 

[BullseyeBlues]

A four year old saw the "Yes to Tomatoes" stuff in cosmetics, picked up a tube of it, and crowed "TOMATO SAUCE!!"

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Heard from a two year old just beyond the entrance doors: "The bad guys are blocking the doorway! How are we supposed to get in?" (referring to the life size storm trooper decals)

 

[CeeCee]

I week or so ago I had a female guest tell me there was a man outside the door when she came in making inappropriate comments. I was covering GSA so agreed to walk her out to see if he was still there. As we walked to the door and continued talking she said that what he had actually said was "I like those heels on you - they make your ass look good." Kind of creepy but maybe he thought it was a compliment? Luckily he had left so I didn't have to figure out a way to deal with it.

 

[Kartman]

maybe he thought it was a compliment?

Only if he is a complete maroon.

 

[CeeCee]

Only if he is a complete maroon.

Well - we do get a few of those in the store.

 

[Kartman]

That's one reason I love working there... the crazy ass people. They amuse me.

 

[TallAPGuy]

That's one reason I love working there... the crazy ass people. They amuse me.

I see what you did there.

 

[Kartman]

 

[Bullseyerc]

Guest asked their mom about me..: "mommy is that a boy or a girl?" Mom says "SHUT UP"

 

[recentlyretail]

Toddler child asks pregnant mom trying on maternity clothes in fitting room ( who is making discomforted noises) " hey, you pooping in there?" ..... Dad and I almost died. Mom did not see any humor in his question.

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Toddler, addressing Mom: "No touchy, no touchy!" (She was trying to find her size in RTW, and the toddler was saying this every time she touched the clothes.)

 

[soyaxo]

There was an infant in Infants Clothing crying and a toddler in RTW shopping with their mum. I was putting away go-backs and another SLTM was zoning shoes. The toddler starts yelling "CALLATE!" every time the infant cries loudly. The mum was trying to quiet the toddler in RTW down at this time, but it was entertaining. I jokingly said, "This kid is only a few years old and he's already tired of babies." The mum laughed and told us, "He's not even in real school yet, so the most stressful thing he deals with right now is not wanting to eat his vegetables." The kid responds defensively with, "No mama but I start school in AUGUST! A real school at *Name of preschool daycare that's locally owned*!" He was really excited, so we let him have his moment.

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Heard from toys, as a elementary school aged boy's younger sister triggered the Frozen sing along microphone for the umpteenth time: "Oh, God, make it stop!"

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Me: (to parent with baby and toddler) Looks like the tiny little guy thinks the sunshade on his seat is a parachute!
Toddler: *offended* My name's not Parachute, it's Jonathan!

 

[HardlinesGuy]

I was applying merchandise protection in Electronics when a little boy, probably about 5 or so years old came up to me and said he couldn't find his mom. So, to try and keep the kid calm I gave him some stickers and I try and have a friendly conversation with him on the way to the service desk. At one point I asked him what his name was, and he replied with his name (we'll just use John for the sake of the story), followed by some extremely hilarious political commentary.

Kid- "My name is John, do you know why that's my name? It's because I'm a Muslim."
HLG- "That's pretty cool! It's really awesome that you're proud of that!"
Kid- "Yeah but do you know what? I don't like Donald Trump I think he's a big dummy. He doesn't want to let people like me live here and I think he's stupid and I wanna snack him in the face becauses he's so mean."
HLG- ".....uhh.. Well-"
Kid- "Yeah I don't like him if he becomes the president I'm going to run away because I hate him. He's a dumb person and he hates me."

Mind you, this is the same kid I just went from giving stickers to, to listening to political opinions. I had absolutely ZERO preparation for this. Five years old. Five. I have never had such a difficult time trying to maintain composure at work. Having to explain to the LOD why his TPS was having a laugh attack behind the service desk was one of the highlights of my Target career so far.

 

[TallAPGuy]

Tonight there was this 25 or 26 y/o woman walking through little boyslh clothing talking on her cell phone:
"I am so done. Just fucking done. Both my baby daddies are complete pieces of shit and I am just fucking done-ooh, this is cute,"

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Wife, to husband: "You can't just push a punching bag aside, 'cause it will swing right back and hit ya!"

 

[qmosqueen]

Tonight there was this 25 or 26 y/o woman walking through little boyslh clothing talking on her cell phone:
"I am so done. Just fucking done. Both my baby daddies are complete pieces of shit and I am just fucking done-ooh, this is cute,"

Oh piece of trash. Ooh your cute slut.