The Things Guests Do/Pet Peeves Thread

prettydeadboy

Getting by these Troubled Times
Joined
Jul 31, 2017
Messages
89
This child HOWLED the entire time because he wanted to be able to walk. Like I swear I have never heard such a loud, ear piercing, scream in my entire life and the entire store could hear it. She decided to go through my side self-checkout and I couldn’t even hear myself think. She was just scanning her stuff not paying any attention to him and everyone was staring and he was just screaming and screaming and this middle aged woman at the machine across from her turns around and goes “CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT THAT KID UP!” And the mom spins around and goes “HE’S AUTISTIC YOU STUPID BITCH, MIND YOUR BUSINESS”
Oh no... I hope he recovered well from that.

Whenever autistic people experience a meltdown, it’s a physiological response (fight-or-flight mode activated) from being overloaded and/or dealing with stress. And that shit is excruciatingly overwhelming. Brain is pushed past max-capacity and convinced there is a threat among them.

Once a meltdown is happening, there is no stopping it. They’re losing control and wanting the pain to stop now. A lot of autistic people react to that through screaming, crying, self-injurying i.e. thrashing, running away, curling up into a ball etc. Some might become nonverbal while others might become semi-verbal as well throughout the meltdown.

It’s really important to communicate with autistic people beforehand if they really trust you what course of actions they want to you do before/during/after they have meltdowns. It differs from person to person.

Stimming (stimulating) doesn’t always prevent a meltdown, but it certainly helps regulate the body and brain from overloading. Tactile i.e. putty, spinning ring, thick jacket/sweater, blanket visual i.e. having pictures or videos of their special interests, auditory i.e. recorded sounds, songs and other stims for autistic people to do.

Yeah sorry for dumping all that info there, I thought it’d be considerate to put it in a spoiler at least.

Oh yeah, big pet peeve: when parents leave their children at self-checkout and expect the person in charge of self-checkout to watch over them while they finish shopping or look for an item “real quick”. This isn’t a daycare service, we’re not getting paid to take care of your kids
 

Yetive

Servant of 2 Masters
Joined
Feb 3, 2016
Messages
5,195
Shopping with my niece once, when she had a meltdown. Didn't want to walk, didn't want to be in the cart, didn't want to be carried. We frequently went shopping together, and she loved it. She was overwhelmed and simply didn't have the tools to calm herself. I put her in an empty cart and wheeled her outside, faced her in the cart to the wall, and we sat quietly until she could calm down. It took about 5 minutes. I was able to ask if she wanted to walk or be in the cart, and she was fine after that. That was the only time she did that, and I was very happy it worked.
 

Tessa120

I escaped the asylum!
Joined
Mar 17, 2017
Messages
2,996
One thing for your spoiler, at least with children, one of those weighted blankets. Sensory deprivation (blocking of light and sound, and the wrapping pressure) does help a lot with getting things under control. Temple Grandin used a cow squeeze machine for that exact thing.
 

Yetive

Servant of 2 Masters
Joined
Feb 3, 2016
Messages
5,195
Another time, I was at work when a kid was crying, screaming, etc. . . Mom was shopping around SL, telling him to be quiet, not paying much attention to him. After about 10 minutes, she started with threats, "if you don't stop right now, we're going to leave and I will take you to your Grandma's house." The kid is exhausted, and finally says, "ok, I want to go to Grandma's," ant Mom comes back with, "I am not taking you to your Grandma's house. You are being naughty."I seriously wanted to just take the kid away from her and just sit with him. And I wanted to deck her.
 

Amanda Cantwell

Service Advocate
Joined
Mar 27, 2017
Messages
4,187
Idk my parents said whenever I started crying as a toddler they would immediately take me out of the public area (store, restaurant, etc) so as to not bother everyone else... seems like a smart thing to do, especially in a restaurant
 
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
506
When my kids were small it was all about distracting them when they would start. Sometimes I would whisper a song so they would have to be quiet to hear me. If they were being obtuse we would play I Spy. If I see a kid on the verge of losing control I’ll play peek a boo or hide and seek (hide behind a clothes rack and sneak smiles from different sides and heights). If they’re walking with their parents I’ll chat with them and play with a little toy (we keep them stashed in the spill stations for this reason). The parents usually appreciate the free 5 minutes of babysitting so they can pick out a shower curtain or grab some cereal. Redirection isn’t used very often anymore but it’s a great tool to have in the arsenal. I’m not saying it will always work, but the times it does it’s magic.
 

Amanda Cantwell

Service Advocate
Joined
Mar 27, 2017
Messages
4,187
I cried once in a store over not getting a toy and my mom took me outside and told me one time not to cry in stores or in public because it’s obnoxious and embarrassing and that was all I needed lol never acted out in stores again
Me, at the tender age of 5: omg are people watching me I’m so embarrassed they probably all hate me I hate myself
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
18,708
My mom would take us to the nearest public restroom for a spanking if we were being bratty & she knew where EVERY store's restroom was located.
For my son, we went from headphones down to earplugs that I carry in my purse.
He also likes sour candy so I keep a small pack on hand for extended shopping.
 
Joined
Jul 24, 2018
Messages
434
Kids crying just don't bother me. I had one situation where a tween autistic boy hit me, and the mother was the cause. She provoked him and told me to not ring up toys. Then she got scared after he hit me when I quietly said, "let's get you checked out so you can take him out of the store." She replied, "he is autistic." I said,"I can see that, but he can't assault people."

That was a poor word choice in my part. At that point, she escalated and it became about how I didn't understand.

I'm sure she had been legally warned by other establishments. I saw quickly what happened. I have never agreed again to be the one to remove toys when I see an issue. The parent must be responsible. I suggest now just putting what they want on the belt and the remainder on another lane.

And I don't use legal language.

He hit me on arm, so no damage, but that wasn't ok.
 

happygoth

reshop till I drop
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
539
Kids crying just don't bother me. I had one situation where a tween autistic boy hit me, and the mother was the cause. She provoked him and told me to not ring up toys. Then she got scared after he hit me when I quietly said, "let's get you checked out so you can take him out of the store." She replied, "he is autistic." I said,"I can see that, but he can't assault people."

That was a poor word choice in my part. At that point, she escalated and it became about how I didn't understand.

I'm sure she had been legally warned by other establishments. I saw quickly what happened. I have never agreed again to be the one to remove toys when I see an issue. The parent must be responsible. I suggest now just putting what they want on the belt and the remainder on another lane.

And I don't use legal language.

He hit me on arm, so no damage, but that wasn't ok.
That was definitely not ok! I hope the mother apologized for her son hitting you. And there was no reason for her to escalate the situation, you said nothing wrong.
 

Tessa120

I escaped the asylum!
Joined
Mar 17, 2017
Messages
2,996
I did hear horror stories like that, kids who hit and parents excusing it with the child didn't have the language ability and empathy/understanding how others feel ability to understand it was wrong. But the truth was it was just really hard to hold to that standard and the parents took the easy way out. But that meant the kids didn't progress to a higher level of functioning, they stayed lower functioning and their potential lost. And they became adults that hit really hard, so then there was no respite care and therapy services because of danger to workers, and if anyone ever called the police about a meltdown the child was at high risk of being shot.
 

Tessa120

I escaped the asylum!
Joined
Mar 17, 2017
Messages
2,996
That second picture - is that a bare footprint? Not bottom of shoe? Ewwwwwwww.
 

Kartman

MasterBlaster
Joined
Nov 20, 2014
Messages
8,825
I have no endurance. I have to take tiny breaks just talking regular... stage IV lung cancer don't let you do much.

I could answer the phone, but I'll pass on that. This time last year I was walking miles a day at Target, almost up to Thanksgiving.

I quit the Fri before Thanksgiving!
 
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