Using Female Restroom

[Amaazingdude]

We have a male team member at our store that uses the female restroom, and he is clearly a guy. Apparently Target can't do anything about it because my state doesn't have laws agasint it. The police have showed up many times because guests called. The police don't do anything

 

[Rarejem]

I may be off base here, but Target is all about diversity. "Clearly" a guy? Whatever that means..... I say Not Your Business unless this violates you in some way. You most likely don't have all of the information.

 

[Amaazingdude]

I may be off base here, but Target is all about diversity. "Clearly" a guy? Whatever that means..... I say Not Your Business unless this violates you in some way. You most likely don't have all of the information.

It doesn't violate me, but I know some of my coworkers use the Woman's RestRoom to get dressed for work, and he stares them down.

 

[bullseyekindaguy]

If he or she is a transgender individual, they should be use the restroom that is inline with the gender they present them-self at work.

Basically, we had a TM who was originally a 'man' and was in the 'process' of becoming a woman. Yes, we know that she was originally a guy (because she was openly transgender, but had obvious male features), but we knew her as a woman, she dressed as a woman, conducted herself as a woman.

She would use the lady's restroom, because we knew as a woman. Now, there were a couple times when she would come in as her male counterpart... When she did, she would use the male restroom.

Now, I will say, that some female TM's didn't like the fact that she would use the restroom as a "male." As such, she was asked to sit down to use the facilities.

Leave it alone. If it doesn't bother you, don't mess with it.

 

[commiecorvus]

I don't want to be another person jumping on you but you certainly don't know the person's story and making a long distance judgment call doesn't serve you.
The whole 'they're staring at me' is probably more psychological than real.
Unless the stare down is because they are being hostile, then I can totally understand.

I have a friend who is trans and you have no idea the amount of crap she has had to deal with.
An open mind goes a long way.

 

[Hauteclaire]

Yeah, just leave them be. They could be trans, intersex, genderqueer, etc. And that's between them, and HR. As said above, Target is all about diversity, the handbook even states protections not only for gender identity, but also gender expression.

And speaking as someone who has transitioned from male to female, herself, having people question your gender for any reason, even just for using the restroom, really sucks.

 

[Amaazingdude]

This person isnt a transgender. He is just doing it because he thinks it's funny. That's why I brought it up.

 

[bullseyekindaguy]

If he's doing it be funny, then that's just stupid.

Target actually does have a "fitting room" policy (workbench>sales floor>fitting room>corporate fitting room policy) that states guests be directed (and use) to the correct "gender" fitting room, not sure if applies to the restroom.

If it is truly bothering someone, then they should contact HR or the ethics hotline. It could be considered sexual harassment for making others uncomfortable and could also fall under other policies (FFF, disrespect, etc).

Doesn't matter if the state doesn't have a law for it... The state doesn't have laws about TM's loafing, but Target can still issue corrective action for someone who does. As long as Target has a policy prohibiting it and that policy isn't in conflict with a law, the TM can still be held accountable.

 

[ETHICS DEMANDER]

Psstt .. you don't know anything.. your guessing... if cops have been involved then there's a reason they don't do anything. Trust me if there was something wrong they would get him on disturbing the peace or some other crime.. heck gives cops cause to search his phone for pictures and other crap... it wouldnt be a thing you do for fun because it be more of a hassel to him then it would be fun

 

[Dr Laytex]

 

[Hauteclaire]

This person isnt a transgender. He is just doing it because he thinks it's funny. That's why I brought it up.

If the police were involved, and they are still allowed to use the women's restroom, then there is definitely something more to the situation than just doing it to be "funny". This could have easily fallen under public nuisance ordinances or disturbing the peace if it was a simple case of a male in the female restrooms.

You don't need to be the self-appointed restroom police, either take your concerns to your superiors if it actually bothers you that much, or let it go.

 

[oath2order]

I'm not gender-transitioning or anything. I'm male and identify as male. I use the womens' bathroom in the backroom when someone is using the mens'.

Honestly, if he's doing it "for the lols" then people need to ignore him. He obviously wants attention.

 

[Amaazingdude]

This person isnt a transgender. He is just doing it because he thinks it's funny. That's why I brought it up.

If the police were involved, and they are still allowed to use the women's restroom, then there is definitely something more to the situation than just doing it to be "funny". This could have easily fallen under public nuisance ordinances or disturbing the peace if it was a simple case of a male in the female restrooms.

You don't need to be the self-appointed restroom police, either take your concerns to your superiors if it actually bothers you that much, or let it go.

It only bothers me because my female coworkers complain. And yes he thinks it's funny because he laughs about it.

 

[commiecorvus]

Like I said you must not know the whole story because if the police were called they would have been very heavy handed even with someone who is non-cis.

 

[Guest]

Shouldn't America be ready for unisex restrooms like Ally McBeal?

 

[Producer]

Man. People jumped on this poster so quickly, and I take it the reason is because everyone wants to appear tolerant. But if what the OP is true, then this would be a serious cause for concern. Consider how your reaction would be if you were a smaller female, alone in a restroom, and a larger, physically imposing male were in there with you.. Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable? As many people as there are who question their gender identity, there are also a great number of perverted people who don't mind taking advantage of the system for sick thrills. I say this because this exact thing was happening at my school. A "gentleman" was using the women's restroom regularly and nobody did anything about it. Then one night, a girl walked into a stall, found him waiting in there for her, and he proceeded to grope her until she escaped and ran for help.

I know I'll catch a lot of crap for saying this, but can't we be half as considerate to people who are uncomfortable (with perfectly good reason) with men in a women's restroom, as we are with those who identity with another gender.

 

[Barcode]

I think we don't know the whole story here.

If the police were called, I'm pretty sure he isn't doing anything wrong. ESP since spot hadn't done anything either?

On the other hand, if the OP is correct, that is rather creepy, and would make females uncomfortable with good reason.

 

[commiecorvus]

Unisex bathrooms are common all over Europe and nobody has the kind of gender issues we do with who uses which room.
This wouldn't be an issue if bathrooms were better designed and built for privacy.
The idea that some how it's incumbent on people who don't fit in standard gender molds to stay out of public rest rooms because it might make someone uncomfortable is repugnant.

 

[Backroom81]

I use the womens' bathroom in the backroom when someone is using the mens'.

Kinda different though. The bathrooms in the back aren't designed to be used by more than 1 person at a time. Having gender designations for those types of bathrooms is stupid anyways.

 

[Barcode]

Commie, that's true but its a different society here.

In America people are prudes, in Europe they are more open to their sexuality.

If this guy identifies as a Male and is going into the Female restrooms, that is wrong. Especially if he is doing it for reasons the OP states. I agree if he had alternate gender identity that it would be different, but the OP has stated that is not the case.

The only thing I can't figure out is why the police haven't done anything, and how he still works at spot? You'd think they would try and fire his ass pretty quick. The only thing I can think of is that he is part of some minority (trans for example), that would make it hard for them to get rid of him without creating a lawsuit -- but then again that would make him trans and it wouldn't be an issue...

so...

Obviously theres a piece missing here.

 

[buliSBI]

I have heard of some lawsuits and incidents in a few states where it was transgender males to females (by appearance only) for using the women's bathroom at a store. They were either fired, ejected from the stores, or arrested. Then the individuals later sued the store or town for discrimination.

As I heard, the courts decreed that one must be identified by the state as being female to be legitimately allowed to enter a women's bathroom. The stores were in the right to enforce their rules as it is private property.

Technically in a lot of states, there are no laws for males to enter a women's bathroom. But it is the right of the store operators to decide if men can be allowed in or not.

There are actually some state legislature's making it a criminal act now for males to enter public women's restrooms for reasons other than janitorial or plumbing purposes.

In the OPs case, if a person is clearly a male and using the women's bathroom. I find that a bit odd and disturbing.

If a TM needs to change, then use the backroom restrooms since they have more room.

 

[commiecorvus]

I have heard of some lawsuits and incidents in a few states where it was transgender males to females (by appearance only) for using the women's bathroom at a store. They were either fired, ejected from the stores, or arrested. Then the individuals later sued the store or town for discrimination.

As I heard, the courts decreed that one must be identified by the state as being female to be legitimately allowed to enter a women's bathroom. The stores were in the right to enforce their rules as it is private property.

Technically in a lot of states, there are no laws for males to enter a women's bathroom. But it is the right of the store operators to decide if men can be allowed in or not.

There are actually some state legislature's making it a criminal act now for males to enter public women's restrooms for reasons other than janitorial or plumbing purposes.

In the OPs case, if a person is clearly a male and using the women's bathroom. I find that a bit odd and disturbing.

If a TM needs to change, then use the backroom restrooms since they have more room.

This is why it's important to realize that the op doesn't know the entire story.

 

[Dr Laytex]

 

[commiecorvus]

Also a good possibility.

 

[ETHICS DEMANDER]

Man. People jumped on this poster so quickly, and I take it the reason is because everyone wants to appear tolerant. But if what the OP is true, then this would be a serious cause for concern. Consider how your reaction would be if you were a smaller female, alone in a restroom, and a larger, physically imposing male were in there with you.. Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable? As many people as there are who question their gender identity, there are also a great number of perverted people who don't mind taking advantage of the system for sick thrills. I say this because this exact thing was happening at my school. A "gentleman" was using the women's restroom regularly and nobody did anything about it. Then one night, a girl walked into a stall, found him waiting in there for her, and he proceeded to grope her until she escaped and ran for help.

I know I'll catch a lot of crap for saying this, but can't we be half as considerate to people who are uncomfortable (with perfectly good reason) with men in a women's restroom, as we are with those who identity with another gender.

I read what they said carefully and others did too.. people didn't exactly jump on this poster.. clearly poster informed us that police and management was involved already and the offender is still doing it so we are going off that if they just told us "guy going in womens what should I do" we would all be singing a different story.. but I will throw something else out there as a possiblity.. offender could also be a high functioning mentally disabled person.. I work with one and he unknowingly made females uncomfortable with his antics and things he said