Archived Worst products ever...

[can't touch this]

Selling blankets just tied with those damn cloth ribbons. We have a whole cart of opened ones because people can't imagine what 8' x 8' looks like so they have to open them up. That cart has been sitting in the middle of Domestics because no one would want to re-fold and re-package them even if we had the time.

Then those same guests come to softlines and untie the table pajamas!

or those people who unfold bathroom rugs and kick their shoes off to "try them out" in the middle of the fuckin aisle

never mind refolding them, I'm more worried about the gross ass toejam

 

[IWishIKnew]

Talking or barking or meowing stuffed animal toys. If I had children and one of those toys came to my house, they would mysteriously lose their "very special, non-replaceable" batteries.

I had a guest buying the last one of those ask me how to turn it off. Lady, don't you think I would have done that weeks ago if I knew how? She said it wasn't a gift meant for her house, and I refrained from asking who it was she didn't like so much as to inflict that on their household.

Minifigures, blind bags, anything in the aggravated gifting monstrosities. I don't know what sorts of drugs they were on when they planned those things, but they can't have been having any fun at all.

 

[vngoghlvr]

Lmao. I ain't religious, nearly, but I did ask for St. Christopher's help, when I shipped 3 of these out on an SFS order today.

I looked to my comrade and asked, "What do you think the chances are that these 3 survive their journey?

Lmao. I ain't religious, nearly, but I did ask for St. Christopher's help, when I shipped 3 of these out on an SFS order today.

I looked to my comrade and asked, "What do you think the chances are that these 3 survive their journey?

I had to ship one a week ago and I bubble wrapped the hell out of him.

 

[SilentCrow]

Airbeds

 

[PackAndCry]

Selling blankets just tied with those damn cloth ribbons. We have a whole cart of opened ones because people can't imagine what 8' x 8' looks like so they have to open them up. That cart has been sitting in the middle of Domestics because no one would want to re-fold and re-package them even if we had the time.

I always pick the ones that have come untied for SFS orders and just fold it in the box.

 

[JohnSith373]

Anything with the name of “ebony” “Black” or “charcoal”. They got to with different DPCI’s only because of the lighter or heavier shade. How is a guest going to see a shade difference on their device when they place an order?

 

[IWishIKnew]

After tonight I have to add the damn faux fur throw blankets and the idiots at Threshold that thought one dainty little ribbon could contain those things.

One of our endcaps looks like a yeti exploded.

 

[BoxCutter]

Popsockets for two reasons.

1. They are never pushed to the correct locations. Makes doing RIGs real fun.

2. The theft of these things must be approaching record numbers. I find at least ten empty packages a day of them. That little nib of plastic does nothing to hold them securely in place. It literally has to be the most stolen product at my store.

 

[TTGOz]

We sell Ouija boards.

As long as you're 14, you can summon the devil.

 

[oath2order]

 

[IWishIKnew]

OMG YES. People above were talking about the screaming rubber chicken version of this guy, but the plush one is 10x worse. OMG. Seriously, if you find yourself needing to give a gift to a child of someone you don't particularly like, this is your answer.

 

[oath2order]

Ornaments in general. The dumb labels they put on them never stay on. And then when I take my cart of stray in the morning from last nights zone it's full of random ornaments with no fucking tags...

The weights that go in sporting goods. I picked one of those up one time and almost smashed my finger, it was 50 pounds...

Anything with glitter. I looked like some kind of fairy after today with all the bows.

Anything that's glass. It either has 1000 layers of styrofoam or it's shattered or both.

The huge ass $200 carpets. They literally weigh 50 pounds are probably the most annoying thing to ever see on a pull. The stupid plastic on them is so annoying and they're so big that they literally don't fit on any vehicle.

Flour/Sugar. It always leaks all over me.

Organic Tampons. Weirdest thing ever. It's like 10x the price and like 10x less of them. And the containers are fucking huge.

Any shit that makes noise. Whether is be one of the dumb little kids keyboards, the annoying santa phone, the dog that always fucking says "I NEED A HUGGGGG" like bitch NO I NEED EARPLUGS! Also the dumb trolls microphone that goes '5.6.7.8 HEYYYY IM NOT GIVING UP TODAY!!! AND NOTHINGS GETTING IN MY WAY!!! AND YOU CAN KNOCK KNOCK ME OVERRRR I WILL GET BACK UP AGAINNNNN! YEAH! TURNNN IT UP! I LOVE IT! Like I swear these things don't even have any battery left by the time someone buys them, they're literally going off everytime I walk past toys...

Also, the cabbage patch dolls smell really weird and gross...

I hate the Beat Bugs. They keep singing All You Need Is Love which is debatably the worst song ever.

I hate ASOTV crap...who the hell watches commercials?

Also kinda lol that the Man had to step in and kill off such an obvious scam for being "misleading"...I mean I guess it's possible to get "misled" by that if your IQ is on the clock...

Honestly if there was one thing I could get rid of from the store, it'd be the As Seen On TV Aisle. I can handle Hei Hei the Chicken and the Beat Bugs singing the shitty Beatles songs. But fuck that ASOTV crap. Waste of resources, waste of space.

how many fucking snow globes do we need

It became kinda an inside joke after the 500th snow globe was laboriously dug out of its styrofoam shell...

*small flat box* "hey look a flat snowglobe"
*giant box of pillows* "hey look a giant snowglobe"
*case of rubber balls* "hey look bouncy snowglobes"
*cans of Silly String* "hey look, snowglobes in a can"
*bottles of antifreeze* "hey look, liquid snowglobes"
*bags of banana chips* "hey look, freeze-dried snowglobes"

I also don't get the point of sending us millions of decorative nutcrackers that are soft wood with flimsy handles & mouths way too small to fit a nut in (that's what she said). Nut status: uncracked

also nobody buys them

 

[can't touch this]

Moar?

BabyAlive dolls are uncanny valley as fuck and I get seriously shook whenever I have to touch them...I would take a real baby screaming and puking on me over those creepy ass dolls any day

Then the 10,000 different Melissa & Doug wooden puzzles which are never pushed to POG and probably get price changed at GS a lot

Sharper Image shit is starting to get on my nerves too, like that dinosaur on wheels that shoots darts or whatever the hell it is that people keep asking me about. They still have a catalog don't they?

The retro games...now I actually like retro stuff because it's A E S T H E T I C but "do you have retro Candyland" is becoming the new "do you have Fingerlings"...Christmas is next monday fam, they're under the tree already

 

[IWishIKnew]

Huh, I don't get asked about the retro games, but we have them on a prominent endcap and they've been pretty well stocked.

I...may or may not have gotten my kids a Lite Bright & Etch-a-sketch for Christmas. Oh, yeah, Target, you know your demographics well, you bastards.

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Huh, I don't get asked about the retro games, but we have them on a prominent endcap and they've been pretty well stocked.

I...may or may not have gotten my kids a Lite Bright & Etch-a-sketch for Christmas. Oh, yeah, Target, you know your demographics well, you bastards.

We do carry that too.

 

[NKG]

The instantpot is getting up there. Cool bro you can make a pot roast in an hour but we will dont have any.

 

[hufflepuff]

That stupid hot potato game that every single package is falling apart on. Potatoes around the store, cardboard package backing, plastic fronts. All over the place. Never together.

 

[IWishIKnew]

You have those still? Dang. That was also on the list of "quick, silly games we can play with the kids that they'll have fun with but require little parental effort." So, of course, we've been out of them for a couple weeks.

 

[Tessa120]

Swimsuits. And the fuckers are already here and waiting for the end of Christmas day. And we still have pieces in clearance from last year.

Any piece of clothing that is gender neutral. Double hatred for those pieces who visually could fit either adults or children. There's no more fun in the world than helping a guest or SFS look for a woman's graphic tee or package of socks and finding it in boys.

 

[Megaparsec]

The compostable dog poop bags. They're literally unusable. They tear if you look at them the wrong way, let alone try putting dog poop in them

 

[Kartman]

You're shitting me.

 

[Redzee]

Vanilla vodka. Got some as a gift. What a thing to do to vodka. OK not a Spot thing but...

 

[IWishIKnew]

OMFG those plush Moana chickens need to go. Today we had a 10-ish yo girl going through and triggering all of them until I gave her the mom-glare. I was in and out of that aisle working pulls so she'd skitter away when I walked by. Where the hell is your parental unit, unsupervised, obnoxious child?

If I ever decide to leave in a way that could possibly get me thrown into jail, it will be barbecuing those m'fers in the parking lot.

 

[Flow Warrior]

Talking or barking or meowing stuffed animal toys. If I had children and one of those toys came to my house, they would mysteriously lose their "very special, non-replaceable" batteries.

The people who do this must be the same as those who open up a curtain panel or a shower curtain - because the one on display isn't big enough? And then they just leave it there, unfolded and draped all over the base deck, spilling onto the floor.

These people deserve a throat punch.

 

[Flow Warrior]

OMFG those plush Moana chickens need to go. Today we had a 10-ish yo girl going through and triggering all of them until I gave her the mom-glare. I was in and out of that aisle working pulls so she'd skitter away when I walked by. Where the hell is your parental unit, unsupervised, obnoxious child?

If I ever decide to leave in a way that could possibly get me thrown into jail, it will be barbecuing those m'fers in the parking lot.

Sorry but I am constantly researching the Moana Chickens because they crow. I increased the amount so we will always have some in the store so when its dead quiet I can set one off just to screw with electronics.