Stupid things Target could do in 2015

[Amaazingdude]

Its almost that time of the year again! What rumors have you heard? What departments are getting cut or changed?

 

[Longshanks]

The new policies and cuts looks pretty bad this year:
-All registers will now be self-checkout.
-Target Cafe and Starbucks will be replaced with instant coffee and vending machines.
-ETLs/TLs are being cut. Instead a Roomba with a monitor will teleconference with Team Members to give orders from "Overseers" from Target India.
- All stores will switch to a 12 PM flow process
-Flats and tubes are to be replaced with various pack animals
-TSC, offices, and breakrooms are eliminated and replaced with more merchandise space
-Walkies replaced with cans on string
-PDAs, LPDAs, and myDevices are to be replaced with a $19 mandatory smartphone app
-Safety blades replaced with plastic cutlery
-Gondolas will increase in height to reach to the ceiling and library ladders will be installed
-Aisle valleys shrunk down to 1.5 ft.
-Carts and baskets eliminated
-All team members will wear tracking device on ankle while in on the clock
-Pharmacy replaced with Pre-Med student in a booth with Pharmacy textbook

 

[Bullselle]

I heard Target is supposed to extend its aisles to the parking lot by 2015. Team members can park in the new company driveway on a first come, first serve basis. The outdoor section will be open 24 hours and called "Target after dark".

 

[thatcashierdude]

The new policies and cuts looks pretty bad this year:
-All registers will now be self-checkout.
-Target Cafe and Starbucks will be replaced with instant coffee and vending machines.
-ETLs/TLs are being cut. Instead a Roomba with a monitor will teleconference with Team Members to give orders from "Overseers" from Target India.
- All stores will switch to a 12 PM flow process
-Flats and tubes are to be replaced with various pack animals
-TSC, offices, and breakrooms are eliminated and replaced with more merchandise space
-Walkies replaced with cans on string
-PDAs, LPDAs, and myDevices are to be replaced with a $19 mandatory smartphone app
-Safety blades replaced with plastic cutlery
-Gondolas will increase in height to reach to the ceiling and library ladders will be installed
-Aisle valleys shrunk down to 1.5 ft.
-Carts and baskets eliminated
-All team members will wear tracking device on ankle while in on the clock
-Pharmacy replaced with Pre-Med student in a booth with Pharmacy textbook

You forget: the bathrooms will now have a mop in each stall for guests to use to clean up their own messes. If they don't, well then the bathroom is going to get stinky until someone decides to clean it up. If there are no carts then there won't be a cart attendant - no more cleaning bathrooms.

 

[see spot save]

If there are no carts then there won't be a cart attendant - no more cleaning bathrooms.

No, you've got it all wrong. Restroom Brand Specialists (formerly cart attendants) will continue to be responsible for keeping the restrooms brand. They help drive sales by giving our guests the cleanest restrooms possible while maintaining a fast, fun, friendly attitude with each guest that enters or leaves the restroom. This is also a great opportunity to vibe with guests about the benefits of the REDcard, cartwheel and the Target app as well as the great deals from this weeks ad.

 

[thatcashierdude]

If there are no carts then there won't be a cart attendant - no more cleaning bathrooms.

No, you've got it all wrong. Restroom Brand Specialists (formerly cart attendants) will continue to be responsible for keeping the restrooms brand. They help drive sales by giving our guests the cleanest restrooms possible while maintaining a fast, fun, friendly attitude with each guest that enters or leaves the restroom. This is also a great opportunity to vibe with guests about the benefits of the REDcard, cartwheel and the Target app as well as the great deals from this weeks ad.

Add a mobile register and a ethernet port to the restroom and start signing up guests for the redcard! I see the corporate vision now!

10% conversion goal for the brand attendant: the formula is (number of signups / number of guests to use the restroom) * 0.005

Gotta keep those team members motivated with new exciting goals! Who doesn't like signing up for a credit card after taking a dump?

 

[StaticSun]

Can we keep this semi-serious? AE typically brings some big changes.

 

[redeye58]

It'll get serious soon enough. Doesn't hurt to have a little fun first.
Besides, you never know how many of those crazy ideas may actually be implemented.

 

[thatcashierdude]

Can we keep this semi-serious? AE typically brings some big changes.

No. We will continue to be cynical sarcastic children until the actual changes are implemented, then everyone will bitch, bitch, bitch...

 

[PlanoDude]

On a more serious note, I may or may not have overheard my STL and DTL speaking in the STL office while I sat on break in the team lead office about paygrade structure changes and something happening with EHR in the next two weeks.

 

[Jack of all Workcenters]

On a more serious note, I may or may not have overheard my STL and DTL speaking in the STL office while I sat on break in the team lead office about paygrade structure changes and something happening with EHR in the next two weeks.

EHr is supposed to go back online for out of store access. Paygrade restructuring is probably related to the increase in minimum wage in some areas.

 

[RCKing]

if anyone has anything good i would love to hear.... i havent heard anything and doubt my stl would share anything with me this early.

things rolled out pretty fast and furious this year... are we anticipating anything like that next year?

would love to see starbucks/cafe/steritech eliminated!

 

[PlanoDude]

We are a test market for shipping items from store to home, and the initial results and guest feedback are positive. My STL has been on the phone with someone at corporate regarding training other stores' fulfillment teams. I'm sure this will be discussed

 

[RCKing]

i mean, i guess i get store to home... buy online or do subscriptions i would think... i just think that it would be a hassle... brb let me call a store in arizona and get it shipped to new york.

 

[PlanoDude]

i mean, i guess i get store to home... buy online or do subscriptions i would think... i just think that it would be a hassle... brb let me call a store in arizona and get it shipped to new york.

I'm not a member of the fullfillment team so i may be off, but we only ship within a certain area. Basically, if its cheaper to ship from the DC, we ship it from there, but if its cheaper for Target to ship from a store, we ship it from there. Im sure there is more to it, but thats how I understand it

 

[RCKing]

i mean, i guess i get store to home... buy online or do subscriptions i would think... i just think that it would be a hassle... brb let me call a store in arizona and get it shipped to new york.

I'm not a member of the fullfillment team so i may be off, but we only ship within a certain area. Basically, if its cheaper to ship from the DC, we ship it from there, but if its cheaper for Target to ship from a store, we ship it from there. Im sure there is more to it, but thats how I understand it

gotchya, that makes sense

 

[Jeremy]

Ive heard of equipment changes, the backroom equipment getting a huge change. Something regarding waving a wand down a aisle

 

[mrknownothing]

Ive heard of equipment changes, the backroom equipment getting a huge change. Something regarding waving a wand down a aisle

Does this involve preceding the DPCI with "accio!"?

But seriously, the logistics apps are likely to be overhauled (bye-bye, RF Apps) and migrated to the MyDevices so the PDAs can be phased out.

 

[Jeremy]

Ive heard of equipment changes, the backroom equipment getting a huge change. Something regarding waving a wand down a aisle

Does this involve preceding the DPCI with "accio!"?

But seriously, the logistics apps are likely to be overhauled (bye-bye, RF Apps) and migrated to the MyDevices so the PDAs can be phased out.

I wasnt understanding it all, but tgey would use seperate devices yhan mydevices

 

[Producer]

-Gondolas will increase in height to reach to the ceiling and library ladders will be installed

I just lost it

 

[Producer]

I've heard the ETL-HR's will now be responsible for covering two stores and will have minimal LOD duties. Not sure if that's already being implemented though.

 

[mrknownothing]

Ive heard of equipment changes, the backroom equipment getting a huge change. Something regarding waving a wand down a aisle

Does this involve preceding the DPCI with "accio!"?

But seriously, the logistics apps are likely to be overhauled (bye-bye, RF Apps) and migrated to the MyDevices so the PDAs can be phased out.

I wasnt understanding it all, but they would use seperate devices than mydevices

I would hope so, maybe something more rugged. The last thing we need is for the MyDevices to fall 20 feet and shatter on the cement floor of the backroom.

 

[Jeremy]

Ive heard of equipment changes, the backroom equipment getting a huge change. Something regarding waving a wand down a aisle

Does this involve preceding the DPCI with "accio!"?

But seriously, the logistics apps are likely to be overhauled (bye-bye, RF Apps) and migrated to the MyDevices so the PDAs can be phased out.

I wasnt understanding it all, but they would use seperate devices than mydevices

I would hope so, maybe something more rugged. The last thing we need is for the MyDevices to fall 20 feet and shatter on the cement floor of the backroom.

Yeah. (Excuse the misinterpretation ) but understood it as a wand you wave at each aisle, it tells you what to pull, and such. It seemed confusing as a concept

 

[Jack of all Workcenters]

Does this involve preceding the DPCI with "accio!"?

But seriously, the logistics apps are likely to be overhauled (bye-bye, RF Apps) and migrated to the MyDevices so the PDAs can be phased out.

I wasnt understanding it all, but they would use seperate devices than mydevices

I would hope so, maybe something more rugged. The last thing we need is for the MyDevices to fall 20 feet and shatter on the cement floor of the backroom.

Yeah. (Excuse the misinterpretation ) but understood it as a wand you wave at each aisle, it tells you what to pull, and such. It seemed confusing as a concept

Some of the STLs I've talked to after there yearly concert said there was basically a scanner you wore on your finger and you could go to an aisle and when you pulled you could tell it the amount.

 

[Dying Sun]

The new policies and cuts looks pretty bad this year:
-All registers will now be self-checkout.
-Target Cafe and Starbucks will be replaced with instant coffee and vending machines.
-ETLs/TLs are being cut. Instead a Roomba with a monitor will teleconference with Team Members to give orders from "Overseers" from Target India.
- All stores will switch to a 12 PM flow process
-Flats and tubes are to be replaced with various pack animals
-TSC, offices, and breakrooms are eliminated and replaced with more merchandise space
-Walkies replaced with cans on string
-PDAs, LPDAs, and myDevices are to be replaced with a $19 mandatory smartphone app
-Safety blades replaced with plastic cutlery
-Gondolas will increase in height to reach to the ceiling and library ladders will be installed
-Aisle valleys shrunk down to 1.5 ft.
-Carts and baskets eliminated
-All team members will wear tracking device on ankle while in on the clock
-Pharmacy replaced with Pre-Med student in a booth with Pharmacy textbook

is it sad that up till the fifth one I actually believed this was somewhat legit?