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Guest say the darndest (dumbest) things

Discussion in 'Guests First!' started by HRZone, Mar 28, 2017.

  1. SoCalMama

    SoCalMama Team Member

    I said this last night. I don't know who thought it was funnier - me or the guest? Sometimes, you have to amuse yourself. I was in quite a mood after returning so much crap at GS all afternoon - used stuff, no receipts. We had a borrowed LOD who wanted to make it right for every scammer, I mean guest, so I was sore from bending over all night .... ridiculous.
  2. sito

    sito charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent

    i heard this the other day while pushing candy

    mom picking a pack of gum for her son: dont share this with your friends, ok! this is for you
    son: dont worry i wont share anything, i dont have any friends they all disappoint me
  3. Hardlines God

    Hardlines God Sr. APTL

    A grown woman once asked me why she couldn't find shrimp in the produce department. She thought they were vegetables..
    Kaitii, Logo, Hardlinesmaster and 3 others like this.
  4. StargazerOmega

    StargazerOmega Wizard no more...but how ya doin'?

    Guest: *coming in four hours after her first trip* "Excuse me, I forgot my sausage. You wouldn't happen to still have it would you?"
    Me: *small internal chuckle* "No, not after 4 hours, ma'am."
    Kroneru, lovecats and Frontlanegirl like this.
  5. Kroneru

    Kroneru is choosing a custom title.

    *Pallet of 0.9 cu.ft. microwaves and one misplaced 0.7 cu.ft. on top*
    Guest: Online it says these [thinking of the 0.7] cost $money but this sign [sign is for 0.9] says it cost $money.
    Me: scans the 0.7 This is the one on sale.
    Guest: Oh great. Do you think this can microwave a popcorn bag too? The 0.7?
    Me: [​IMG] yes...
  6. Militantagnostic

    Militantagnostic Just another brick in the wall...

    You could have gone for the upsale, could have really helped that bottom line by telling her it that the 0.7 would cause the popcorn bag to explode and 0.9 was the only microwave rated strong enough to handle it.
    MoreForLess, Kroneru, Kaitii and 6 others like this.
  7. TTGOz

    TTGOz Team Leader

    Guest thoughts at SCO(with new software)

    "Maybe if I press the screen repeatedly maybe it'll do something..."
    plz look at the screen and read how to start a transaction

    "Maybe if I set the produce down on the scale it should automatically know what vegetable it is without me entering it in..."
    You thought wrong

    "Wow, the card reader should NOT be taking this long to read my card... what's wrong, mr. target man? Trying to fuck me over?"
    Maybe try pressing pay first, usually solves that issue

    "I wanted to PAY with this giftcard, but it only added the value of the giftcard to the receipt?! Trying to fuck me over?"
    plz look at the screen, locate the PAY button, locate the GIFTCARD button

    "You get paid to do this?"


    "I wanna challenge a price, but I expect the cashier to immediately fix it, I don't want ANYONE going back to price check or a manager's opinion!"
    sorry that's not how it works

    "I fucked up the machine, but it's your fault"
    so sorry man

    I kinda forgot other nitpicks I noticed through out the day, besides guests just being plain dicks to me for no reason, but that's just not as hilarious. I just love how like a good majority of these issues guests have that absolutely make or break their day at Target would be solved by looking at the screen and critical thinking skills... is it critical thinking skills?
  8. Amanda Cantwell

    Amanda Cantwell Guest Service & Photo

    As of a few days ago if you tap the screen it will say "scan an item to begin" which has been very helpful
    TTGOz likes this.
  9. TTGOz

    TTGOz Team Leader

    omg haha!! I realized that too, that's hilarious. This really nice older gentlemen came in and he had no idea how to work the things so I showed him and I was all "I think it yells at you if you tap it now" and I tapped it and sure enough, the computer says "please scan an item to begin!"

    I also think it's really funny how every time it prints a receipt the software has to remind the guest to grab it, and it's not very quiet about it.
    lovecats likes this.
  10. Amanda Cantwell

    Amanda Cantwell Guest Service & Photo

    People used to forget all the time. It should also say take your coupons since no one ever sees them at my store.
  11. Leo47

    Leo47 Team Leader

    I felt this in my soul
    TTGOz and Frontlanegirl like this.
  12. Frontlanegirl

    Frontlanegirl Team Trainer

    My favorites are the ones that have their card in and are staring at the screen. Um, you need to hit the pay button.
  13. shortstuffishere

    shortstuffishere Team Member

    Or they look up baffled and say "It says to swipe my card...?" Ya.. it wants you to swipe the damn card
    Frontlanegirl likes this.
  14. redeye58

    redeye58 Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!

    *woman talking on her cell while her card is still the slot beeping madly
    "What's that noise?"
    "That's the card reader."
    "Oh. Why is it making that noise?"
    "It's telling you to remove your card."
    "Why is it doing that?"
    "Because the transaction is finished."
    *looks at screen, removes card
    lovecats, HRZone and Frontlanegirl like this.
  15. SoCalMama

    SoCalMama Team Member

    Guest: I don't want to pay for bags
    Me: You were on your phone the whole time, so I bagged them.
    Guest: I have EBT.
    Me: Bummer. You paid for bags.
  16. Amanda Cantwell

    Amanda Cantwell Guest Service & Photo

    My favorite is when they look up at me and say "it's beeping and telling me to remove my card"
    So remove your card then
    CeeCee, PassinTime, lovecats and 2 others like this.
  17. Militantagnostic

    Militantagnostic Just another brick in the wall...

    Guys, beeping is very hostile and not very brand. We will be updating the card readers to play a puppy barking as the new alert tone.
  18. Nokiddiegloves

    Nokiddiegloves Team Leader

    "I can't find the redbox in here?"
    Circle9, lovecats, HRZone and 2 others like this.
  19. Reshop Ninja

    Reshop Ninja Softlines Dps

    "I need you to help me get rid of a body."

    I know he was bsing but who in their right mind says that in the middle of a store?
  20. Greenie

    Greenie Team Member

    Guest walks up. I'd say mid to late 30s. Not old by any means.

    "Can you take a selfie of me?"

    You want me to take a selfie with you?

    "Not with me. I need you to take a selfie of me."

    Ma'am. Selfies are pictures that you take of yourself.

    "Oh. So you can't take a selfie of me?"

    Unfortunately, no, I can't. I can show you how to take a picture of yourself, though.

    "No. I don't want to take a picture. I want to take a selfie." (Walks away)

    I'm thinking I'm being Punk'd at this point and kind of stand there in utter disbelief for a good 15 seconds.
    Bullseyerc, Circle9, lovecats and 2 others like this.