Archived Dumb criminals thread

[daninnj]

I was in the fire aisle talking with a backroom TM when I see two guys who are obviously not Target TMs run across the fire aisle from steel to light duty 2 with our APS going after them. They run to the corner of the backroom behind the fitting room and run out the fire exit by our fixture room near electronics. In light duty 2, they dropped the backpack of clothes they were trying to steal.

Ten minutes later, one guy came back because he left his phone in the backpack. AP left it at guest service and he tried to get behind the desk multiple times before police arrived. He was detained and arrested.

How stupid can you be??

 

[BlueSide]

I had some tweaker I used to go to school with try to steal a phone right in front of me. He messed with it until it just popped off the lockup peg. I was like, "hey uhhh..you gonna pay for that?"
And he freaks out and says, "huh? Oh! Yea uhh...yea," while shitting himself a little he brings the phone up to the boat, sets it down on the counter, and runs away. Right out the door. So odd.

 

[BlueSide]

Also had some other loser I used to go to school with come in and try to steal a bunch a different stuff. I knew he wasn't in the store to pay for anything so I called him out for AP right away. They stopped him before he walked out and he started yelling extremely loud in a child like voice, "what?! You're accusing me of stealing?! I'm telling my mom!" Then he runs off yelling, "MOM! MOM!" I mean the guy is very short and has a young face for a 24 year old but come on, really?

 

[redeye58]

Had a guy picked up for pocketing Hotwheels cars (pretty much filled up his hoodie).
He was in AP's office when a woman came up & asked about her 'missing brother' who fit the description.
When told he was picked up for shoplifting, she ranted about how he was 'mentally retarded' & didn't know what he was doing.
When they brought him out, she asked if he was OK & was talking to him like a small child. He finally looked at her & said "Just stop it, OK? It's not working."

 

[TallAPGuy]

It's always awkward when we have someone enjoy come in looking for people we've stopped. Usually we just tell the service desk to play it off as if they're not in the store, but we stopped this guy whose brother was at the desk trying to return stuff, and got on the phone after we went into the office. Five minutes later, this blacked out lowered honda shows up and six guys wearing predominately blue show up and waited outside while his brother demanded to speak to him. Told him that he had to take care of some paperwork and that he'd be out soon, and that he would have to wait outside, and if he, or anyone else, came in the store again askin for they guy that we would call the police.
They ended up leaving their buddy, and the brother took off without the guy we had, who we released five minutes later with all the paperwork. A bunch of losers.

 

[TallAPGuy]

Another time we stopped two 16 year old girls for stuffing their purses with bras, and the three guys they came in with spent the next 45 minutes calling them, searching the store, and having them paged before we finally told one of the girls they could answer the phone and tell the guys to STFU and that they couldn't hang out for however long until their parents ungrounded them.

 

[LilMissVO]

A guy wanted to return a couple packs of teeth whitening strips without a receipt.

He only had, like, four teeth.

I turned him down easy.

 

[LilMissVO]

Other time, a chick came into the store wanting to do a no-receipt return on a printer. Now, having studied what our shipping labels looked like, I could tell at first glance it wasnt a printer we sold. She insisted it was ours, and I proceeded to demonstrate how there was no way I could return it.

Bonus was that when she handed me her ID for the return, I memorized her name and gave it to our TPS guy to ask if he recognized her. He Googled her name and found out that she had been previously picked up for breaking into a house and attacking two people with a knife.

 

[APMonster]

I had an apprehension where the subject had some stolen merchandise he stole the day before on him. I was able to match the serial number and charge him with that as well.

 

[On6]

I had some tweaker I used to go to school with try to steal a phone right in front of me. He messed with it until it just popped off the lockup peg. I was like, "hey uhhh..you gonna pay for that?"
And he freaks out and says, "huh? Oh! Yea uhh...yea," while shitting himself a little he brings the phone up to the boat, sets it down on the counter, and runs away. Right out the door. So odd.

Be careful with accusing.

But I hope you let AP know, that was a recovery.

 

[On6]

Apped a guy for stealing cologne. It was a misdemeanor amount so all PD had to do was run his record and release if he came back clean. He came clean so the PD is escorting him out.

Guy gets in his car and is immediately stopped by the same officer as he's leaving the parking lot. Guy was driving a stolen car.

 

[commiecorvus]

I think I told this one before but when I worked as a butcher at the grocery store the assistant manager picked up a girl who was stealing make-up.
A bunch of her friends decided they were going to bust her out so they group up at the entrance to the back area and try to push past the 5' tall pregnant store manager.
She gets on the overhead phone and calls for security.
The problem is the store has no security, no AP, nothing.
What it does have is a bunch of men and women in long white coats, covered in blood, carrying huge, very sharp knives.
Needless to say the little bastards decided that running away was a very good idea.

 

[Bosch]

I think I told this one before but when I worked as a butcher at the grocery store the assistant manager picked up a girl who was stealing make-up.
A bunch of her friends decided they were going to bust her out so they group up at the entrance to the back area and try to push past the 5' tall pregnant store manager.
She gets on the overhead phone and calls for security.
The problem is the store has no security, no AP, nothing.
What it does have is a bunch of men and women in long white coats, covered in blood, carrying huge, very sharp knives.
Needless to say the little bastards decided that running away was a very good idea.

You forgot the big walk in freezer and big bone cutting machines.. I will hold up there, but everyone gets the idea.

 

[redeye58]

Sounds like my kinda crew

 

[thetargetman]

a former Target TM would steal the Ipods and IPads and would tell people on Facebook if they needed one he could get it for them.... when he got arrested he just kept saying "how did I get caught?!" shacking his head.

 

[Bosch]

a former Target TM would steal the Ipods and IPads and would tell people on Facebook if they needed one he could get it for them.... when he got arrested he just kept saying "how did I get caught?!" shacking his head.

We just watched the film of them pocketing them in the lock up.. Every year we get one, who thinks they can beat getting caught.